The top 5 most commented posts on Stab in 2015

Here’s to the the comment section! Stab‘s happy little curation of sexual tension, cusses, alarming xenophobia, deranged nonsense, illicit wit and the occasional, shockingly-profound statement. It’s a place to have a voice, have that voice ignored, to outrage and once in a while, to agree! Here’s the top five pieces of 2015 that had fingers tapping furiously…

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5. Mick Fanning attacked by shark in J-Bay Open final; Event cancelled!

What: The shark attack heard around the world.

Why: Umm, because Mick Fanning got attacked by a fucking shark in the final during a live broadcast and punched it. Then Julian Wilson paddled toward him to help his comrade. It was something never before seen in the history of professional surf competition – or any professional sport. We would’ve assumed this to be the most commented, but it ended up falling into the five spot on this end of year list.

Most up-votes: Julian Wilson sprint paddles over to mick… fucking legend. -Barnacle Bill

Stab‘s highlight: wrong headline dick heads! shark attacked by mick fanning during jbay final -Morgan Freeman

The full story right here.

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4. Owen Wright wins the 2015 Fiji Pro

What: Owen Wright absolutely dominates the Fiji Pro in some of the most exciting surf we saw all year on finals day.

Why: Owen put up two 20 point heats and was unstoppable at Cloudbreak. He won the final with a perfect 20 over Julian Wilson, who was in form the whole event but couldn’t string it together in the final. Not that it would’ve matter, two 10s is a hard feat. And Mr Wright did it twice in two days. His injury before the Pipe Masters was a shame, he’s one of the best out there in heaving left-hand barrels.

Most up-votes: Owen just raised the bar…. No air rotation will EVER touch what he just did in pumping surf….no coaches, no claims….just fucking perfect man-surfing in pumping surf….brav-fucking-o – Mustard Tiger

Stab‘s highlight: Haha, fucked off from work so I could see this. Feeling pretty fucken good about myself right about now. – Omars younger brother

Read the full story here.

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Say whaaaaat?? Mick Fanning and the look of disbelief.

3. Has Mick Fanning’s approach reached its competitive use-by date?

What: Mick loses to Frederico Morais after riding a wave seemingly without flaw for an 8.4. “I wouldn’t be surprised to see it fall in the same zone as (Frederico’s) 9.13 but it could go higher,” called Ross Williams. “I’d be really surprised to see it go lower” … but it did.

Why: Mick’s one of the most consistent competitors on tour. He’s scored for classic surfing and flow and although he’s not pushing the limits of aerial innovation, there’s a reason he’s always one of the top dogs on the CT. When he needed a score he surfed as clean and proper as possible, to see the judges advance local Frederico Morais into the next round and throw a wrench into his title hopes.

Most up-votes: he lost because he fell and wasnt on the good ones, not because the judging. c’mon stab – marky marc

Stab‘s hightlight: Please Frederico’s “meat hook” was gross. He throws both his arms in front of himself like he’s jumping out of a fucking closet to scare his roommate. – David F

Read the full story right here.

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2. Gabriel Medina calls out Kieren Perrow, threatens Glenn Hall on air

What: Gabs gets sassy in a post heat interview, calling out Mr Perrow for his call on the contest, confusion about his interference and says ‘fuck’ quoting Micro. It was taken as a threat, but he really was going to say “I’ll teach him some curse words in Portuguese,” or something along those lines. But all we, the media heard was a goddamn Threat!

Why: It’s Gabs and until now we’d only seen a robotic version of a determined surfer. The implicit jocky-ness of the Brazilian storm was finally alleviated by a bit of drama and some shit talking, and it was revitalising. There’s too much censorship in the WSL, like pulling Mason Ho’s 10 from the internet because of his overly excited claim. On the other side of things it’s understandable: Children idolise surfers and their actions. But hell, you’re either going to turn out ok or you’re not.

Most up-votes: Well, to give Medina credit he has been training up at Rincon. Probably getting some interview coaching from Bobby. – The Right

Stab‘s Highlight: I’m so turned on right now reading this. So much sexual tension. – Chas Reinhold

Read the full story right here.

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When hard work pays off. Photo: WSL

1. Adriano de Souza is your 2015 World Champ

What: Adriano de Souza becoming the second Brazilian world champ in the last two years, over Mick Fanning.

Why: Adriano de Souza worked for the title, he shadowed JOB and studied Pipe like a mad chemist. Any of the guys on tour will tell you the same: terms like work horse are commonly mentioned in ref to Ads. In a drama-filled title race, it came down to Mick Fanning and ADS in the semis – Mick v Gabriel Medina, ADS v Mason Ho. Gabs beat Mick in the dying seconds with a full rotation, that got WSL fans – minus the Brazilians – in an uproar. But on finals day, tunnels were hard to find and although Mick surfed his heart out in the midst of family tragedy and capped an unimaginable year with composure, you have to give it to Gabs for finding another way to get the score. And, in many ways, it was satisfying to see Adriano win. “I’m a worker, not a famous surfer,” he said in his post heat interview. He then dedicated his win to fallen friend Ricardo dos Santos, and to his brother, who bought him his first surfboard for seven dollars. ADS surfs to take care of his family back in Brazil and came from virtually nothing. That’s a refreshing merit we don’t see too often on the world tour.

Most up-votes : Well done ADS. Better you than that armpit shaver.
Mick, you’re a fucking legend. The end. – Floatsection

Stab‘s Highlight: Noa did warn us.– Meep

Read the story right here.