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We promise this won't (really) hurt.

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Dusty Payne Discusses His (Assumed) Pornhub XXXtreme Sponsorship



Something amazing happened yesterday. Pornhub.com, that website you reserve for your incognito browser during lonely nights and lonelier mornings, slipped their tip into the action sports purse.


An “XXXtreme Sports Sponsorship” program to be exact. You can read the further details here.


Without hesitation, I reached out to PH to get further details on the program. Chris at Pornhub responded promptly, he asked for questions and said they’d get back ASAP. I inquired about the important stuff like what will team shoots consist of? What exactly is the Pornhub uniform? Do you pay in Bitcoin? Etc.


While I browsed the website worth a whopping $4BILLIONDOLLARS for “work” purposes, a photo was uncovered. And, no it had nothing to do with BDSM, ATM, BBD or tentacle erotica.


It starred one Dusty Payne, doing a top turn in Fiji. Which, we had an inkling he didn’t know much about; or were, moreso, hoping he’d secured what must be a two comma deal from the website that has taught you three ways involving stepmoms and daughters occur on a thrice-daily basis.


And, from a marketing standpoint, it’s genius. Because now, instead of just talking about the content of the premier “adult” ;) site with your friends inside of your living room, you are reading about it here, right now. And, (choose your deity) knows which way your mind’s bending at the very moment. To be honest, you’ve probably already clicked the above link.

So following the first round at Haleiwa, we rang Dusty to catch up.


“Dusty, what’s up man?”


“Not much, how you doing?”


I hadn’t specified my reason for calling, and he couldn’t see the slight grin currently on the other side of the receiver. We talked briefly and mundanely, the “at least there are waves” Haleiwa Pro whole deal.

Screen Shot 2017 11 15 at 11.06.00 AM

There are too many connotations of the word "stab."

“So, anyway I was calling to ask,” I say. “Uh, so how’s that Pornhub sponsorship going?”

“Umm, wait… what.”

“Your Pornhub sponsorship, how’s it going?”


He laughs. Confused and responds, “Uh, not very good. Doesn’t exist. Wait.. what?” He repeats. I laugh, ask him to hold for one moment, and send him the link and a screenshot of his photo.


“They’re offering sponsorships for extreme athletes and have your photo as the surfer”
 
“Are you serious…shit. That’s heavy.”

The text goes through. “Holy cow! I didn’t even know about that.”


“Nah, man. That’s not me. Wait...” This is followed by an awkward exchange of silence. I try and conjure my next question. Dusty soaks in the news I’ve just presented to him. “Shit, this is the same photo I saw of myself on this sports gambling site. How are these guys getting these pictures?” He laughs.

“You know who shot it?”


“No, that was from Fiji last year. Shit, I got to find this guy and tell him to stop peddling this shot to weird websites.”

“You gonna take ‘em up on their Xtreme sponsorship?”

“Extreme sponsorship!” he laughs. “Mitch Coleborn is right next to me, he just said he’s signing up. He wants to be their star!”


“Well, it’s actually an X-X-X-treme sponsorship.”

“Mitch is asking for a five-year deal!” He pauses. “Shit, if you’re gonna get me on Pornhub, I should at least get some cash out of it.”


“They probably have more money than the whole surf industry combined,” I say.

More laughs. Actually, this phone call was mostly laughs, confusion and an overarching theme of perversion. But, mostly exploitation; which is fitting, actually.


“Well, right on man,” says Dusty. “Thanks for sending that over, I guess.”

At the time of writing, Chris at Pornhub has yet to answer any of our questions.

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