“Laura Enever Gonna Give You Up!”

Another week, another batch of polished nuggets from the exacerbated dump we call Disqus.

During the past seven days in the demented cauldron of Stab Magazine, so much has happened! Let us reminisce.

First, an enlightened and final cigarette gave us his Taxicab confessions of a voracious commenter. We found out what Limewire’s most downloaded (circa ’05) “One Night in Paris” and animal rescue have in common. Also, the 4BILLIONDOLLAR conglomerate Pornhub gave Dusty Payne an unbeknownst-to-him lead role on their website – similar to the slew ex-girlfriend sex tapes that regularly make their way onto the “adult” site, but also very different… Then we got radical on Ray Collin’s body(surfing renaissance) and Mitch Coleborn had a dark night of spilt Modelos in Mexico. Adult entertainment for everyone! Joe G made a new film. Some guy punched the “great” out of a white shark and lived to dedicate his efforts to Mick Fanning; who, like you and me, taught this man everything he needed to know in the art of shark boxing.

What else? What else!? The North Shore still exists, right? Just as we asked if mainstream surfing has outgrown a miraculous stretch of sand, nostalgic edits ironically filled our inboxes. Remember Pipeline? Remember Rocky Point? Yeah, they’re still good.

We taught you how to purchase sunglasses safely on the internet. And, a more famous, more talented, better looking, more articulate and successful Morgan made a film that you should watch. We ran a few photo galleries in conjunction with it. Oh, we made a playlist! Have a listen. Koa Smith got naked and surfed… then they blurred it out, which was a letdown. Like if you’re gonna show it, show it. And god-be-damned, Mason Ho is playing with rocks again…

The comments are below, as selected by our resident thoroughbred.

Right there.

10. Watch: “Lucas Godfrey X Pipeline” Is Pure North Shore Underground Gold

09. Hudson Ritchie’s A Smooth Operator

08. Watch: “Cult Of Freedom” Starring Taj, Noa, Creed, Jay, Beeg And More

07. Conrad Carr Is Walking From New York To Florida To Save Hurricane-Affected Pets

06. Dusty Payne Discusses His (Assumed) Pornhub XXXtreme Sponsorship

05. How To Purchase Sunglasses On The Internet, Safely

04. A Dark Night Of The Soul With Mitch Coleborn

03. The Hits Keep On Coming

02. Watch: “Jungle” by Morgan Maassen

01. Watch: “Jungle” by Morgan Maassen