This Is What Happens When You Steal Surfboards In Portugal - Stab Mag
247 Views
Everybody's got a plan till they get slapped in the face.

This Is What Happens When You Steal Surfboards In Portugal

“The best type of punishment for them is not by the law.”

Words by Michael Ciaramella
steal surfboard
*Cops theme song plays* Art by @joystain

Recently, we published an article called ‘How to Steal a Surfboard.’ The idiots you’re about to read about clearly did not learn anything from it.

“There were these rich German guys in a big RV, and they raided three surf shops in Cascais, one after the other,” Nic von Rupp told us about an incident that has gained much traction in the Portuguese surfing world.

“But because the surf community is so tight here, the surf shops communicated with each other, like, ‘Hey, I just got robbed.’ So when these German guys got to the third shop, all the locals knew about it, and something like 30 guys came and stopped them.

“They got caught with all the boards in their RV, and they got the shit beaten out of them,” Nic continued. “Then the cops showed up, took the guys into custody, and they slept in jail for the night.”

You might be wondering what the punishment for stealing boards from multiple surf shops in Portugal is. Us too. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna find out.

“Today they were scheduled for court, but charges had to get dropped because a video of the guy getting slapped was leaked*,” Nic said. “So these guys just get to walk free, and they’re still just cruising around here like nothing happened. The whole of Portugal is on top of those guys right now, wanting them out of the country, and they just showed up in Peniche.

“It just sucks, man,” Nic continued. “The people they stole from are working class. They work really hard, and owning a physical surf shop isn’t easy. And then these rich tourists come into the shop and steal the boards. I know this shit happens if it’s one bad person, but four guys wanting to do that is just sickening.”

We also chatted with a local shop owner, who wished not to be named, but who assisted in the thieves’ apprehension.

“For us, just getting these guys’ faces out on the internet is the best punishment. It’s way better than them getting fined by the courts. We want people to know that if this happens in our neighborhood, or anywhere in Portugal, it will not be tolerated, and you will be caught and humiliated. Just like the guy who tried to steal the pros’ boards at the WSL event in Peniche a few years ago.”

The culprits.
And their vehicle.

You might also be wondering how a group of traveling Germans managed to steal surfboards from two, almost three, surf shops in broad daylight without getting apprehended. Like…just in a logistical sense.

“A couple of the guys would distract the shop workers by luring them into some back corner of the store and then the other two would grab the boards and walk out with them,” Nic explained.

As if it has to be stated, this is despicable behavior, far worse even than borrowing a friend’s dad’s longboard, spray-painting it black, and refusing to return it for months on end. Especially when you consider that these Germans are clearly not lacking for cash (hence their state-of-the-art RV complete with basketed rental bikes dangling off the back).

“When we caught them, they tried to give us money for the boards,” the local surf shop owner told us. “We said, ‘We don’t want your money. But if you had money in the first place, you should have just bought the boards.'”

One has to wonder what the Germans’ end game was here. Did they plan to sell the surfboards and split a profit of…a couple thousand dollars? Or maybe were they foolish enough to believe they could ride the boards in Portugal without being caught. There is a pretty nice swell coming on Thursday, but it feels like there was probably a less stressful way to get a surf in.

Our surf shop source summed it up nicely: “I think they are probably just really big idiots.”

Whatever the reason, these four will never live down their actions and would be smart to get out of the country sooner rather than later. Portugal clearly has a low tolerance for bullshit, and whether it’s by the hand, the law, or the internet, they will make sure you pay the price for your misdeeds.

*Not by Stab, but we’re posting it now since the situation has reached its legal conclusion.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Craig Anderson On Starting Businesses, Personal Evolution, And A Surf Edit’s Ability To Shape Our World

"If you left it all up to the WSL, surf culture would be doomed."

Dec 5, 2021

5 More People Just Qualified For The 2022 CT

The Haleiwa Challenger sees 8/12 spots sealed for next season.

Dec 5, 2021

Surfing Can Put You In A Flow State Which Optimizes Your Entire Life, Or Perhaps Not

Stab's resident neuroscientist unpacks 'flow' for us.

Dec 4, 2021

And The Winners Of Snapt4’s Best Barrel And Monster Maneuver Are…

$10k for you, and you!

Dec 4, 2021

Pete Mel: “I Was Always Poking The Bear — I Just Wanted Attention”

Jump on the pod with surfing's (secretly) most interesting man.

Dec 3, 2021

The Eurozone Crisis

Why isn’t such a wave-rich continent producing more World Tour surfers?

Dec 3, 2021

Have You Ever Experienced Surf Guilt?

You really should be surfing more.

Dec 2, 2021

That’s A Nice Reef Break You’ve Got There, Would Be A Shame If I Parked My Big Fucken Boat On It

Why a torched port expansion in the Canary Islands threatens waves, marine life, and surf…

Dec 2, 2021

We’d Take This 3-Board Timmy Patterson Quiver Anywhere In The World (But Especially Indo)

Testing the Synthetic '84, Stoke-Ed, and Step-Up models in the Ments.

Dec 2, 2021

So Who Won Stab Highway?

Breaking down the facts and figures from our first cohort.

Dec 2, 2021

You’ll Want To Watch The Trailer For Peter Hamblin’s New Film, ‘Sweet Adventure’

Then the whole thing at the London Surf Film Festival (free tickets available inside).

Dec 1, 2021

Watch: Everything & All — The Peter Mel Story

An unflinchingly honest account of one of surfing's most familiar, but little known, characters.

Nov 30, 2021

Halfway Through Haleiwa, What’s The Qualification Picture Look Like?

And how did a surfer who lost move up the leaderboard?

Nov 30, 2021

A Photo Essay You’ll Peruse From Cover To Cover After A Christmas Ham And Too Many Chardonnays

Treat yourself or a friend to vol. 2 of ‘Craig’ by John Respondek.

Nov 30, 2021

Breaking: The Eddie Will Go (Assuming There’s Waves)

Iconic Waimea event given the green light by organizers for winter 2021/22.

Nov 30, 2021

9:49

Watch: Jaleesa Vincent Is A Strong Contender For SSOTY

‘Eerie’ is a funky lil’ surf edit from the MVP of Stab Highway.

Nov 29, 2021

Give The Gift Of Stab Premium

Eco friendly and immune to supply chain sickness.

Nov 29, 2021

Surfers Can (Help) Change The World

Four surf-based activists explain why, and how, surfers can get politically involved.

Nov 29, 2021
Advertisement