Stab Studs

Issue II:
Nathan Webster talks Doolies and Sweaty Junkies.

STAB: You take a lot of pride in your appearance. How’d it all start?
Nudes: I dont’ think I started getting weird until I was 19. I started riding for some left-field companies in a particularly grim period of surf fashion. Some of the gear was so horrendous I had to reshape it into stuff that actually worked. Like, fuck, this s serious, I’ve got to take this shit into my own hands.
Define your style.
Ah, my stereotyping as a wanker is going to go even deeper. This interview’s a bit rich. Hmm, I can’t really define my style.
Would you say your look is contrived?
It’s contrived in its conception to the point that I have picked it cause I like it. But for the most part I’ve just thrown it on. I am a narcissistic person, though. Smell the rat.
Why is style important? Why isn’t it a frivolous thing?
For a relatively ugly dude, it’s one good way of pulling yourself out of a rut.
Does the fruitier price tag lift the appeal?
There’s an element of truth in that, but money can’t buy style. You just have to look at doolies like P Diddy and shit. Most of the coolest cats pull outfits out of their arse. It’s how you wear it.
You seen guys punch above their weight division with women because of their sense of style?
Oh yeah, that shit is common. Look at ol mate Pete Doherty. He’s just a sweaty-lookin’ fucken heroin addict. He wears his stained and ripped clothes and now he’s sweatin up sheets with Kate Moss. He’s testament to fashion.
And he defies the theory that you can’t look good without a tan.
He totally defies it. It’s part of his smackie look he’s rolling with and it works. I’m chomping in. Kate’s chomping in.
With style do you have to live in the now. What are you gonna look like looking back?
There’s always gonna be a really big cringe factor to what you’re doing. I remember looking back, well, not even that long ago, and I’m sporting three-quarter length shants (not shorts, not pants)! I wish I could send everyone who witnessed those things to Laguna Inc (that place in Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind) and erase those memories. I don’t ever want to look back at those atrocities and tragedies that pave taken place over my lifetime a s a fashion faggot. I do look back with pride at a corduroy suit and skinny tie I once rocked, though.
Who’s the most stylish man in surfing?
Donnie (Frankenreiter) would have to take the title. I don’t know whether I’d ever bite his steeze (style with ease) but he believes it and is playing it out. It suits him.
Anyone particularly lacking?
Kirk Flintoff always gets me lately.
Yeah, but everyone’s spruiking round in their painted-on tees and he looks pretty good in his oversized gear.
He’s just running with a wigga style. And, he’s just a skinny white boy. I guess he does deserve some credit of cool. There’s plenty of bad dudes but ya know what, they don’t care about it. Why should they, for the most part it is a crock of shit. Whatever floats your boat at the end of the day.
Who’s the most stylish dude in the world?
Pete’s the king at the moment. I hang my hat on him.
You’ve got an interesting take on stylish surfing.
I like little pieces of imperfection. Growing up I always preferred Occy to Curren beause Curren was just perfect. Occy would always do something weird and out of place. These days I love watching Andy because he does some strange-looking stuff. Little punk tweaks in his style that no one else does. Then again, I’ve got a huge crush on Parko. And he surfs like a tailored Gucci suit. Andy’s more like a pari of old faitful jeans. You can put both of those thing ona nd feel amazing. Not that I wanna wear any of those dudes, but you get my drift.
What fashion faux pas should a surfer steer clear of at the moment?
What was cool five years ago don’t work now, kids. Like, paint splattered, scrawly, scribbly writing? No! Never touch denim shorts unless you have cut a pair of your skinnies over the knee. Pink shirts are so passé. They’re invading us. Fuck, don’t get me started. I could crap on for ages about it I don’t wanna be that guy. Just let me go surfing. Ha.

Issue 13: Andy Irons and a puff piece by his greatest fan Sam McIntosh.

What sort of ride you trucking?
Pretty mellow. I don’t got Mercedes or Range Rovers or anything like that. I’ve got a sick Toyota Tundra. It’s black with nice tyres and rims and tinted windows, kinda Knight Rider, badd-ass, goes good on the sand, good in the mud, which is good for me. I’ve had that for about five years now. Then I’ve got a Ford Expedition my chick drives, nice big power edition, limited, tricked out with leather and GP unit, sat nav, which I never use, a real good stereo and 22” rims.
Ever felt the need to drop a crapload of green on a nice big rig, let the town know the champ’s home?
Fuck, I don’t need that shit. Even though I’m making good money surfing and shit, my friends don’t really know that and I don’t wanna flaunt it. I’ve got a couple nice trucks with nice tyres and a nice house, that’s all I want. I don’t want to be flamboyant. If I was driving a fucken Lamborghini around Kauai, I’d be an idiot, people’d be keying it and shit.
You’re always on white boards. Why no sprays?
Occy always had white boards, and I liked watching him. I get sick of repetitive airbrushes. I never really had an airbrush that’s stuck with me.
So when you and your lady are hanging out, what do you cook?
I don’t cook at all. I’ve got no culinary skills at all. If Lyndie’s not there I order out and if I don’t’ do that I get a friend over to cook dinner. I’m more the clean-up guy. I wash dishes. You cook, I’ll wash dishes. Bruce can cook. He really knows how to work a barbecue. I’ll work the mood. I’m more of the director type.
When was the last time you wore a springie or a short john?
Years. Short-sleeve steamer or baordies/vest. Anything with a short leg and it’s not gonna happen.
What brought out the long wig?
I’m fucken bringing it back, like Occy in 88 or 89. I had short hair for years and I watched Wave Warriors III today and Archy had long hair to his shoulders si I figure I’ll go to that length. I’m letting it flow and wherever it goes, it goes. You guys wrote me off for the college haircut for so long, and then for the haircut my chick gave me on the Goldie a few years back so I figure I’ll go the mop head.
Did you comb that thing for the shoot?
No, straight outta the water. Fucken manicured Zoolander shit, bro. Come out looking like I’m straight out of the haircutting salon.

Issue 14: Donavon Frankenreiter, the “the guitar-swinging crooner who was strangling folk chords before Jack Johnson’s homely ditties swallowed MTV”, falls under the adoring gaze of Derek Rielly.

STAB: Who are your style icons?
DONNIE: I like old photos of the Stones, Hendrix – that whole era, ’68 to ’78. a lot of neat stuff happened then. I ding the flares, those really neat, different patters and patchwork stuff, big collars, jackets and shoes. Everything seemed to have neat narrow cuts, flares on the arms, flares on the legs…
When did you start going down that path?
It must have been ’93, ’94. I was running with Brad Gerlach for a while and we’d hunt old clothes, old surfboards. I remember it used to be a whole lot easier to find stuff. Now it’s real expensive. Back then they were pretty much giving away col leather jackets with the tassel things. Now it’s like, that’s a hundred dollars!
How’d it feel when the mainstream started catching up with your style?
There’s a lot of old boards, a lot of people shaping the twin fins, the singes and the fishes, everyone’s turned onto riding the old boards – but I don’t see many guys walking round with flares. Maybe an old jacket, but flares?
You’re the lynchpin of Drive-Thru. How does it feel to carry such a grave responsibility?
You know, I told Greg (Browning) I’d be a part of every one of those he does and it’d be great to have Benji involved. I thing me and Benji bring out the best in all those other people and also maybe get em riled up or angry. I don’t know what we do, but we don’t take it seriously. And there’s four of the guys there who really take their surfing serious, and it’s hilarious! Those, to me, are the ultimate surf trips. When we were younger that’s why we all started to surf: to get in a van with four other dudes and drive up the coast.
Tell me about your ride.
I got my dad’s old work truck. It’s, like, a Ford 250. Four door, like, fucken… I drive down the street and then I gotta fucken turn around and full ut up with gas. It’s a really gross, rusty, gold, stupid… what is that colour? Brown, gold yukky colour?
You a gun guy?
I don’t like guns. I’ve only ever shot a gun once in my life. Believe it or not, at the Malloy ranch…
That didn’t make it into Shelter…
Hee hee, I just went up there to shoot pictures and surf and the Malloys weren’t even there and their Dad was, like, “You ever shoot a gun, boy?” I was like, “I don’t think I’ve even held a gun” and he was like, “Whaaaaat?” and he was all pissed off and ran inside and showed me this gun and I shot it a couple of times. I’m not into guns and I’d never have a gun around the house but, you know, if people wanna bear arms, that’s their deal. People get all weird in America, we gotta have our right to pack heat. Whatever. If that’s your deal, but I would never do it. That would be really weird.
Motto?
Be happy, love one another, make love not war, hugs not drugs, if it’s brown flush it down…
Who’s the one living person you most admire?
My wife. She’s a good cook and she makes great bleached jeans. And she trims my moustache.

Issue 15: Luke Stedman discusses vanity and the power of narcissism with Derek Rielly.

STAB: Tell me, in Greek mythology, who was Narcissus?
Luke: I’m gathering Narcissus was some sort of sick dude who was obviously extremely vain. However, such were his good looks, his vanity was warranted.
Describe your narcissistic tendencies. How often do you catch yourself mesmerised by your reflection in a glass window, for instance?
I get it from my dad. He’s always been a super photogenic guy and I get my tendencies to check myself out frequently from growing up with him. I just dig buying good threads. I dig hanging out with healthy people and I want to reap the benefits of the hard work I put in.
A hypothetical scenario you can relate to. You and your old boy (shaper and pop culture icon Shane Stedman) are walking along the street when suddenly a curb-toroof mirror appears in a shop window. What is your reaction?
It’d have to be a huge mirror because I’m about four foot taller than my dad. We’d check ourselves out and I’d put my elbow on his head and make fun of him. We’d have a lot of fun.
You and your equally vain pop have dropped a wad of money into the start-up skin-care brand Vertra, a move clearly motivated by the desire to prolong your looks.
I’m in the sun 24/7 and anything to slow down the ageing process has to be a good thing, vain or not. Vertra’s all about good sunscreen, after-sun care, face scrub, about maintaining what you have. I don’t think anyone wants to lose it. Everyone wants to hang onto their looks for as long as they can. And I’m going to try damn hard.