O’Neill’s New Trunks Are The Best Kind Of Hydro

Hydro’s not normally my thing. I love to ease the chronic pain, anxiety, insomnia and all the rest of it, sure, but I also value my brain cells.

I’m for Legalising It, but harbour serious doubts about what’s growing under lights in California, especially after sampling a little ‘medical’ herb from an orange pill bottle that’d made its way into the UK: hello zombie apocalypse!

Keep it bush, keep it organic – that’s my motto. Anyway, we’re not here to discuss the increasingly socially acceptable wunderplant, we’re here to discuss boardshorts. In particular, the fresh-off the (laser) cutting board O’Neill Hyperfreak Hydro’s.

Those who’ve seen this in the flesh won’t forget it in a hurry.

I’ve got a soft spot for O’Neill because they didn’t invent their heritage, and because they make such good wetsuits. I’ve got a 4/3 SuperHyperSomething—stuffed in the board bag that’s currently propped up against the wall of my Santiago hostel room—that’s honestly the finest piece of rubber I’ve ever climbed into. I’ve also got a soft spot for Jordy Smith because he was nice to me in Hawaii one time, and then put on the most impressive display of surfing (4ft Rocky Point: wow!) I’ve ever seen in the flesh. Therefore, we’re going to brush over the colour way, and focus on the tech.

These natty trunks are the first pair ever with O’Neill’s patent ‘no tie fly.’ Santa Cruz’s finest have come up with a neat hook and loop design that eliminates the need for a drawstring. String’s look Greg-Noll-cool, but they’re not the comfiest things to lie on when you’re in the drink for some time, and the Hydro’s have a ‘velcro-like’ adjustment system for those of us in-between sizes. They’re laser-cut, which, as much as it’s fun to talk shit on techy shorts, always yields clean hems. If all that wasn’t enough, they’re also made from (hey, you’ve got to call it something) ‘Hyperdry Plus,’ meaning they flash dry. As much as I love a pair of heavy cotton trunks, waiting three days for the things to dry is a total pain, especially if you’re on the road.

Whilst they might not prompt the fashion-forward among you to go reaching for the purse, if you’re after a solid pair of trunks that allow you to surf your best surf, then look no further. Seems like they work for Jordy (lol).

Slide into a fresh pair, in here.