Albee Layer Reluctantly Escapes Sudden-Death Round On Final Wave Of The Day, Advances to Day 2 of Stab High Japan
“I just want to do my fucking wave, and then go home”
Day one of Stab High Japan was a beautiful deflowering of conventional competition. A caucasian Rastafarian stormed the judges booth, a 38-year-old commentator stumbled his way into the event, and a man disgusted by pressurised situations gloriously lurched into a buzzer-beating victory on the final wave of the day. To read our detailed comp wrap, click here.
Heat two, early morning in Japan. A hysterical quarrel explodes.
Albee Layer has just landed buttocks-to-the-beach after attempting a highly-tekkerz backside varial. Upon riding out, he shifts the weight of his feet so that he, along with mercury, are no longer in retrograde.
But the wave fades, he sinks, and a thousand cherry blossoms sag across Japan.
His landing, perhaps a fraction behind the white-wash, was a certified make by the standards of any conventional wisdom. The judges, however, appeared quizzical.
In the previous heat, a Rasta named Robb landed a similarly dizzying aerial manoeuvre, for which he was mocked, castrated, and made an example of. He was scored a three out of a possible 50 points.
For Albee’s attempt, the judge’s boot of oppression relaxed somewhat — four judges gave him full credit for the air while a dogmatic fourth, Lee Wilson, refused to waver from his “ride-away” convictions, awarding Albee a 0 out of 10. The end result was a 25 out of 50, and Albee’s middling score meant that he would be relegated to the sudden-death surf-off later in the day.
“This wave isn’t like Waco, the run-out is so short that you can’t ride out in front of it. If that shuv-it wasn’t a make then I literally cannot make anything,” offered Albee, frustration clearly gyrating through his veins.
The gods, as they say, are cruel. Albee was allocated the very final wave of the event, meaning that he was left to reckon with his mistreatment for the remainder of the day. The hours passed slowly, and then all at once.
Damien Fahrenfort, Stab’s voice of reason on the ground, attempted to converse with Albee minutes before his shot at redemption. Albee, never one to relish the pressure of competition, was short and resolute.
“I just want to do my fucking wave, and then go home.”
PerfectSwell Shizunami released a final pulse of undulation. Albee stood, Albee spun, Albee grabbed, and Albee won. A triumphant 35-pointer for a backside indy full-rote, enough to send him into day two of Stab High Japan presented by Monster Energy.
Tomorrow, more controversy beckons. Tune into the (hopefully less clunky) live-stream of Stab High Japan, presented by Monster Energy here, available exclusively to Stab Premium members.
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