Stab Magazine | SUP Pilot Can't Stand Watching Malibu Go Unridden, Surfs For An Hour, Alone, Before Being Chased By The Coast Guard And Arrested
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SUP Pilot Can’t Stand Watching Malibu Go Unridden, Surfs For An Hour, Alone, Before Being Chased By The Coast Guard And Arrested

“I’m going to be on TV!”

Words by stab

The old adage is wrong, not everyone will have 15 minutes of fame. 

To be truly seen in today’s world, one must either be incredibly entertaining, talented and/or smart; have a killer ass; or do something so flamboyantly reckless that people can’t help but watch. 

Today, an unidentified stand-up-paddler etched his name in Malibu’s history books (right next to Miki Dora and Tom Blake) for being the guy who “surfed” perfect, empty, First Point on the great lockdown swell of April 2020. 

After a highly comical water-based chase, the SUP pilot was apprehended by the Coast Guard and/or Malibu police.

According to Charlie Hoberman, a young photographer who happened to be shooting First Point after authorities cleared the Malibu lineup this morning: 

I just got back from taking photos at Surfrider Beach in Malibu. As it is one of the most crowded surf spots in the United States, it was amazing to see it completely empty due to public beach closures for COVID-19 protection. After shooting perfect 3-5 foot surf with hardly any wind (perfect conditions), a standup paddleboarder paddled from the southside of the Malibu Pier, and towards the surf break. There was a lifeguard boat and cops on the beach telling him to get out of the water, threatening him with a ticket. He refused to leave and surfed for about an hour and caught 20+ waves. He sorta teased the cops and lifeguards by pretending to go in but then going back out again to catch a few more. By the end, he made his way towards the pier to head back where he came from but then kept juking out the boats, teasing them some more. They were getting very pissed off and a police boat or swat boat (not sure) came to settle things. They yelled aggressively over the loudspeaker telling him he was going to jail. He still wouldn’t give up. A guy from the lifeguard boat jumped into the ocean and pulled him to shore. He then got arrested and the beach was cheering and hyping him up. He was smiling and stoked that he surfed 1st point Malibu all to himself and was saying stuff like “Im gonna be on the news baby!”

I know, I know—we should all follow the laws regarding (not) surfing during the pandemic, as they are designed to protect us and the rest of humanity. But damn, we’ve gotta give credit where credit’s due.

While we can’t fully condone the perpetrator’s behavior (mostly due to the fact that he was riding a SUP), we did find it entertaining enough to post it on our website. 

Here’s your fifteen minutes, pal. Enjoy it. 

We’ll update this story when we learn our anti-hero’s name and incarceration status. 

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