Stab Magazine | This Is Not A High Performance Edit

This Is Not A High Performance Edit

It’s 60 seconds of Stab’s most calamitous moments.

Words by stab

We’ve been in this game for a while now. If something wild goes down in the world of surf, chances are (if it doesn’t take place in the few hours that both our US and Australian staff are asleep – god help us), you won’t have to wait long to see it up in lights here on Stab. It might be a string of blurred pixels featuring someone manhandling a wave the size of a skyscraper, it might be a double-spin, it might be POV of a fidget spinner in a barrel, it might be a wipeout. And what gets the most lovin’ according to Stab’s top secret google analytics data? Fidget spinners in Namibia of course! Anything involving someone falling on a wave comes in at close second. I guess we all have a twisted love for all things novelty, humiliating or painful.

About a month ago, Australian surf retailers Ozmosis dropped us an email. Within was a short video, a wipeout compilation (above), and the details of their latest promotionPay With Pain. A 20% discount was available to anyone (16 or above) that shared an Instagram featuring their recent battle wounds (scratches, grazes, compound fractures, amputations etc) they may have sustained and the tags, #paywithpain and @ozmosisaustralia. As sadistic as it sounds, it did seem like a worthy offering, so we got behind it. We put our vid guy to work, he trawled the drives, he ripped the clips, spliced up and bounced out a minute worth of our most cringeworthy imagery. Dive in for CJ’s face/rockplant, dolphin boy’s cetacean baptism, the darkside of the Dock, Noa Dean’s head clash, Kelia Moniz and her fantastic Teahupoo log ride, and more.

Filmed by: Jimmy Kinnaird, Bruno Lemos, Andrew Gradisen, Dan Scott, Wade Carroll, Shane Fletcher, Talon Clemow, Dylan Roberts, Arthur Bourbon, Vincent Kardasik, Mike Pagan, Norwell9, Nuno Dias.



Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Hawaii Report: The Day The Eddie Didn’t Run

Oahu was massive today. Here are some photos to prove it.

Skegss Are Not A Surf Band

The remarkable musical ascention of three boys from unremarkable coastal towns.

Taj Burrow’s Stab in the Dark (Arts) Shaper Reveal

Plus, an official premiere date!

Influential Hawaiian Icon Ben Aipa Has Passed Away

Rest In Power

If you’re an A-list surfer, there’s a good chance you’ve invested in booze

From hard seltzer to hard kombucha to new beer brands and even non-alcoholic beverages, see why big name surfers are…

John Florence’s Last Sessions of 2020

Come see the Hi-Pro Flo-Bros inside.

The Fwd: What’s The Most Questionable Surfboard Trend You’ve Followed?

Let's cringe together.

Rage Crew In Need of Jetski


Reef Heazlewood Wants To Teach You How To Do Airs

Go big and bend ze knees!

First & Last: How Many Boards Does Yago Dora Bring on a 7-Day Surf Trip?

The answer might surprise you.

Lessons Learned: Selema Masekela

On surfing, growing up, and difficult conversations. This voice of action sports shares his path to self actualization.

Two Hyper-Critical Minds Discuss Their Favorite Surfers of 2020

Some of these names might surprise you.

The Pick-Up: Surfing, Science, and Skateparks

Won't find treats this sweet anywhere else.

Underground Tube Addict Scores Hobby-Defining Session At Greenbush

Meet South African-gone-Indonesian charger Shawn Dennis. He's your new hero.

Eithan Osborne Rips a Pumping Point on the French Riviera

Cannes, super yachts and a peeling right pointbreak.

Hossegor = Hollow

How much is a trip to France again? Asking for a friend.

Do Surf-Skate Hybrid Boards Belong In The Trash?

Depends who you ask.

Long Read: A Firsthand Account From The Mav’s Lineup

Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes and in the water at Maverick's? Taylor Paul kicks brevity in the…