Surfers Save Boomer From Drowning After (Brief) Lapse In Sound Judgment

“If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s goin’ to break.” – Led Zeppelin

Dee Why lagoon broke this week despite repeated warnings for the rain to stop. Surfer’s privy to wave-birthing opportunities found the cloud’s silver lining by surfing a new standing-wave courtesy of an outgoing current.

When a baby-boomer stumbled upon the standing wave, he naively forgot he was not the once-jacked-stallion of his early years and attempted to cross. He swiftly was swept out in the current, fully clothed, saved only from sure-drowning courtesy of two millennial surfers, Fabio and Eugene, who came to his rescue. 

‘Stoked I didn’t die,’ said the boomer reportedly. ‘At least these welfare spongers can finally give me a handout for once and make themselves useful. It’s pretty idiotic they do this for fun considering how dangerous it is. Also it’s a Monday, shouldn’t they be at work? I tell ya, kids these days have it easy. Thanks for saving me but,” he told unreliable media sources.

*This post is satirical*