Softtops, 11am Tins, Last Minute Heroics & Much Leaderboard Shuffling - Stab Mag

Playing (Mostly) Exclusively On Stab Premium: Facing Monsters, Featuring Kerby & Cortney Brown

42 Views
Can't argue with that. Pipe specialist and Hawaiian underground heavy, Kaulana Apo caught two waves of the best waves in the last heat of the men's today to secure his finals spot.

Softtops, 11am Tins, Last Minute Heroics & Much Leaderboard Shuffling

36 heads get axed on day two of the Vans Pipe Masters.

news // Dec 18, 2022
Words by Ethan Davis
Reading Time: 5 minutes

TLDR

  • Eithan wears 46” boardies, channels Andy and summons Backdoor nug
  • Harry Bryant muscles first Backdoor pit, on the tins at 11am
  • Top 4 shuffles and swaps just about every heat
  • Wave of the day: Carissa Moore’s late-drop Backdoor drainer (29.5/30)
  • Laura Enever’s wipeout reel (& $1000 cash bonus)
  • JOB rode a catchsurf soft-top log and caught the best wave of his heat with a GoPro in his mouth
  • Kaulana Apo’s last second jump to first place in R2H10
  • Heaps of brown bags of cash getting around – very hood, I like it

Chart oracle and contest director Nate Fletcher called it this morning. “My prediction is that we’re in for an outstanding day of surfing”. He was bang on. Despite the odd slow heat, the day was packed with big performances and insightful commentary from the booth. 

Harry Bryant woke twenty minutes before the first heat of the morning, grabbed his 6’5” Tokoro, hobbled down to Banzai on a newly-reconditioned ankle, and packed his first proper Backdoor pit. “Was good to shake the monkey off my back and get a proper Backdoor wave,” he remarked in his post-heat interview, before washing down his W with an 11am Pale Ale. 

Eddie Rothman’s mid-sentence transition from explaining the Da Hui Backdoor Shootout format to his live sketch of Eithan’s Backdoor drainer is the kind of off-the-cuff unbleeped froth we need more of on the broadcast. “Ho, look at dis wave, lesgo. Ho, comin out, fuck yeah… that was a good wave”.

In heat two Billy Kemper and Eimeo Czermak both found combos that momentarily had them in the top four. Neither would stay there. Billy looked to be enjoying no-priority, finding three or four waves compared to everyone else’s one or two. Interestingly, Eimeo Czermak said he chose to be in a heat with Billy, and that Pipe is an easier wave than Teahupo’o. Two sizzling hot takes. Heat ended with Billy snapping his leash and a shaving cut on the chin courtesy of the Banzai barber.

Craig Anderson was nudged off a double up by Noah Beschen in heat three. Not sure who was technically “deeper” here but party waves should be encouraged IMO. Imaikalani Devault channeled his inner Johnny Boy Gomes to climb into the top 4, Yago backed him up in the next heat with the first proper tube-to-air combo of the event. 2/4 surfers in the final are from Volcom. Who said stones don’t emit magical powers?

Riss Moore, the most highly paid Red Bull surfer of all time courtesy of sweet performance bonuses (see HSGP ep 4), kicked off womens round one with a Backdoor clinic. Banked a mid-size tube followed by two turns early, then with a minute left, airdropped into a deep long Backdoor cavern and got blown to the shoulder. A 29.5/30 and one of the most memorable waves at Backdoor surfed by a female in competition. Red Bull accountant working Xmas day again…

Ladybird Bela Nalu burning Tati was also notable.

Bettylou and Caity traded off perfect mid-size tubes in heat three with much panache. Will be very interesting to see how these two fare in the Pipe Pro come Jan with all this early-season practice. Riss, Caity, Betty and Moana all winners of round one.

Kaulana Apo was the biggest upset of the day, moving from way down the rankings to first in the last minute of the last heat of the day with two staunch meat and potatoes Pipe bombs. 

Come-Ups

Peak performance: Carissa Moore (R1H1), Joao Chianca R2H9, Kaulana Apo R2H10

Hit replay: Men’s H1R1, Yago jetski floater R2H4

Monster maneuvers:  

  • Eithan and Harry’s Backdoor waves
  • Yago tube to air-rev combo
  • Carissa Moore Backdoor tube
  • Laura Enever in the lip
  • Makana Pang 
  • Kaulana Apo

One-liners: “If you were smart, you wouldn’t be out there, you’d be watching the show” – Mason Ho

Laura Enever talks incredibly well for someone who subjects herself to so much head trauma. Threw herself off the top-ropes on multiple occasions in heat two. “Sorry Mum!” she caveated her post-heat interview with. Copped a $1000 cash bonus in a brown paper bag for her masochism that she’ll put towards her ‘prang with a Tacoma earlier in the week’.

Speaking of them brown paper bags – how gangster. Was kind of Makua to remind recipients to “keep them on the downlow” when getting around the several mile miracle.

That’ll pay for two visits to Foodland

Sophie Bell is a boss. One of the most low-profile competitors coming into this event who proved to be an absolute maniac with a magnetism on camera. Radiates good vibes and received a $500 cash prize for her savagery. “The rent in South Africa sucks, so this is a lot for me”.

Joao Chianca, Balaram Stack, Kaulana Apo and Griffin Colapinto through to the finals. Yes! Not the usual suspects and no one is complaining (lol jks). 

Let-downs

Caught behind: Craig Anderson, Mikey Feb (just)

Caught Inside: Billy Kemper – R2H2, Laura Enever, Sophie Bell

Say what? “Me and my gf thinking of starting an OnlyFans” – Koa Rothman on the livestream YT feed

Craig Anderson’s wave count is a let down. Would’ve loved to have seen some more of his fangs and ‘compete’ for some more quality waves. Then again, it’s probably why you’d much prefer to do an Indo trip with him than most other competitors. 

In a similar vein, seeing Mikey February momentarily crack the final cutline against a bunch of Pipe specialists was a super exciting prospect. Good to periodically remind yourself he’s surfed 15 CT events with his best result coming at Teahupo’o. Having said that, how else you gonna score Kaulana Apo’s postcard Pipe bombing?

Results 

What Next?

The next call for the VPM is tomorrow morning at 8 HST beginning with Round 2 of the women’s, then into the finals (all finals heats are one hour).

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

What’s The Best Surfboard You’ve Ridden This Year?

Damn the marketing — what actually works?

Jul 27, 2024

DON’T FILM THIS (But Pics Are OK)

It's dry July in Tahiti.

Jul 26, 2024

Did ‘Team USA Surfing’ Just Win Best Dressed At the Olympics Before It’s Even Started?

With no Mongolians present in Tahiti, Team USA and Oakley are gunning for Most Fitted.…

Jul 26, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Benny Howard

"I apprenticed as a carpenter, did brickie labouring, dish-pigging, filled up gas tanks, then got…

Jul 26, 2024

Jack Robinson Isn’t (Really) Injured, Police Say ‘No Surfing’, A Chinese Star Emerges

Our first dispatch from the 2024 Olympic Games in Tahiti.

Jul 25, 2024

The Latest Item In Coco Ho’s Ever-Expanding Design Portfolio: A Timepiece With Swatch

She possesses that rare ability to touch things and turn 'em to gold. 

Jul 25, 2024

The Hog Makes His Olympic Predictions

After a night spent vigorously cross-examining athlete data, Hedgy produced these BOAG picks.

Jul 25, 2024

2024 Stab Surfer Of The Year MYC (Mid-Year Check-in)

Who's made the biggest footwell in surf culture, thus far, in the Year of the…

Jul 25, 2024

Are Bronze Medalists Really Happier Than Silver?

Owen 'Bronze God' Wright demystifies the 2024 surfing Olympics.

Jul 24, 2024

‘Desensitised’ Chronicles Kipp Caddy’s Journey To The ‘Wave Of A Lifetime’ In Mind Melting 8K 

“I think crew get a bit too beaten up on the whole tow vs paddle…

Jul 24, 2024

Long Read: How Surfing The World’s Most Dangerous Slabs Saved Kerby Brown’s Life

"There is big wave surfing, and then there is what Kerby does." - Kai Lenny

Jul 24, 2024

Who Nathan Florence Is Betting On For Olympic Gold

Become a better better with our 2023 SSOTY.

Jul 23, 2024

Kai McKenzie Attacked By Shark In Port Macquarie

The young freesurfer sustained a life-threatening injury to his right leg.

Jul 23, 2024

Op-ed: PSA From The Photog World — Know Your Fucking Limits

Nate Lawrence, Chris Bryan, Dom Mosqueira, Morgan Maassen and more chime in on the recent…

Jul 22, 2024

Unlocked: Oxbow’s Children Of Teahupo’o

10,000 miles from Paris, here's a portrait of surfing's 'Olympic Village.'

Jul 22, 2024

Dimitri Poulos Is Reinvigorated After Losing His Taurine-Caffeine Sponsor

Now the 21-year-old ‘comp guy’ from Ventura threatens a Dane-esque pivot to freesurfing.

Jul 22, 2024

Empty Set: When Is It Ok To Bail Your Board?

The Florences and Mark Healey dissect the razor-thin line between cowardice and common sense

Jul 21, 2024

A (Non) Objective Look At The Best Backside Barrel Riders In History

Who has the best pigdog in the pen?

Jul 21, 2024
Advertisement