Stab Magazine | This Is Not A High Performance Edit

Live Now: How Surfers Get Paid — The Queens of Ascension


This Is Not A High Performance Edit

It’s 60 seconds of Stab’s most calamitous moments.

cinema // Nov 24, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

We’ve been in this game for a while now. If something wild goes down in the world of surf, chances are (if it doesn’t take place in the few hours that both our US and Australian staff are asleep – god help us), you won’t have to wait long to see it up in lights here on Stab. It might be a string of blurred pixels featuring someone manhandling a wave the size of a skyscraper, it might be a double-spin, it might be POV of a fidget spinner in a barrel, it might be a wipeout. And what gets the most lovin’ according to Stab’s top secret google analytics data? Fidget spinners in Namibia of course! Anything involving someone falling on a wave comes in at close second. I guess we all have a twisted love for all things novelty, humiliating or painful.

About a month ago, Australian surf retailers Ozmosis dropped us an email. Within was a short video, a wipeout compilation (above), and the details of their latest promotionPay With Pain. A 20% discount was available to anyone (16 or above) that shared an Instagram featuring their recent battle wounds (scratches, grazes, compound fractures, amputations etc) they may have sustained and the tags, #paywithpain and @ozmosisaustralia. As sadistic as it sounds, it did seem like a worthy offering, so we got behind it. We put our vid guy to work, he trawled the drives, he ripped the clips, spliced up and bounced out a minute worth of our most cringeworthy imagery. Dive in for CJ’s face/rockplant, dolphin boy’s cetacean baptism, the darkside of the Dock, Noa Dean’s head clash, Kelia Moniz and her fantastic Teahupoo log ride, and more.

Filmed by: Jimmy Kinnaird, Bruno Lemos, Andrew Gradisen, Dan Scott, Wade Carroll, Shane Fletcher, Talon Clemow, Dylan Roberts, Arthur Bourbon, Vincent Kardasik, Mike Pagan, Norwell9, Nuno Dias.



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