Stab Magazine | Comments Of The Week, Edition 69

And The Winners Of The Vans Triple Crown of Surfing Are... Watch The Pick-Up Episode 5, Presented by Vans, To Find Out

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Comments Of The Week, Edition 69

Another week of dubious counseling, reviewed! 

style // Jan 20, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Stab would like to think of the comment section as the purest form of masochistic self-reflection. There’s nothing better than the infinite wisdom derived by the brusque observations of our most reprobate readers. Come on, pull up the psychiatrists’ couch and lets talk about our feelings. 

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71

10. Facebook vs Kauai

“As if evicting native hawaiians wasn’t enough, he’s a fucking paddleboarder too” — On The Contrary

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70

09. A Film About Laird Hamilton Goes To Sundance!

“Rumour has it that Laird wrote and recorded the soundtrack on a bongo drum he fashioned from the hide of a rare Colombian Long Nosed Armadillo (which he fought and killed).” — Barnacle Bill

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69

08. An Unexpected Amount Of Aerial Surfing From Mick Fanning

“Be cool if he had a proper midlife crisis and started dropping black and white edits featuring him smoking, smashing car windows and sticking his middle finger up to the camera whilst sporting orthopaedic shoes and a bowl cut.” — Ando’s Back Knee > Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

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68

07. Prez Obama’s Last Ditch Effort To Protect The Coast

“WTF!! The Obama fish has the same color of Trump!!” — brozzie

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66

06. Cloudbreak Was Beautiful Yesterday

“Holy shit! Torren Martyn and Tyler Warren aren’t the same guy!?” — brozzie

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65

05. Conner Coffin’s Pockets Deepen With The Curl

“Pretending to like bells penned into all Rip Curl contracts” — graham muschachos

“Everyone knows the whole point of the Bells comp is it gives you many, many hours of billy smoking time on the drive down.” — Dilma Rousseff’s Ghost > graham muschachos

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64

04. An Unexpected Amount Of Aerial Surfing From Mick Fanning

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say it was more exciting than his usual surfing. Not better….but its exciting in the same way as it’s exciting when you turn forty, sell the house and wife, buy a womanly looking Porsche Boxster and a high rent Malaysian prostitute and spend the next two years experimenting with different hairstyles that involve 15 hairs and orange hair dye before someone tells you you’re having a midlife crisis.” — Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

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63

03. Brad Flora Breaks Ankle, Hyperextends Toe, Breaks Both Arms And Gets Barreled In Portugal

“Watched the whole fucking video and saw none of those injuries, Stab you piece of shit” — Surf_the_Lakes

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02. Comments Of The Week, Edition 68

“My mum cries if I say the word cunt in front of her but I reckon she would’ve chosen better comments than this. I’m certain you STAB boys only fuck missionary with the lights off. Little more vulgar next time please.” — Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

“Stab should do a COTW edition COTW that only has comments posted on COTW about how bad the COTW’s are” — stewie > Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

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67

01. Must Watch: Mick Fanning Gets Philosophical (And Very Barrelled) In Ireland

“if i found mick fanning in bed with the missus, i’d tuck that legend in.” — norkies

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