Stab Podcast: What’s A Wave Cost At Surf Abu Dhabi?
Where are the jugglers on a high wire above our heads, naked, wearing jester hats?
This week on the podcast, surfing’s a party everyone wants in on, but the ticket’s steep — $4,000 USD per session.
Split that with a few mates, though, and it’s down to $100 a wave. How much do you really love standing on a board?
Abu Dhabi Surf (ADS) is a high-gloss host. Taj Burrow, fresh from his stay, sings praises of endless towels, no washing-up, and a staff so dedicated they’ll even peel your bananas. Rest those weary hands; Abu Dharling has everything covered.
Mikey shifts the focus from luxury to the cultural norms of the UAE, specifically laws impacting the LGBTQ+ community. “Unsavoury,” he calls them. ADS Senior Director Mitch Crews, however, has his own take:
“I can’t claim to know what that experience is like,” Mitch admits when Mikey presses him on it. “But all I’ll say is that there’s a lot of misinformation out there if you go digging online. Here, people are accepted. If you respect the culture, they’ll respect you. Nobody’s getting beheaded.”
Do your own research — or just take Mitch’s word for it, unless you want to get lost in the depths of a conspiracy. Speaking of which, Buck tosses in his own theory. He’s convinced the WSL’s more hero than villain.
“A thing that pumps millions into surfing, then gives us something to watch for free — maybe it’s not as evil as everyone thinks.”
Hard to swallow, especially given the fading flicker of surfing’s pulse.
The companies have faltered, sure. They haven’t fixed their mistakes. But maybe — just maybe — things are starting to shift. Evan Slater argues the surf industry’s not dead yet. There’s still a pulse, a quiet rebellion, living in Dane Reynolds, the Florence brothers, and a tiny, almost imperceptible sliver — around 2% — of Kolohe Andino.
On the subject of rebellions, the icy fad is dead. In a piece that channels both the Old Testament and Coco Chanel, Paul Evans is staging his own revolt from surfing in the Arctic.
“This article is a condemnation of people who try to make it look nice to go to really cold places,” says Mikey. “Do you really want to go to these places? Have you actually considered all the cans of beans you’d have to eat?”
Also on the agenda: how Mason Ho accidentally made an Indonesian surf film, his ongoing habit of stealing his mother’s record collection, and the influence of Dane Reynolds.
Plus, a slice of unreleased gold — profound musings from surfing’s reclusive godfather, the star of our sky, our David and our Goliath, Mr. Rastovich. He doesn’t ask for much, but for this, do him the honour:
“Put on this song, and then think about how surfing is just a fucking party that we all want to be a part of. But it’s not a let’s get shit-faced and break stuff kind of party. It’s like, where are the jugglers on a high wire above our heads, naked, wearing jester hats? Where’s the person playing the violin underwater, broadcasting it from the bottom of a lake? Where are the dances? Where’s the colour? Where’s the smells? Where are the things truly eclectic and alive? Where are the people fasting on Saturdays and taking acid on Sundays?”
He continues along similar lines, but my simple brain just couldn’t take any more. You’ll have to listen for yourself.
Cheers to that, Dave. Cheers to that.
P.S. You can listen to Rasta, NPJ + Wispy’s band ‘Single Cell Organism’ here.
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