America’s Sweetheart Re-signs With Classic Aussie Brand

And did our cryptic headline/kindergarten Photoshop job actually work?

Did you just have to know which adorable yank has sold his soul to which financially imperiled brand?

Well then you might just be a surf nerd! Which is cool, ’cause we are too. 

Now, drum roll please…..

G-Baby re-signs with the the Bong!

It’s been rumored that 19-year-old Griffin Colapinto, now the highest rated American surfer in the world, would use the conclusion of his current Billabong contract to jump ships from the Wave and the Wave to its new parent company, the Mountain and the Wave.

Due to Griffin’s rocket-like ascension in recent times, there were even whispers of a seven-figure salary in the mix, but it would appear that Griff’s loyalties run deeper than his pockets.

According to a recent Instagram post, Griff has signed another four-year contract with his longtime sponsor Billabong for an undisclosed sum*.

Stab wishes Griff and Billabong a heartfelt congratulations. Shall they both continue to prosper from this longheld, symbiotic relationship.

*And yes, we did try to zoom in on the documents like the filthy scavengers that we are. Unfortunately no further details could be excavated.