Stab Magazine | Watch Griffin Colapinto Get Roasted By Brazilians (And Justifiably So!)

Watch Griffin Colapinto Get Roasted By Brazilians (And Justifiably So!)

Gossip Girl: Saquarema is loose AF!

news // Jun 23, 2019
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

For all the keyboard smack talk about Brazil, Gossip Girl’s been having a hell time in Saq Town, and so has most of the World Tour and their entourage.

The Oi Rio Pro landing smack on a major public holiday has amplified the sleepy, surfy Rio suburb’s annual blowout to truly wall-shaking levels. 

After spending ten hours kicking soccer balls on the beach, the local fans take to the streets of Saquarema with a fucking purpose, the parties up and down Ave. Oceanica going well into the morning hours and surfers who didn’t make the cut in yesterday’s victory-at-sea conditions more than happy to put the loss behind them and indulge in some local flavor, enjoying their unprecedented celebrity here in Brazil as they deserve to (literally any pro surfer with a sticker on their nose is famous here, getting taped for selfies every fourth step, signing autographs on other surfers’ WSL jerseys, etc.)

However, if the Hurley boys look tired, it ain’t from too many caipirinhas, but from their team house being hemmed in on both sides by two massive parties: the opulent beachfront house the WSL rented for their Corona- and Red Bull/Gin-fueld late arvo and evening blowouts, and the pop-up party in the tent that just got erected across the street. Poor Wade Carmichael’s window might as well be on the fucking tent-party’s dancefloor!

After struggling to get through Flavio Padaratz’s afternoon set of Ben Harper covers, or the one song Bradley Cooper and Lady GaGa sing in A Star Is Born at the WSL party, Gossip Girl stumbled out into the streets to join the masses, but not before gleaning the hottest slice of drama from the event so far.

Two days ago, Jake “Snake” Paterson posted a freesurf clip of Stephanie Gilmore shredding in her sparkly blue Roxy Superwoman suit, and Griff Colapinto getting roasted, mostly by ladies, but also by a stocky goofy foot, Big Chumbo as he’s known here in Saq Town, father to local heroes Lucas and Joao. Without context, the clip lit on fire with anti-Brazilian sentiments, everyone from Kelly Slater to Taj Burrow chiming in on how real the struggle is here in Saq Town. 

“It never ceases to blow my mind. I guess they actually wanted to surf WITH the pros,” – Kelly Slater. 

“I thought I missed the tour until I saw this,” – Taj Burrow. 

“Drop in fest,” – Shane Beschen

“Hahahahaha that’s out of this world” – Parker Coffin

“Collaborative effort,” – Tom Carrol

208 comments later, the clip earned the most Nationalistic vitriol since the clip Snake posted of Jesse Mendes and Mikey Wright’s curfuffle at North Point last year. Well, according to our dearest local lords here in Saquarema, Snake’s got a reputation for stirring up the anti-Brazzo pot, and that the clip didn’t show the whole story at all.

Turns out Griffin had casually burned a local star, Marina Werneck, and apparently didn’t apologize. The locals were not impressed, and signaled to the lineup that Griff was not to be left un-roasted. 

We haven’t seen Griff to hear his side, but we’re sure he’s keeping quiet on the subject for good reason.  

Meanwhile, yesterday while the event ran at big, lumpy Itauna, three hundred meters down the beach at Bahia, Little Chumbo, aka Joao Chumbinho, Lucas’ younger brother (who just won his first QS in Chile, and who will surely be a massive threat in a year or two) was getting blown out of absolute massive pits with a handful of the local stars. 

While many claimed it was “a little too inconsistent” for them to make the call to move the event down the beach, from where we were sitting (in the lineup, looking over the shoulder of proper eight-foot bombs) there were three dozen perfect-10s flailing up behind the rock. 

With that, we’re heading back down to the beach: it’s a gorgeous Saturday in Saquarema, and there are too many beautiful bodies out and about to be cooped up indoors. 




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