Investing 101: Buy These - Stab Mag

Now Live: Ferrari Boyz With Harry Bryant (Redux)


Investing 101: Buy These

Whoever says money doesn’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop.

style // Jun 21, 2022
Words by Corina Stephens
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Not that anyone asked, but…

If I had to describe goofyfooter Rob Machado’s surfing in just three words, I would say: timeless, stylish, and really nice to look at. Ok, that’s seven. Shut up. 

If you also asked me to describe in three words Machado’s recent signature boardshorts, designed in collaboration with Vuori, I would say exactly the same thing.

Easy on the eyes, and your hammies.

Considering the fact that Machado has spent approximately 98.2% of his waking life in, on, or around the ocean, the Aussie-born Californian is an undoubted authority on what goes into making an ideal pair of high-performance trunks. When you also consider his silky style and earth-minded ethos, it becomes clearer yet why the Encinitas-based activewear brand tapped the easy-going ambassador and hometown antihero, to weigh in on their latest water-ready release.

A better boardie test subject you’d be hard-pressed to find.

Top-of-mind design decisions obviously included fabric, length, and pocket placement, as each plays a critical role in the overall wearability and comfort of any pair of short-pants. But, interestingly enough, it’s what you won’t find in these collaborative cozzies, that makes all the difference.

Available in three earthy hues, these ‘Investments in Happiness‘ harbor everything needed for a warm water shred or a lazy afternoon spent ashore – and not an iota more. Spartan though this approach may seem, less is truly more here, and the result is a highly considered pair of pantaloons without the excess that can often impede action, and add unnecessary baggage to your otherwise blissful expression session. 

To Infinity, not beyond.

With performance, fit, and comfort all born equally in mind, the 8.5” inseam trunk is sleek, stylish, and intriguingly understated, sending a noteworthy message in pleasantly hushed tones. (Reminds us of someone we know…)

Additionally, these contemporary classics are woven from a lightweight blend of recycled and coconut-derived fabrics, meaning no rashing, and a sturdiness that’s impossibly soft (on you and the environment). Pushing the comfort factor further, Vuori has added four-way stretch and quick-drying technologies, producing an amphibious ensemble that travels lightly from peeling left to Lotus cafe without tripping you up or leaving you dripping.

A bar of wax in the pocket is worth two on the sand.

To match the subtlety of the overall silhouette, a minimal and strategically placed front zip pocket lays flush and ready for wax slivers, car keys, or other essentials to be quickly tucked or retrieved without causing you to miss a beat – or that line on the horizon. Other notably inconspicuous design details favored by Mr. Smoothy himself include the super-soft neoprene interior waistband (genius), and the ultra-low-profile tie closure. Because, again, less bulk equals more enjoyment.

Happiness, available for a mere $89 or 4 installments of $22.25.

Okay so, I’ve obviously conjured a few more than three words to describe both Machado’s water wizardry and Vuori’s latest loin covers. But fortunately for you, the latter has the expertise – and editing skills – that I seem to lack and have consequently created something truly timeless, stylish, and, very nice to look at.

Shop the Infinity Boardshort in Caramel Hydrangea, Russet, and Black Vintage Ocean.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

How Sophie McCulloch Broke Her Back At The Box Three Days After Being Cut From The CT

The untold brutal side story of finals day in WA.

Apr 24, 2024

The Cut Wasn’t The Surf Fans’ Idea — But It Might Be Our Fault

Psychoanalyzing surfing’s highly sadistic audience (us!).

Apr 23, 2024

How Surfers (And Skiers/Snowboarders) Could Be Using Buoys Better

Snow in Japan = waves at Pipe = snow in Utah, @PowderBuoy told us.

Apr 22, 2024

How Did Sydney’s Hottest Landscape Architect Stack So Many Clips Less Than 10Kms From Centrepoint Tower? 

Fraser Dovell is a man of culture, taste and jabbing North Av lefts in the…

Apr 22, 2024

Full Frame: The Other Side Of Nazaré

The death of a wave, and the birth of an entire genre of surf. 

Apr 21, 2024

Jack Robbo Double Beats Double John At Margies, Gabriela Bryan Dodges Dolphins For Maiden Win

The cut is finished - WA finals recap.

Apr 21, 2024

Watch: A Leisurely Day With Fingal’s-Most-Wanted Foamball Wrangler

Lungi Slabb and filmmaker Beren Hall offer insight into the exact specs which bring GoPro…

Apr 20, 2024

The Stab Interview: Chippa Wilson

On childhood bullies, surfing bigger waves, the making of 'Zipper', and what's on the horizon…

Apr 19, 2024

Medina Cooked at WSL Judges’ BBQ, George Pittar Flares En Route To Finals Day

Four heats, a nine point ride, and some brotherly tears.

Apr 19, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Harry Bryant (Redux)

A Land Cruiser, a shitting collie, a tank of petrol, and a wild Haz in…

Apr 18, 2024

Surprise! Margies Ran At Southside Today

No rest for the wicked - day 5 WA recap.

Apr 18, 2024

A Dispatch From The Best Run Of Swell Northwest Australia May Ever See

Three weeks of pumping surf, two decades ago, that changed this writer's life.

Apr 17, 2024

Nichols, Silva + Spencer Cut, Robinson Lives To Fight Another Day

Waiting: a polite term for slowly losing your mind - here's what happened in WA…

Apr 17, 2024

The Pupo Brothers Will Face Off At Margs, And Only The Winner Can Stay On Tour

Let's look at every match-up that will seal a CT surfer's fate.

Apr 16, 2024


After 30 seasons on tour, 56 event wins & 11 world titles, Kelly Slater has…

Apr 16, 2024

Slater Takes His Last Dance, 7 More Men Axed From The CT

Day 3 WA recap.

Apr 16, 2024

Did Kelly Slater Just Retire?

3 decades, 56 event wins, and 11 World Titles later.

Apr 16, 2024

Goofies Dominate, Ewing Detonates, The GOAT Is Led To Slaughter

Once cut, twice shy.

Apr 15, 2024