Stab Magazine | Comments Of The Week, Edition 68

Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy Will Be Broadcast Live On June 21st and June 22nd from 5 PM - 10 PM PDT


Comments Of The Week, Edition 68

If you can’t beat’em join’em.

style // Oct 30, 2017
Words by Dane Noakes
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Welcome back to COTW, a safe place to reminisce on the weird and wonderful minds traversing Stab’s commentary platform. Shine on you crazy desk-bound diamonds.



07. Noa Deane And Volcom Walk Into A 5-Year Contract

“Fuck, he’s tagging now too, the rascal.” — bobsaggytits



06. Please Enjoy: Gabriel Medina Drinks Beer While Surfing Behind Neymar’s Boat

“Best wave, ever to break in Brazilian shores.” — Axel Foley



05. Brendon Gibbens Shot With Dane Reynolds For Ten Days In South Africa

“short sleeve longie with boots..this fucker is living on the edge..” — blah



04. The Architect Of The Glorious WSL, Paul Speaker Is Stepping Down

“Bobby Martinez for CEO” — noadeanesmoustache



03. Sugar The Surfing Dog Shares With An Ominous Silhouette

“This pup looks about as timid as Filipe out second reef pipe, or me out 6ft fucking anywhere for that matter.” — Noa’s last dart



02. (Fake) Barrels For Bristol!

“When I hear the word Loch, I think about Nessy. If the pool comes with a monster, I’m in for a few rounds.” — Pam Hauser



01. The Profound Wisdom Of Kelly Slater

“Trump is the “world leader”, Slater is retiring, rookies are shit these days, victoria vergara doesn’t answer my e-mails, I’m feeling a bit suicidal myself!” — brozzie


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Allow Us To Introduce The YETI Ladybirds And Bottle Rockets Of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Here's our schoolyard pick for teams; who will win the most cred at the lunch…

Jun 17, 2024

Prediction: Moving The WSL Finals To Fiji Will Kill Off Two More Surfing Superstars

Is this JJF's time to collect his titles? We checked the stats.

Jun 17, 2024

Confirmed: Fiji To Host 2025 WSL Finals

Cloudbreak will remain on tour until 2026.

Jun 17, 2024

What’s The Secret To Powersurfing?

Taylor Knox, Kyuss King, and Jessi Miley-Dyer tackle a trio of questions in our third…

Jun 16, 2024

How To Win Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy

A statistical analysis of the 493 airs attempted in previous chlorinated editions.

Jun 16, 2024

Watch: An Intimate Portrait Of The Wave, Village, And People At The End Of The Road

Oxbow’s ‘Children of Teahupo’o’ is playing exclusively on Stab Premium for the next two weeks. 

Jun 15, 2024

Fuck It, Run The Entire CT In Indo

A historic beginning to the Indonesian dry season.

Jun 14, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Holly Wawn

"I've had 4, 5, maybe 6 cars... I'm a car dealer I reckon."

Jun 13, 2024

A Miscalculated Shallow Dive, Neck-First, Into The Waters Of Japanese Surfing

How is surfing different in the land of cherry blossoms?

Jun 13, 2024

How Has Ian Crane Made 4/5 Stab High Finals?

And who he's most afraid of competing against in Japan.

Jun 13, 2024

“I Haven’t Seen Anyone That Young And That Keen For Heavy Waves In A Decade” —Shane Dorian

Jacob Turner is 16 years old and trying to paddle tow sets at Teahupo'o...on his…

Jun 12, 2024

Long Read: 1,000 Ways To Die In Indonesia

18,000 islands of beautiful people, world-class waves, and danger around every corner.

Jun 11, 2024

Watch: Craig Anderson And Kaito Ohashi Find (Mostly) Empty Waves In Southeast Asia

Oh, and enter to win a grand worth of DB gear.

Jun 11, 2024

Brad Gerlach Rode A 600cc Motorbike Through Europe’s 1980’s Psychedelic Renaissance  

"Fuck London. Let’s just buy motorcycles tomorrow and drive to France, man."

Jun 11, 2024

Caroline Marks Goes Two-In-A-Row And John John Florence Wins First CT Event Since 2020 At The Surf City El Salvador Pro

Plus, we asked Chris Cote for a look into the commentary team's psyche and Griff…

Jun 9, 2024

Why Is Mavericks Core Getting Overrun By Yuppies?

And other questions from our audience — answered by Pete Mel, Mick Fanning, and Joel…

Jun 9, 2024

Everything Worth Remembering From 4 (Mostly) Forgettable Quarterfinals In El Salvador

Plus, what's the consensus on the Griff vs. João kerfluffle?

Jun 8, 2024

Wildcard Big-dogs Italo, Yago Pops The Cork, And Griffin Cops An Ambiguous Interference On Day 2 In El Salvador

"Honestly, that was a bad... uhh I mean, a tough call." - Strider

Jun 8, 2024