Goldilocks and Mike Gigliotti Walk Into A Bar

Combining a sturdy exterior with a soft interior and a nice, casual fit that isn’t too short or too long, these boardshorts are just right (kind of like Haz himself).

Product: Vans Harry Bryant Ever-Ride 19″ Boardshort

Price: $70

On the whole, these are just a good, solid pair of trunks. Upon first glance, I immediately fell in love with the straightforward design aesthetic of the boardies and, of course, the teenage skater in me swooned over the Mike Gigliotti graphic.

But it wasn’t until I took them for a spin that the hidden features, tech, and fabric really had me gushing. Zero inner thigh rub, thanks to the ultra-cushy hemline, and a little extra width in the design means they don’t grab or stick to the skin upon take-off or through maneuvers.

Flashy, who? Gaudy, what? These boardies are low-key so you won’t draw unwanted eyeballs (add blonde bowl cut, if desired). There’s even a hidden fly “clasp” in addition to the standard tie closure so you need not worry about your britches getting blasted off when copping sets on the head, or ripping too hard. Could, would, and will wear these as the daily driver.

X-Factors:

• A hidden hook behind laces on the fly creates a more secure closure.
• Bespoke Mike Gigliotti artwork, inspired by Haz’s South Oz travels and the characters he’s met along the way.
• The blend of durable, 100% recycled material with 2-way mechanical stretch is soft yet strong
• A rear patch pocket features button closure & hidden mesh gusset, allowing for secure storage and quick drainage.
• Check the checkerboard loop on the wearer’s front left waistband – it’s for your sunnies!
• A subtle key loop can be found on the wearer’s rear waistband. They really thought of everything.

Verdict: Simple on the outside with tons of hidden tech inside, plus a hit of Harry Bryant power.

See the rest of Stab’s Best Boardshorts & Swimwear of 2023, here.

Note: Garrett is 6’0, 170 lb., wearing size 32.