Stab Magazine | Here’s What You Should Know About The Quik Pro France

Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy Will Be Broadcast Live On June 21st and June 22nd from 5 PM - 10 PM PDT

9 Views

Here’s What You Should Know About The Quik Pro France

“…a lot of the World Tour babies are born in July. Subtract 9 months from July and you’re in October — you’re in France. People get over here and just start hammering away at each other like a bunch of endangered yaks.”

news // Oct 7, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

You love previews? Everybody loves previews.

Our beloved Dooma Fahrenfort gave you the web’s best breakdown on how to pick ponies for the Quiksilver Pro France. It was great. It was speculative. It was based off (brilliant) opinion, not fact. And so I figured it’d be nice to it supplement his words with something of a preview.

I am here in France. Going on closeouts. Drinking wine. Eating baguettes. Not eating snails. Drawing obtuse patterns in the sand with my footwork based off the locations of topless women. All the cliches are true. I will be providing you with boots on the ground, dick out coverage from the entire 2017 Quiksilver Pro France. So with potential for the contest to start tomorrow, here’s an intro.

Banks
In the past few years, the contest has been held a kilometer or two north of Hossegor’s prized hen, La Graviere. When it’s on, La Grav is its own beast. There’s an outer canyon that funnels swell in and thrusts it toward the sand with the power of a thousand hips. But, she’s moody — so the Quik Pro usually runs at a different bank to milk it through the tides. However, with sub-par sand up the beach this year, we’re back at La Grav for 2017. On the smaller days, it might not be quite as good for high-performance surfing — remember Filipe’s 10 last year? — but if the conditions align, there’ll be some fucking grandiose tubes.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/KfgjvnOqMYw

Sharks
There’s been a pretty big one lurking around just next-door in Capbreton. It hasn’t bit anyone yet though which means it’s a pussy.

Plagues
The French word for beach is plage. I am not talking about beaches. I am talking about plagues. Europe is not only known for its castles but also for having some of the world’s greatest plagues. The bubonic plague, for example, was memorable for a number of reasons. Anyway, some damn swine flu has been getting around this week and taking people down left and right. Before making any last adjustments to your team, consider facial structure to determine who might have the weakest immune system — choose a strong, robust mug like that of Bede Durbidge. And don’t be startled when you hear some post-heat interviews that sound like Pancho Sullivan. I miss Pancho Sullivan.

Waves
Right now? It’s interesting. This weekend will have decent-sized swell with good conditions — it’d be surprising if at least a few heats of the Quik or Roxy Pro don’t dive in. Beyond that, Wednesday – Friday could be superb. Big, burly and groomed just right. The North Atlantic is an unpredictable beast, but we could be looking at something memorable.

Procreation
According to folklore, a lot of the World Tour babies are born in July. Subtract 9 months from July and you’re in October — you’re in France. People get over here and just start hammering away at each other like a bunch of endangered yaks. Maybe this year, Julian and Ashley will spawn a new Jesus or at the very least one of the judges will try to inseminate an 80% committed cutback.

The Real Race
People like to talk about the World Title race as if it’s life and death. Well, guess what folks — Taj Burrow is still alive. The real life and death race here is the one for re-qualification. With only three events left in the 2017 season, a few heats separate the CT’s bottom 10 from having a marketing person whom they thought was their friend lie to their faces and say that next year’s budget is “zapped.” If you’re having a hard time figuring out who to root for and against, just think about who you’d rather have install the new shingles on your roof.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

JJF + Medina To Continue Rampages In Brazil?

12x CT event winner and previous SITD pilot Taj Burrow says 'yes'.

Jun 19, 2024

Allow Us To Introduce The YETI Ladybirds And Bottle Rockets Of Stab High Japan Presented By Monster Energy

Here's our schoolyard pick for teams; who will win the most cred at the lunch…

Jun 17, 2024

Prediction: Moving The WSL Finals To Fiji Will Kill Off Two More Surfing Superstars

Is this JJF's time to collect his titles? We checked the stats.

Jun 17, 2024

Confirmed: Fiji To Host 2025 WSL Finals

Cloudbreak will remain on tour until 2026.

Jun 17, 2024

What’s The Secret To Powersurfing?

Taylor Knox, Kyuss King, and Jessi Miley-Dyer tackle a trio of questions in our third…

Jun 16, 2024

How To Win Stab High Japan, Presented By Monster Energy

A statistical analysis of the 493 airs attempted in previous chlorinated editions.

Jun 16, 2024

Watch: An Intimate Portrait Of The Wave, Village, And People At The End Of The Road

Oxbow’s ‘Children of Teahupo’o’ is playing exclusively on Stab Premium for the next two weeks. 

Jun 15, 2024

Fuck It, Run The Entire CT In Indo

A historic beginning to the Indonesian dry season.

Jun 14, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Holly Wawn

"I've had 4, 5, maybe 6 cars... I'm a car dealer I reckon."

Jun 13, 2024

A Miscalculated Shallow Dive, Neck-First, Into The Waters Of Japanese Surfing

How is surfing different in the land of cherry blossoms?

Jun 13, 2024

How Has Ian Crane Made 4/5 Stab High Finals?

And who he's most afraid of competing against in Japan.

Jun 13, 2024

“I Haven’t Seen Anyone That Young And That Keen For Heavy Waves In A Decade” —Shane Dorian

Jacob Turner is 16 years old and trying to paddle tow sets at Teahupo'o...on his…

Jun 12, 2024

Long Read: 1,000 Ways To Die In Indonesia

18,000 islands of beautiful people, world-class waves, and danger around every corner.

Jun 11, 2024

Watch: Craig Anderson And Kaito Ohashi Find (Mostly) Empty Waves In Southeast Asia

Oh, and enter to win a grand worth of DB gear.

Jun 11, 2024

Brad Gerlach Rode A 600cc Motorbike Through Europe’s 1980’s Psychedelic Renaissance  

"Fuck London. Let’s just buy motorcycles tomorrow and drive to France, man."

Jun 11, 2024

Caroline Marks Goes Two-In-A-Row And John John Florence Wins First CT Event Since 2020 At The Surf City El Salvador Pro

Plus, we asked Chris Cote for a look into the commentary team's psyche and Griff…

Jun 9, 2024

Why Is Mavericks Core Getting Overrun By Yuppies?

And other questions from our audience — answered by Pete Mel, Mick Fanning, and Joel…

Jun 9, 2024

Everything Worth Remembering From 4 (Mostly) Forgettable Quarterfinals In El Salvador

Plus, what's the consensus on the Griff vs. João kerfluffle?

Jun 8, 2024
Advertisement