Frosted Tips: Who Wore It Best?
A deeply-rooted rivalry between Filipe Toledo, Italo Ferreira, and Gabriel Medina – numbers 2, 3, and 4 on the Championship Tour respectively – has reared its very bleached head.
The 2018 World Title Race is an absolute head-scratcher, with a broken-winged Aussie in the front and three eager Brazilians (plus one Panda) nipping at his feathers.
It’s still anyone’s game, numbers-wise, but frankly I don’t believe Julian will be able to maintain the lead all the way through Pipeline. Historically he’s a bit of a choke artist, and to be frank again, Julian hasn’t been surfing on the same level as guys like Italo and Filipe this season… or ever. [Note: Michael may be born in the land of cheese pizza and carrot-top Presidents, but he’s a Brazilian at heart]
Realistically, I think we’re looking at a three-horse race for the Title between Italo, Filipe, and Gabriel. And wouldn’t that be marvellous – three of the world’s most exciting surfers fighting tooth, nail, and hair for world supremacy?
Yes, I said hair.
As Stab has recently learned via the almost-news aggregator Instagram, first Italo, then Gabriel Medina have bleached the tops of their naturally-dark manes to create a whitish-yellow hue.
They have frosted their tips, folks.
Based on the timeline – wherein Italo dyed his hair sometime around June 13th and Gabriel closer to June 26th – one might be inclined to believe that Gabriel performed this unholy act this to get in Italo’s head prior to the J-Bay event.
However if we roll back the tape to 2017, you’ll recall that last year’s J-Bay Open champion, Filipe Toledo, put on his double-ooping performance while rocking the a full head of whities (that’s beard and all).
With this info in mind, I offer a separate theory:
Perhaps World Numbers 3 and 4 (Italo and Gab) have conspired to take down Number 2 (Filipe) via psycho-follicle warfare in order to clear their path toward the title. With Filipe out of the way, Gab and Italo would increase their chances of becoming 2018 World Champions by roughly 33%, which makes this alliance tactically savvy.
If they can get Filipe to fall out of J-Bay early, and with his 25th at Chopes a near-foregone conclusion, Gabby and Italo will only have to worry about each other during the home stretch.
Fucking brilliant gamesmanship from the goofies, if I do say so myself. Can’t wait to see if Filipe retaliates with a rat tail or flaming mohawk.
World Title conspiracies aside, the question still remains:
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