This Is What Happens When You Steal Surfboards In Portugal
“The best type of punishment for them is not by the law.”
Recently, we published an article called ‘How to Steal a Surfboard.’ The idiots you’re about to read about clearly did not learn anything from it.
“There were these rich German guys in a big RV, and they raided three surf shops in Cascais, one after the other,” Nic von Rupp told us about an incident that has gained much traction in the Portuguese surfing world.
“But because the surf community is so tight here, the surf shops communicated with each other, like, ‘Hey, I just got robbed.’ So when these German guys got to the third shop, all the locals knew about it, and something like 30 guys came and stopped them.
“They got caught with all the boards in their RV, and they got the shit beaten out of them,” Nic continued. “Then the cops showed up, took the guys into custody, and they slept in jail for the night.”
You might be wondering what the punishment for stealing boards from multiple surf shops in Portugal is. Us too. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna find out.
“Today they were scheduled for court, but charges had to get dropped because a video of the guy getting slapped was leaked*,” Nic said. “So these guys just get to walk free, and they’re still just cruising around here like nothing happened. The whole of Portugal is on top of those guys right now, wanting them out of the country, and they just showed up in Peniche.
“It just sucks, man,” Nic continued. “The people they stole from are working class. They work really hard, and owning a physical surf shop isn’t easy. And then these rich tourists come into the shop and steal the boards. I know this shit happens if it’s one bad person, but four guys wanting to do that is just sickening.”
We also chatted with a local shop owner, who wished not to be named, but who assisted in the thieves’ apprehension.
“For us, just getting these guys’ faces out on the internet is the best punishment. It’s way better than them getting fined by the courts. We want people to know that if this happens in our neighborhood, or anywhere in Portugal, it will not be tolerated, and you will be caught and humiliated. Just like the guy who tried to steal the pros’ boards at the WSL event in Peniche a few years ago.”
You might also be wondering how a group of traveling Germans managed to steal surfboards from two, almost three, surf shops in broad daylight without getting apprehended. Like…just in a logistical sense.
“A couple of the guys would distract the shop workers by luring them into some back corner of the store and then the other two would grab the boards and walk out with them,” Nic explained.
As if it has to be stated, this is despicable behavior, far worse even than borrowing a friend’s dad’s longboard, spray-painting it black, and refusing to return it for months on end. Especially when you consider that these Germans are clearly not lacking for cash (hence their state-of-the-art RV complete with basketed rental bikes dangling off the back).
“When we caught them, they tried to give us money for the boards,” the local surf shop owner told us. “We said, ‘We don’t want your money. But if you had money in the first place, you should have just bought the boards.'”
One has to wonder what the Germans’ end game was here. Did they plan to sell the surfboards and split a profit of…a couple thousand dollars? Or maybe were they foolish enough to believe they could ride the boards in Portugal without being caught. There is a pretty nice swell coming on Thursday, but it feels like there was probably a less stressful way to get a surf in.
Our surf shop source summed it up nicely: “I think they are probably just really big idiots.”
Whatever the reason, these four will never live down their actions and would be smart to get out of the country sooner rather than later. Portugal clearly has a low tolerance for bullshit, and whether it’s by the hand, the law, or the internet, they will make sure you pay the price for your misdeeds.
*Not by Stab, but we’re posting it now since the situation has reached its legal conclusion.
“He Looks Like The Only Guy With A Spoon At A Soup Party”
We had a writer from outside surfing watch and review her first contest: the WSL…
A Critical View Of The WSL Finals’ Key Moments
Images and observations from the beach at Lowers.
Which Four Boards Would You Keep From Mason Ho’s Electric Acid Quiver?
Choosing from an assortment of contours, outlines, and colors.
Stab Podcast: An Event We Passionately Debated For The Past 12 Months
Feedback from the WSL Finals, slaps of justice, and a Russian SUP parade.
Joyride Board Test: The LSD Hammer
Amateur surfer rides Noa Deane's prized step-up at Kirra and The Box.
Red Bull No Contest, Mexico: A Surfer’s Guide To Scoring Like A Local In Southern Mexico
Inside Barra de la Cruz culture with Mateus Herdy and Rio Waida.
Fourteen World Titles Worth Of Wisdom, Unpacked
What we learned from listening closely to Mick and Kelly during the WSL Finals.
Watch: Jack Robinson Wastes No Parts Of The Buffalo
Five minutes from Western Australia's finest.
The Connection Between Growing Up Poor And Going On To Win World Titles
“The wealthier a town gets, the fewer really good surfers you’ll find in the water.”
WSL Finals Review: “I Don’t Condone (Most) Crimes, But A Helicopter And A Giant Magnet Would Make For One Incredible Heist”
Lowers was an absolute shit-show yesterday. A report from the ground.
Filipe Toledo May Or May Not Be The Ultimate Surfer
Episode 7 is a wrap, find out who's advancing to tomorrow's finale.
10 Questions With S.U.R.F. Winner Jake ‘Money Making Machine’ Vincent
How did Vinny blow his 10 G’s?
Carissa Moore and Gabriel Medina Are Your 2021 World Champions Of Surfing
As it should be.
A King Amongst Medinas: Inside Gabriel’s World Title Winning 2021
How a former South Sydney demolition man helped mastermind Gabriel Medina's Title campaign.
2021 WSL Finals: Live Coverage And Updates
Leave the best comment, win a free surfboard.