This Is Not A High Performance Edit
It’s 60 seconds of Stab’s most calamitous moments.
We’ve been in this game for a while now. If something wild goes down in the world of surf, chances are (if it doesn’t take place in the few hours that both our US and Australian staff are asleep – god help us), you won’t have to wait long to see it up in lights here on Stab. It might be a string of blurred pixels featuring someone manhandling a wave the size of a skyscraper, it might be a double-spin, it might be POV of a fidget spinner in a barrel, it might be a wipeout. And what gets the most lovin’ according to Stab’s top secret google analytics data? Fidget spinners in Namibia of course! Anything involving someone falling on a wave comes in at close second. I guess we all have a twisted love for all things novelty, humiliating or painful.
About a month ago, Australian surf retailers Ozmosis dropped us an email. Within was a short video, a wipeout compilation (above), and the details of their latest promotion; Pay With Pain. A 20% discount was available to anyone (16 or above) that shared an Instagram featuring their recent battle wounds (scratches, grazes, compound fractures, amputations etc) they may have sustained and the tags, #paywithpain and @ozmosisaustralia. As sadistic as it sounds, it did seem like a worthy offering, so we got behind it. We put our vid guy to work, he trawled the drives, he ripped the clips, spliced up and bounced out a minute worth of our most cringeworthy imagery. Dive in for CJ’s face/rockplant, dolphin boy’s cetacean baptism, the darkside of the Dock, Noa Dean’s head clash, Kelia Moniz and her fantastic Teahupoo log ride, and more.
Filmed by: Jimmy Kinnaird, Bruno Lemos, Andrew Gradisen, Dan Scott, Wade Carroll, Shane Fletcher, Talon Clemow, Dylan Roberts, Arthur Bourbon, Vincent Kardasik, Mike Pagan, Norwell9, Nuno Dias.
“Airlines Hate Me:” Bad Boy RyRy’s Guide To Surf Travel
Want to get pampered at the pointy end of the plane for free?
What Happens When You Borrow A Pro’s Board?
Joyride: The Shrizz from PANDA surfboards.
UPDATE: People Are Still Surfing ‘La Jetee’ in Reunion Island
Returning to the best & sharkiest air wave in the world, as seen in Mod…
These Are Your Favorite (Female) Surfers
What the Stab reader survey teaches us about taste.
Fear And Loathing in Mainland Mex
Parker Coffin, Harry Roach, and the Roark crew embark on an authentic Oaxacan (surf) trip.
While Everyone Flocked To Tahiti, Kelly Stayed in Jbay
...And proceeded to rip the hell out of it on a "borrowed" 5-finned Tomo.
Can A GQ Cover Boy Take Out Teahupo’o?
Kauli Vaast is your incredibly handsome Tahiti trials winner.
Watch: Ramble On With Caity Simmers
An action-rich tour behind the scenes of her triumphant first voyage to Oz.
PSA: Surf Filmers Not Welcome In Nicaragua
Cameras and drones are being seized on arrival, Stab spoke with two recent visitors.
Inside The Alternative Surfboard Marketing Machine
Two of the biz's best — Matt Parker and Blake Peters — spill many beans.
The Tragic Parallels Between The Murder Of Ricardo Dos Santos & 8x World Jiu Jitsu Champion Leandro Lo
Two Brazilian sporting icons killed brazenly by off-duty police officers.
The Pick-Up, Vans US Open: In The Belly Of The Beast
Finger flips, shaping with Zion Wright, slurpees, Hawaiian takeovers, and the king of Surfline rewinds.