Stab Magazine | Is It Ever Ok To Boogie Board?

Watch 'Wildcard: The Moana Jones-Wong Story'


Is It Ever Ok To Boogie Board?

The Intern’s dirty little secret.

style // Sep 10, 2020
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Don’t tell anyone. Seriously, I haven’t even told my parents yet. I’ve been boogie boarding. Not just once or twice. I’ve been getting my oddly hairy tummy rashed up almost everyday. With my friends, by myself. Mornings. Afternoons. Evenings. Sometimes I even go for two sessions in one day. I can’t stop. My buddy Coco and I invested our $26.99 at the local drug store, and haven’t looked back since.

I could give endless excuses. North Florida’s flat summer. The fact that waves triple in size when you’re laying down. The terrible sandbar out front. All of these could bail me out of my despicable actions. I could beg for the respect of hardcore sarfers, but I have no shame for what I have been doing. 

Booging is fun. Like unmistakably fun. Dropping in late, packing closeouts, not having to worry about getting clocked in the head by pointy fiberglass. It’s waist high anyway, I’d rather boog then force a graceless turn in a two-foot section. I’m not ready to sell the quiver just yet, but damn is it refreshing to take a break. Sure we can smile and say we surf for fun, but for most of us, progression is enticing. Surfing’s slow learning curve taunts us with the resemblance of a rodeo clown. We all want to become better surfers. For our ego, for the girl we’re trying to impress, for our unrelenting and unreachable QS dreams.

Tip from an idiot: take a step down. Tuck your lil clackers between your legs. Go drag em in your local shore break. With something simple like boogie boarding, it’s hard to get frustrated. It’s too silly. It gets you back to the roots. Pure love for riding waves. 

Not to mention, it’s helpful. Builds wave IQ. The best surfers are smart. Like really fucking smart. It’s what makes them so good. Look at their eyes. They’re way down the line, reading the wave, and reacting accordingly. Swell starved dummies like me might benefit from a “theoretical” head high wave. Should I sit high in the pocket? Should I swing my bottom turn out wide and shed some speed? A lower perspective turns an unsurfable break into a Ted Talk, if you’re willing to swallow your pride and leave the groveler at home.

The whole “Boogie boarding is for kooks” stigma is absurd. Let the testosterone-filled super locals chirp at you for dick dragging. Who fucking cares? Be courteous, drag hard, and pack some heavy ones. Anyone willing to vocalize their complaints about your wave riding vessel is a certified mouth-breather. Your local hard ass definitely wouldn’t bother Chippa, Creed, or any of those nutty cunce at Drag Board Co.

So go ahead. Tell them. Tell my parents. Tell all my friends. I boog. I boog hard. I boog fast. These clackers we’re made for dragging.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

“I Could Do Reels And Surf Two Foot Beachies And Hoard Cash But That’s Moral Suicide”

Noa Deane’s thoughts on money, media, airs in glassy waves and more.

Dec 7, 2022

Wildcard: The Moana Jones-Wong Story

The rise and rise of Mrs. Pipeline.

Dec 6, 2022

Watch: Torrey Meister’s Gunslinging SEOTY Entry

"Bull-riding is such a great warmup for surfing big waves."

Dec 6, 2022

Guess Who Else Just Got Invited To The Vans Pipe Masters

3 more withdrawals, and 3 more exciting replacements.

Dec 6, 2022


‘Buying Double Cheeseburgers, Acting Like He’s Hit Some Sections Today’

RAGE 400 drops ft Noz, Chun, Creed, Vinny, Jel, Wado + others!

Dec 5, 2022

What’s Happening To Orange County’s Sand, And Is It Worsening The Waves At Lowers?

Read this to upgrade your understanding of your local beach break and coastal environment.

Dec 5, 2022

Here Are The 15 People Who Qualified For The 2023 CT

After seven events and much groveling, 10 men and 5 women will officially be CT…

Dec 3, 2022

An Ode To Aussie Chick Pros From The Nineties 

A celebration of stoicism, resilience, grit, core lordship, and unconditional love.

Dec 3, 2022

Update: John John Flushes Everyone Down The Haleiwa Toilet Bowl

And the CT qualifications for 2023 are set.

Dec 3, 2022


Riaru Ito Is Cooler Than His Cucumber Garden

Meet our passion pick for the Vans Pipe Masters.

Dec 2, 2022

5 New Surfers Confirmed For The Vans Pipe Masters

Who's out, who's in?

Dec 2, 2022

Unlocked: Kael Walsh, Rolo Montes, And Al Cleland Jr In ‘Saturn’

Quik’s new 20-minute surf film is so good you’ll want to burn a DVD of…

Dec 2, 2022

How Surfers Get Paid, Episode 4

The energy drinks are here. They’ve got millions of dollars, and they want your head.

Dec 2, 2022

‘Saturn’ Orbits Into Southern California

Quiksilver's newest film made landfall in Encinitas, and we were there to document the occasion.

Dec 1, 2022

The Vans Triple Crown Of Surfing Returns In 2023

Can anyone beat John Florence and Carissa Moore in a three-week window?

Dec 1, 2022

What Will Airs Look Like In 10 Years?

The final installment of our editorial exploration into the nuances of airborne surfing.

Dec 1, 2022


Can A South African Cavern Queen With No Pipeline Experience Do Well At The Vans Pipe Masters?

Sophie Bell will have a steep learning curve in Hawaii.

Nov 30, 2022

After Years Of Tragic Shark Attacks, Surf Competition Returns To Reunion Island — And A CT Event Could Follow

"We compete at J-Bay and Margarets where there's the same problem." -Johanne Defay

Nov 30, 2022