A guide to digital courting, with Luke Davis

The social media strategy with R E A L deliverables!  Love’s a losing man’s game, there’s no two ways about it. But, you’re too young to fall hard. So live free and scroll the endless dream of single, gentle-gals on social media. To get the scoop on how to convert followers to hand holders, we contacted a man who’s on the front line, Mr Luke Davis. Real life guidelines, born of real life adventures! Interview by Lucas Townsend Direct Message (DM) on Instagram. Oh, man, this is the whole thing! My cover is going to be totally blown telling you guys this, but that little box thing in the top right of your screen on your feed, that’s the money shot right there. It doesn’t matter what you send them. They’re either going to reply, or they’re not. It’s all a game. If you’re stuck, DM them a video on Instagram that’ll make them laugh. The rest will follow. Girls with less followers have less ego. This is a big one! The girl with more followers thinks she’s important, and she’ll generally be more snooty. Sure, it depends on the girl, but that’s a general rule I stick to. You’re more likely to get a response from a girl with less followers; prey on the weak, plus, she’s probably way cooler. All girls want is validation. So, while you aim for the girls with less followers, don’t forget about your own. They’ll think, oh, he’s got followers, he must do something cool. So boost that number, fix your ratio of ‘ers to ‘ings and it’ll be way easier to get a response. It’s fucking retarded, but it’s reality. Learn to love rejection. I think it’s funny when I get flagged. Don’t be phased by the cold shoulder. Move on, you’ll find someone else to double tap and DM. The 16 weeker is an old dog’s move. It’s when you go back through her old photos, pick one out of just her that’s older than 16 weeks, and double tap. I don’t get why you would do that. I don’t think it matters how deep you go. Stick to the DM. But, if you really want her attention, like 100 of her photos. Beware of the vortex. When I’m bored I get so deep in Instagram profiles, sometimes like 20 pages deep. I was sitting at Sydney airport, so bored, and got way too deep this one time. I DM’d this girl, got her number and she was like, “Seriously, how did you even find me?” I was like, “I don’t even know… Instagram. Somehow, I stumbled across you, and now I’m texting you.” I had no answer, whatsoever. Don’t get trapped. Instagram can turn real life. Every time I go out in LA it’s like Instagram has come to life. All the girls in my feed will be at the club. “Oh, I kind of know you, but I’ve never met you.” It’s weird, but it happens to me all the time. The Profile pic is a 2005 problem. It’s not important anymore. It’s small, it’s irrelevant. Don’t stress. Twitter’s the inside track. It often goes unseen because it filters through so quickly. It’s fucked up, you don’t even know! Two girls have just hit me up on Twitter to teach them how to surf. I don’t know them, they just live in LA, and they’re hot! Another girl hit me up today. Just because I surf doesn’t mean I’m a good surf teacher. What the fuck! You surf? Use your skills. I’ve never used the line but girls are using it on me, so the surf lesson isn’t a bad idea to take the relationship from pixels to pants. Private message them and get their number. They’ll live in West Hollywood, and they’ll want to hang out. If you’ve got a board and a wave to teach them on. It’s a deal. Tinder is a time killer. I think Instagram is better for meeting girls than Tinder. I rarely use it. But, I do know people who go absolutely HAM on Tinder and pull chicks every single day, which is really creepy. The quality is lowering now, too. Girls, please don’t send nudes. I get a couple, on occasion, but I don’t know why they do it. What’s that going to do for you? What are you going to try to persuade me with if I’ve already seen everything? And guys, no dick pics. Internet love is real! I found mine on the Internet, but that didn’t work out did it? Anyway, it’s happening every day, people falling in love more and more. It’s not weird anymore, it ain’t taboo. And, now it’s all in your phone you can do it anytime, anywhere. Don’t forget to ditch the screen and party. Nothing’s better than meeting a girl at a club. The Bird Nest has the best parties in LA and I’ll post about it every time I go. I pretty much live there. It’s fun, there’s no bullshit, it’s $20 at the door and you can do whatever you want. Beautiful.