Stab Magazine | What's The Most Irrational Thing That Bugs You In The Lineup?

What’s The Most Irrational Thing That Bugs You In The Lineup?

Spontaneous human combustion for the soul.

style // Jun 26, 2020
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Ed note: the following is the third installment of our new weekly email chain called the Stab Fwd. If you’re into it, subscribe here.

As we discussed, last Saturday was International Surfing Day. I’d like to start this week’s Fwd by telling you how I spent that day.

I surfed but that’s irrelevant. I surf (almost) every day and Instagram has no influence on that. Ok, maybe Italo’s does. 

More significant than the time I spent in the water on ISD was the time I spent out of it. Specifically, when food poisoning crept in and forced me to split my time between the couch and the bathroom. 

For everyone’s sake, I’ll focus on the former of those locations. 

Nausea, pain, fatigue, and delirium came together to form what felt like an adhesive between myself and the couch. The only thing I craved was for time to pass more quickly. I searched for something mindless on Netflix and quickly learned that Adam Sandler romantic comedies are more painful than most gastrointestinal ailments. 

Then I had another thought. I’ll watch Campaign. 

It was/is my favorite surf movie. While I’ve spent plenty of time revisiting some of the sections over the years (specifically Andy’s), it’d been far too long since I’d seen it in full. 

And wow. 

Fifteen years later, the narrative felt like a prophecy. If you look beyond the airs, a lot of that surfing is still unparalleled. I had goosebumps by the time the ender, Bruce’s part, came along. It made my day. 

Isn’t there something funny about that? Hours before, I’d surfed fun waves in warm water under a bright blue sky — but this mattered more. 

I know some of the Fwd’s audience is landlocked, and I’d assume many people read this while they’re in a situation where riding waves is an impossibility. Surfing means different things to different people, but I hope something in here (or in Campaign) triggers whatever it was that went off in me on International Surfing Day.

This Is A Blueprint For Future WSL Success

The World Surf League is a revered organization and their every decision is met with pure respect and admiration from the entire surf community. Except not. Real talk though, this piece does a great job of laying it all out. Don’t be surprised if you see components of this come to life. Its author, Jimmicane, once used the English language to eradicate double grabs from surfing. A few years back, he also wrote a plan for a condensed season and it has been internally referenced and pushed for ever since. If you care about professional surfing, give it a read. 

Stab Recommends: 7 Cult Noughties Surf Films

Want to keep rolling with that old-ish surf movie kick? Consider this a rabbit hole, which is an opening in a mound of dirt that leads into an often complex series of underground chambers. Get deep for free. 

We Tested The Pyzel Shadow Wrapped Entirely In Carbon

Surfboards need to float, flex, and not break. It doesn’t sound very complicated, yet it is — especially if you want to do fancy lil tricks. Carbon wraps ain’t new, but this proprietary tech is. I, for one, welcome any innovation in surfboard materials. This story was one of our hits this week, so it appears as though a lot of people share that sentiment. 

Ok, what’s Dane doing? 

Vaguely hinting at conspiracy theories while surfing small waves incredibly well. He just dropped a new clip and some thoughts on Chapter and there’s nothing else I can say here because the past ten years of surfing have already taught you that anything Dane does is must watch/read/etc. 

Shall we endorse insanity? 

Yes. Big waves are an aspect of surfing that has experienced an insane amount of progression since Campaign. This Tom Lowe edit is a testament to that. Can you imagine what kind of weird shit would have to be happening in your brain to pack waves like this? 


Highlight: Duncan Macfarlane 

The first time I met Duncan, he was tasked with picking me up from HNL airport at a less than ideal hour in the evening. A wrong turn (or series of them) led us to take the East Side the whole way back, which adds about an hour. Frustration would have been the appropriate response, but it didn’t even register in him. The dreary-eyed ride was filled with great conversation. 

That’s an elaborate way of saying he’s a great person. 

Above is a recent photo of Duncan’s with an ink border. Below is the backstory. Click the image above to see more from this session on his site. 

This photo was during my first trip further than 5km from my house since Australia entered COVID-19 lockdown. The restrictions had just been lifted and there was a nice swell that hung around for 3-4 days straight, with ideal offshore and clear conditions from sunup to sundown. 

Wade Goodall, Creed McTaggart and I chased waves up and down the coast. We had one session where it was just Wade, Creed, and Dave Rastovich in the water and it was cooking. Six-foot pipes and walls — they were surfing so good. Over the years, those three guys have been a big part of my life and work. Wade helped me get my leg up into shooting surfing almost a decade ago. Rasta is the most iconic lad and I’ve done some incredible trips with him. Creed is one of my favorite surfers but also best mates, as are the other two. So I was absolutely loving this session in the best light and waves, standing next to another best mate and absolute mad-dog and accomplished filmmaker Harry Triglone (Funboys Entertainment Limited).

I couldn’t ask for more in terms of the time, people, place and waves. Maybe I was elated to get out of isolation from the virus and be with friends surfing again — that could be a factor — but it still felt like an iconic session. The clips Harry filmed are insane to watch as a whole session. Not sure what he’s planning to do with them, but you can stay tuned to Funboys to find out.

What appalls you? 

Me? Colored zinc. It fucking kills me. Kids are all good but I can’t get past seeing it on a post-pubescent face. This isn’t about me, though. It’s about us. 

What’s the most irrational thing that bugs you in the lineup? Keyword is irrational. Don’t come at me with crowds, kooks, or anything obvious. I’ll feature the funniest/weirdest one here next week and try to send you a t-shirt or something.

One last thing: 

Three waves counts as a surf.

Subscribe here to the Stab FWD.


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