MF Softboards Win SITD, The Overestimation Of Youth, And John Florence’s New Surfboard

I love secret spots. But finding a secret spot is like picking up a hot girl at a bar. They’re real hard to find and when you do find one, you end up telling all your mates about it.

Then, just when you think you’re the only one that’s ever had the pleasure of riding it, your stomach sinks as you check Instagram and see pics of your loved one being posted by a wide range of pros and even worse, free surfers.

The point of the story is, leave the chicks and good waves to the pro’s, they evidently don’t get enough of either.

Now to the Greenroom.

While Mick officially announced the (Spoiler Alert) Channel Islands Fever as his favourite board in the Stab In The Dark quiver, the unofficial winner was declared to lesser fanfare. 

Mick chose a board that is super close to his heart – and no not a DHD Ducks Nuts – the MF Shortboards “Little Marley”.

The board which Mick describes as “short, wide, fast and fun” was surprisingly chosen as the favourite sled in the board test when it was not only not 5’10” and a half like the specified dimensions, it wasn’t even in the board test to begin with.

It’s unsure how the softboard made it into the test lab (aka Mick’s board bag) or how it could outperform Channel Islands, Pukas, DHD and other high performance blade shapers, but Mick can make anything look good.

“But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

If yearning for 8ft Cloudbreak barrels is wrong, then I don’t ever want to be right.

A 31 year old delusional man has today described to his mates how the surf was always bigger when he was kid – forgetting he has grown a couple of feet in the last 20 years.

“Remember when we were younger, it was always over head” said the moron.

“The banks were way better and we would always get big swells in the middle of summer every year.”

In addition, the school holidays, the occasional early and weekends also seemed to be the best times to surf. Something which may have had something to do with that being the only time the local moron could ever surf. 

Following the success of the Dane Reynolds x Channel Islands “Neckbeard” model, John John Florence has released his own facial hair inspired model, The Bum Fluff.

While Danes model was named after Shane Beschens stubble from the 90’s, John’s inspiration came after seeing his 4 week, patchy face pubes in a selfie he had taken recently.

Talking board characteristics of The Bum Fluff with the shaper John Pyzel, he describes the bottom contours as a single to double concave, similar to that of John Johns goatee.

The World Surf League has today announced that from 2019, the commentators will also be judged on their performance, with the lowest ranking commentator going back onto the WQS tour and the highest ranked QS announcer to rise up to the CT ranks.

The commentators will be judged in a similar fashion to the surfers, using Speed, Power and Flow as the main criteria, with repetition, wrong word choice and failure to finish off a sentence set as the biggest point deductions.

The WSL aim to push innovative and progressive commentating to new heights in 2019, taking surfing to where it’s never been before.