John John Florence and two girls walk into a hotel room

Words by Lucas Townsend | BTS shots by Quang Le At a time when the sun warmed the streets of California, Stab invited John John Florence to photograph two beautiful models in a San Clemente hotel room. We were going to interview him about five women he’s loved and learn about the heartbreak, the tears, the travesty that even the world’s best surfer can’t avoid. Then Kelly Slater landed the first frontside 540. And John John was one heat away from becoming the involuntary host of (and contender in) a world title showdown. And other such real life things happened. And all of a sudden John John’s iPhone lost its functionality for exactly five whole days. So instead, we spoke with Brooke, the brunette you see here, who was almost too busy to speak with us as well, as you’ll read below. Brooke: Hey, I’m just shopping for a pineapple. – Can you hold this? I’m going to pick one. We just wanted some good pineapple. – Oh, that one’s good. Yeah, so what’s up? Stab: The shoot. How was the shoot? It was pretty fun actually. We just rolled a couple of joints and hung out. Set some kind of scene. Paint us a word picture. We were in San Clemente, which is kind of a mi-s-s-i-o-n. I drove from Ventura, so, yeah, it was a couple of counties away. They gave me gas money, so it was fine. I was happy. Do you know why that blonde-haired kid was taking photos of you? John John? Yeah, totally, he’s a surfer. And what was it about the world’s most fabulous surfer that most impressed upon you? Oh, he’s chilled. We’re both from North Shore, so we got on great. He went to school with my little sister, too. So we had a lot to talk about. Oh, you were North Shore pals? I didn’t really, like, know him, but I’d surfed with him before when we were both growing up there. We have all the same friends, as well. Did you make him nervous? I imagine it is your forte to make men nervous. I wouldn’t say he was nervous, but maybe a little apprehensive. He was really sweet. He doesn’t really have, you know, the experience of shooting girls. You know what I mean? Which is totally fine, I’ve been doing it for a long time. I don’t need someone directing me. He was totally chill. And his attire. Did he dress to impress? I dunno, he was just dressed like a normal dude. Yeah, he’s just a normal kid. What about his fabulous hair? I don’t even remember. Sharp, it was pretty sharp – I think. Was he punctual? Surfers are notorious for their lack of punctuality. John was there from the start – – Hey, how are you? Just these, thanks. Sorry I’m like, at the supermarket. Did John John need directing? Or did he take charge of the photoshoot? No, he just did his thing. He got more and more comfortable as it went on. And who was your charming friend? – Thank you Dang, I don’t even remember her name. She was really sweet. She was a bit younger and was new to modelling. She was really, really cute though. She was a little bit reserved but I’m used to working with younger girls, anyway. How old are you? How old am I?…. I’m 25. How old was she? I think she was 19. She’d just do her thing, then I’d do my thing. And we’d just make it work. And what, exactly, are you going to do with that pineapple? I’m going to go back to my house in Ventura, frolic on the beach and put some chilli powder on my pineapple and eat it. Chilli powder? On your pineapple? It’s pretty good, you should try it. It’s quite ridiculous, it’s really good though. I highly appreciate your time. F’sure. Sorry I didn’t have the best answers for you. You were very friendly. I mean, you were shopping at the supermarket for pineapples while talking to me about John John Florence, which is just fine. Okay? Well, thanks. Yes, yes, goodbye.