Stab’s Greatest Hits of 2015

It’s 2016… and in a few blinks and bad decisions it’ll be 2017. There’s a cliché about time flying, and according to the esteemed Ferris Bueller, “if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.” A lot happened last year but we’ll spare you the details here. What lies beneath are 50 of biggest and best posts to go live on Stabmag.com throughout 2015 – just in case you missed any. FYI we posted upwards of 5.5k pieces this year for your clicking pleasure, so yes, you must have missed some. Breeze through a year in surfing, here:

1. Thank you Andy
Stab’s trip to the Mentawais with three of the world’s best surfers: Dane Reynolds, Noa Deane and Kolohe Andino. We pried a slew of Andy’s boards from behind locked doors in an attempt to psychically channel Andy’s impact on surfing. The results were larger than anything we could have hoped for.

2. Mick Fanning attacked by shark in J-Bay open final
The biggest media hailstorm in the history of surfing, why? Because man of the year, Mick Fanning almost got mauled by a grey suit during a live broadcast #youcantscriptthis.

3. Jack & Alana
Because surfing’s sexiest couple are better together. Love sure is a many splendoured thing.

Go deeper. Photo: @russquinnphoto

4. 5 things Bodyboarders have taught surfers
Call them what you will – speed bumps, dick draggers, spongers –but our fin wearing, horizontal brethren have taught us a thing or two about riding waves. The truth hurts.

5. Stab in the Dark
We had 11 of the world’s best shapers create their most high performance shortboard. Then we took Julian Wilson to WA and had him rank and review them accordingly, fresh out of the water. Cue insight and astounding consistency from Mr Wilson.

6. Playboy Ranked the 21 hottest surfer babes on Instagram
Uh, it’s Playboy ranking the hottest surfer babes on IG. Of course you’re going to scroll through this.

7. Sex and Demin with Sage Erickson
Oh, Sage. A delicate flower missing no petals! Baby’s wearing blue jeans.

8. Jet blue feels the wrath of John John Florence and fans
Airlines have a vendetta against surfboards. We’ve all paid too much to fly boards to surf destinations and many of us have had them arrive in worse shape than when they left. But no worries, they’re never responsible for the damage. How could they be?

9. Gabs calls out Kieren Perrow and threatens Glen Hall on air
Gabs gets sassy and says fuck during the live broadcast. No one is offended. Except the WSL.

10. Kelia Moniz stars in the best wipeout you’ve ever seen
Sis charges. She’s a classic Hawaiian beauty who’s dating the wonderful Mitch Crews, and she happened to take a spill on her log at Chopes which resulted in most enjoyable viewing. We love miss Moniz as much, no more than we enjoy watching this wipeout on repeat.

11. Mick Fanning’s brother dies on the eve of the showdown
Mick’s older brother Peter passes away the night before the big day. He then went out and won his heats. If you’re not a Mick fan yet, shame on you.

12. Kelly Slater’s wave pool is real
The King once again raised the bar on high performance, this time blowing any previous manmade wave out of the water.

13. Ricardo dos Santos, rest in peace
Sentiments for the loss of Ricardo dos Santos after being murdered by gunfire outside his home in Brazil. No community comes together quite like the surf community does in times of hardship.

14. 10 of the world’s sharkiest spots you can’t help but surf
Because perfection > the off chance of getting bitten.

15. The Teahupoo footage you’ve been waiting for
Chopes went Code Orange, and many madmen and one mad woman tamed and were tamed by the mutant.

16. 13 codes to improve the way you surf, with John John Florence
We all want to surf like John. End of story.

17. Horror Stories of the traveling surfer
It can get a bit hairy when overseas and on the road. Inside: Michel Bourez gets kidnapped, Nate Yeomans robbed at gunpoint and more.

18. Derek Hynd first in the water after Mick Fanning vs Shark
“I waited an hour” – Mr Hynd.

19. Kolohe Andino responds to Danny Clayton
Drama makes the world a more entertaining place for better or worse… probably better. “Hey Kolohe, stay the fuck away from my girlfriend!”

Yes, yes, yes, no! no! no! Photo: Terry Richardson

20. Terry Richardson photographs Anastasia Ashley
Mr Richardson’s a famous pervert. Add Ms Ashley and moral panic quickly follows.

21. Dude, where’s my perfect 10?
2015 was so PC. The WSL removed Mason Ho’s perfect 10 at the Pipe Masters from the internets because he umm… jerked off while getting spit out of the barrel. Oh Mase, don’t ever change!

22. Mitch Crews’ belt of pain
Mitch Crews speaks on his arthritis: “At the time I didn’t want to make a fuss, so I’ve never really spoken to anyone about it like this.”

23. Why are we searching for Kelly’s placid lake?
The strange dash to locate Kelly’s wave and go for a cold, murky swim.

24. Surfer takes one last nose ride before death
Surf photographer Jeff ‘Mana’ Walthall snagged one last wave before floating off into the uncertain. There’s no good way to go, but this way seems poetic enough.

You saw this on Insta, another component to the death of the surf cover shot. Photo: Iker San Martin

25. Craig Anderson rides 5’4” Hypto Krypto in 10-12 foot Kandui’s
Kandui’s was all time during the “swell of the decade.” Everyone was out on their step-ups and Mr Anderson brought his Hypto Krypto to the party.

26. Mark Healey talks the biggest wave ever paddled at Puerto Escondido
“Okay, I need to commit to this one. It’s done, it’s happening.”

27. Meet surfing’s first chlorine creation
It had to start somewhere.

28. Has Mick Fanning’s approach reached it’s use-by date?
Are the judges sending a message?

29. “Finnegan is a kook” says the Windansea Pump House
William Finnegan wrote surf memoir Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life and the Windansea Pump House has set out to part the seas of surf bullshit.

30. Downstream with Nikki van Dijk
The lovely Nikki Van Dijk’s body immersed in the therapeutic hum of running water, near Waimea Bay.

31. Evan Geiselman’s emotional first interview about near drowning
“I get another shot at this life”

32. 10 rules for dating a pro surfer with Ashley Osborne
Julian Wilson’s divine counterpart breaks down the rules of engagement.

33. 7 things surfing never needed
Webbed gloves? Surf Shades? And other assorted nonsense that’s made its way into the surf world.

34. Stressful job? Try driving a ski at jaws!
Inspired by Kai Lenny and ski driver Keola Curna’s tumble at the heaviest day in big wave competition.

Father of Mason and Coco, older brother of Derek. The Ho family’s roots run deep in Hawaiian surfing. Photo: Nick Green

35. Michael Ho, Still a Pipe Master at 58
Insight from the man who won the Pipe Masters with a broken arm and his three legged dog Hurricane.

36. Noa Deane talks post-Hawaii and burning too bright
Dear Noa threw the Surfer’s Poll crowd the bird and accompanied it with a “Fuck the WSL,” then took a step back to look at his life.

37. Kelly Slater is not retiring yet
Don’t the internet trolls understand April fools day?

38. The top 8 cutest boys of the Quiksilver pro
All the single ladies.

39. 30 seconds that changed pro surfing
Mick and the shark sent pro surfing’s rating through the roof, globally, inlandly and into outer-fucking-space.

Casual, pretty, pink. Photo: Quang Le

40. John John Florence and two girls walk into a hotel room
Do we need to explain this one?

41. Here’s why Twiggy Baker was banned from the Mavericks event
How the hell do you ban Twiggy? Cartel Management and Committee 5… smells like collusion to us.

42. Owen Wright Hospitalised after Pipeline beating
After being a standout in the freesurfs at Pipe, Owen takes the beating of a lifetime, suffers a severe concussion and finds himself out of title contention and into a hospital bunk.

43. Adriano de Souza, in good company
The world champ and Pipe Master found his way to the title by walking up to Jamie O’Brien’s door and telling him, “I want to surf Pipeline. If you say no to me then I’m going to sleep outside your door.”

44. Sequence: John John Florence flips at backdoor
John John does a flip at backdoor.

45. Shane Dorian talks the contest the Big Wave World Tour needed
The Jaws contest thrilled – just as it needed to. “The best big wave event I’ve ever been in, for sure.”

46. Meet John John Florence and Jordy Smith’s physiotherapist
Mark Kozuki’s one of the best in the biz.

47. An artist living in a material world
With Craig Stecyk, one of the top five surf and skate culture influencers currently living today.

48. 15 years with Freddy Patacchia Jr.
Freddy P on “not retiring,” the death of Andy Irons and the evolution of professional surfing.

49. The air that wasn’t heard around the world, but should have been
Italo Ferreiria punts a massive air reverse at Peniche and gets crickets from surf fans. Craig Anderson dissects the the manoeuvre: “It was fucking crazy!”

That’s a nice chair. Photo: Jessica Werthiem | Galore Mag

50. Alana Blanchard in Gooseberry Intimates for Galore
Nothing wrong with that.