Join The Church Of Christian Fletcher Today! - Stab Mag

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Join The Church Of Christian Fletcher Today!

“Fund my campaign. There will be skateparks everywhere.”

elsewhere // Dec 29, 2020
Words by Jack Mutschler
Reading Time: < 1 minute

Amongst the Instagram flood of family portraits this holiday season, Christian Fletcher made a few interesting claims.

Specifically, he posted a few photos: claiming to be god, referring to himself as Lord Dark Air the Surfer, and announcing an upcoming sponsorship with team FUHKU. Lord Dark Air also took the time to announce his candidacy for the 2024 presidential election.

Never been a big religion guy, but fuck it. I’m in. I’ve always entertained the idea of joining a cult—an opportunity to make new friends and work towards a common goal. Christian Fletcher seems like a confident leader. I saw him at the surf expo last year, wearing what I can only describe as an Assassin’s Creed style outfit. Or maybe he was a pirate. Regardless, it was cool.

Guess it’s time for me to dust off the skateboard, brush up on my satanic rituals, and patiently wait for Lord Dark Air’s orders.

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