Medina Loses, Mateus Thrives On Second To Last Normal Day Of CT Surfing This Year 

Remember when we reported how the five-day gap between the Mexico waiting period and the Tahiti waiting period, which paired with Tahiti’s mandatory 10-day quarantine for unvaccinated travelers, poses quite the issue for the handful of surfers who’ve been eluding the jab? 

When G. Medina casually took to a Fortnite stream on Twitch to announce that he wasn’t going to Tahiti because he hasn’t gotten vaccinated. 

When G. Medina, a day later, not-so-casually took to Twitter to say vaccines save lives, and he’ll get the COVID when he can. 

When Stab’s IG flooded with anti-vax, anti-WSL comments from enemies of either tyranny or science who have no idea what “Fortnite stream on Twitch” means? 

It turns out that didn’t matter because the League announced the cancellation of Tahiti today. And so, this is the last normal event of the 2021 CT year. If you’re in the Top 5 after Mexico, you’re going to Lowers. If not, get fucked. 

Wow! Who saw that coming? 

Answer: Gossip Girl. 

But still. 

Today was a long day that ran through the Men’s and Women’s Round of 16 and Quarterfinals. That’s 24 heats, all done—shoutout to the overlapping format. There’s something nice about seeing such few sound waves go unridden, particularly for those of us enduring flat spells. 

So, yes, lots of action. Shall we? 

The morning started with Brisa Henessy trying to defeat both the buzzer and current World #2 Johanne Defay of France — which, through the lens of history, hasn’t been an arduous task to achieve. Brisa’s blitzkrieg failed, if you will, and that’s enough World War references for the day. 

In the next heat, which was on the slower side for the morning, Malia Manuel beat Caroline Marx to briefly revive our “Barra hates goofs” conspiracy narrative. This is a big deal because Caroline was in 6th place and nipping at the heels of Steph Gilmore, who rounds out the women’s top 5. 

In heat 6 of the morning, Tyler Wright — who was also within striking distance of Steph — lost to rookie Isabella Nichols by .30 points. This morning’s unfoldings gave Miss Gilmore a reason to wipe sweat from her brow under that cruel Mexican sun. Until Carissa surfed, that is. 

In her heat against Silvana Lima, Moore put up 16.37 points, which included a 9.57 firecracker. She’s got a whole ‘nother gear. Her turns are bigger, faster, louder. She has 100% been the best female CT surfer this year, and Steph will have to beat her if she wants to win her 8th World Title, finally break her record-holding tie with Layne Beachley. 

However, it’ll say a lot about the new format if Carissa doesn’t leave Lowers with the crown. What would you make of that? 

Speaking of crowns and the Illuminati, Tatiana Weston-Webb quickly debunked our once again short-lived goofy foot conspiracy. And she looked damn good doing it. 

Best backhand on the women’s tour? Caroline Marx might have something to say about that, but she won’t say any more of it this year. Meanwhile, Tati is a lock for the finals. 

In the first heat of the men’s round of 16, Ethan Ewing stopped surfing like Ethan Ewing by continuing to surf Ethan Ewing once he puts on a tinted polyester shirt. His heat with Medina was tit for tat, with one of Medina’s many tats (perhaps with biblical connotation) eventually getting the best of E. Such is life. Cruel, at times. Mysterious at others. Every day, we wake up to a miracle, etc.  

Kolohe lost (what up injury wildcard) because he failed to put up more than 5.67 against Deivid Silva. Then, we saw professional Bedes, Leonardo Fioravanti and Morgan Cibilic go at it, with Leo eventually taking top Durbridges. 

Conner Coffin and Jack Robinson beat Jeremy Flores and Rio Waida, each dropping excellent scores to do so. Jack’s 9.37 was particularly lively, and that may have been Jeremy’s last heat ever! There’s a chance he gets a wildcard through Quiksilver, though. One cruel detail that came to life today was that Adriano surfed his last-ever CT heat yesterday without knowing it was happening. 

Heat 7, feat Kelly Slater vs. Italo Ferreira, is as fascinating as modern competitive surfing gets on paper. Kelly won a world title before Italo was even conceived. In theory, he could have visited Baia Formosa, somehow prevented Italo’s parents from having sex, and Italo would not exist. But the world, as we all know, is a much better place with him in it — even for Kelly Slater, who lost today. 

To close out the round, wildcard Mateus Herdy continued his roll by beating Jadson. 

And then it was time for the Quarters.

Johanne Defay and Malia Manuel followed the day’s routine of “the cutback-off”, but only Malia was able to ride away clean from the end section of glory. 

Carissa Moore kicked off her quarter final heat with a 9.8, immediately stomping out any of hope Isabella Nichols may have had.

Sally strung together enough hacks and cutbacks to take down Courtney Conlogue, a heat that cost me $5. Aaron said if we bet I’d pay more attention to the heats but I got distracted again and had to use the WSL’s heat analyzer, which is just a fine tool. Also, I’ll wear a suit and tie into the office before I hand any of my gold coins to that guy.

Steph only needed a single wave to take down Tati in her heat, but backed the 8.33 with a 7.17 because why not. You can’t expect her to just sit there for 25 remaining minutes juggling bowling pins.

Sorry if these descriptions start getting out of hand, Buck fell asleep hours ago and passed this comp wrap onto me (Jack Mustard). Sports are dumb, but let’s continue.

Gabe couldn’t stick his hailmary punt in the last 2 minutes and lost by blank points to Deivid Silva, who dropped more hammers than Bob the Builder on a post-divorce bender.

Connor Coffin fell short to Leo in the quarters but managed to smash his acoustic guitar into the back of Griffin Colapinto’s head. Connor got enough points this comp to take Griffin’s spot at Trestles, stripping him of the opportunity to win a world title at home.

I’d love to share my feelings on this, but this less than appropriate YouTube comment does enough:

Since I definitely won’t be allowed to do this again, I’ll leave my last competitive surf opinion here:

The trophy for this year’s title winner should be a massive asterisk. 

Round Of 16

Heat One: Gabriel Medina (13.60) DEF Ethan Ewing (13.20)

Heat Two:  Deivid Silva (13.44) DEF Kolohe Andino (9.67)

Heat Three: Leo Fioravanti (14.00) DEF Morgan Cibilic (12.00)

Heat Four: Conner Coffin (14.50) DEF Jeremy Flores (9.40)

Heat Five: Jack Robinson (15.80) DEF Rio Waida (13.00)

Heat Six: Frederico Morais (15.43) DEF Yago Dora (12.26)

Heat Seven: Italo Ferreira (14.50) DEF Kelly Slater (12.57)

Heat Eight: Mateus Herdy (13.34) DEF Jadson Andre (9.84)

Women’s Round 3

Heat One: Johanne Defay (14.00) DEF Brisa Hennessy (12.97)

Heat Two: Malia Manuel (12.60) DEF Caroline Marks (10.93)

Heat Three: Sally Fitzgibbons (13.00) DEF Macy Callaghan (10.43)

Heat Four: Courtney Conologue (13.50) DEF Keely Andrew (11.50)

Heat Five: Carissa Moore (16.37) DEF Silvana Lima (15.33)

Heat Six: Isabella Nichols (12.60) DEF Tyler Wright (12.30)

Heat Seven: Tatiana Weston-Webb (15.57) DEF vs Sage Erickson (3.43)

Heat Eight: Stephanie Gilmore (14.07) DEF Bronte Macaulay (12.57)

Quarterfinals

Heat One: Malia Manuel (12.67) DEF Johanne Defay (9.67)

Heat Two: Sally Fitzgibbons (15.17) DEF Courtney Conlogue (11.77)

Heat Three: Carissa Moore (17.47) DEF Isabella Nichols (10.50)

Heat Four: Stephanie Gilmore (15.50) DEF Tatiana Weston-Webb (7.33)

Men’s Semi-finals

Heat One: Deivid Silva vs Leo Fioravanti

Heat Two: Jack Robinson vs Mateus Herdy

Women’s Semi finals

Heat One: Malia Manuel vs Sally Fitzgibbons

Heat Two: Carissa Moore vs Steph Gilmore