Stab Magazine | Comments Of The Week, Edition 70

And The Winners Of The Vans Triple Crown of Surfing Are... Watch The Pick-Up Episode 5, Presented by Vans, To Find Out


Comments Of The Week, Edition 70

Hell hath no fury like a scorned man with a keyboard.

style // Feb 1, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Here at Stab, we’re aware that our curated articles are a pilot light for the raging fire fueled by our passionate readers. But its summer baby! Bring on the heat! Like Dante before us, we love exploring the many variations of fiery affection so artfully poeticized by the common man in the drop-down section. Lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud, treachery; theres something for everyone! Here the hottest highlights of another week basking in the inferno.



10. Owen Wright Returns To Competition

“It would be nice to have a full sized human back on tour” — Mustard Tiger
“Jordy mate” — Azn Ando > Mustard Tiger



09. How To Make It In South America

“I’d charge too if the coke was 20 a bag in Aus” — Noa’s last dart



08. Here’s Why Zeke Lau Deserves His Place On Tour

“Wouldn’t it be great if he edged out Kanoa for the last spot on tour this year” — Mason Ho’s Ding Guy



07. The Death Of Surfing

“Good quality porn mags are on the decrease, too. Seriously gutted about “Kayak and Canoe”, though. It was the only mag out there that respected downhill goat boating.” — Ando’s Back Knee



06. Inside Bali’s Deadly Brand Of Mob Justice

“The WSL should adopt this policy for claiming anything under an 8.” — Mark R



05. 32 Year-Old Autistic Man Dies Surfing The Outer Banks

“STAB should be getting some sort of Nobel Peace prize from this comments section, good to see empathy and compassion isn’t completely extinct here.” — Noa’s last dart



04. Ryan Callinan Would Cut His Nipple Off For $600,000

“Cut it off for $600k, Jordy buys it for $400K = world title bonus without even being on tour.” — Nasty Goreng



03. Watch: How Team Weedmaps Won The Backdoor Shootout

“What the fuck is weed maps” — noadeanesmoustache
“you forgot?” — Larvell Jones > noadeanesmoustache
“Smoking weed has this effect.” — Quint > Larvell Jones



02. What It’s Like To Watch A Great White Bite Your Arm

“You think thats bad? I just got done for drinking in public on lennox headland. Thats a real fucking day ruiner.” — brendan huff



01. Teasing Yesterday’s Shorey At Seal Beach With Jordy Smith, Kolohe Andino And More

“Tomorrow you should do a story on their sinus infections.” — Cappy Goodtime


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