Stab Magazine | Comments Of The Week, Edition 69
663 Views

Comments Of The Week, Edition 69

Another week of dubious counseling, reviewed! 

style // Jan 20, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Stab would like to think of the comment section as the purest form of masochistic self-reflection. There’s nothing better than the infinite wisdom derived by the brusque observations of our most reprobate readers. Come on, pull up the psychiatrists’ couch and lets talk about our feelings. 

*

71

10. Facebook vs Kauai

“As if evicting native hawaiians wasn’t enough, he’s a fucking paddleboarder too” — On The Contrary

*

70

09. A Film About Laird Hamilton Goes To Sundance!

“Rumour has it that Laird wrote and recorded the soundtrack on a bongo drum he fashioned from the hide of a rare Colombian Long Nosed Armadillo (which he fought and killed).” — Barnacle Bill

*

69

08. An Unexpected Amount Of Aerial Surfing From Mick Fanning

“Be cool if he had a proper midlife crisis and started dropping black and white edits featuring him smoking, smashing car windows and sticking his middle finger up to the camera whilst sporting orthopaedic shoes and a bowl cut.” — Ando’s Back Knee > Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

*

68

07. Prez Obama’s Last Ditch Effort To Protect The Coast

“WTF!! The Obama fish has the same color of Trump!!” — brozzie

*

66

06. Cloudbreak Was Beautiful Yesterday

“Holy shit! Torren Martyn and Tyler Warren aren’t the same guy!?” — brozzie

*

65

05. Conner Coffin’s Pockets Deepen With The Curl

“Pretending to like bells penned into all Rip Curl contracts” — graham muschachos

“Everyone knows the whole point of the Bells comp is it gives you many, many hours of billy smoking time on the drive down.” — Dilma Rousseff’s Ghost > graham muschachos

*

64

04. An Unexpected Amount Of Aerial Surfing From Mick Fanning

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say it was more exciting than his usual surfing. Not better….but its exciting in the same way as it’s exciting when you turn forty, sell the house and wife, buy a womanly looking Porsche Boxster and a high rent Malaysian prostitute and spend the next two years experimenting with different hairstyles that involve 15 hairs and orange hair dye before someone tells you you’re having a midlife crisis.” — Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

*

63

03. Brad Flora Breaks Ankle, Hyperextends Toe, Breaks Both Arms And Gets Barreled In Portugal

“Watched the whole fucking video and saw none of those injuries, Stab you piece of shit” — Surf_the_Lakes

*

62

02. Comments Of The Week, Edition 68

“My mum cries if I say the word cunt in front of her but I reckon she would’ve chosen better comments than this. I’m certain you STAB boys only fuck missionary with the lights off. Little more vulgar next time please.” — Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

“Stab should do a COTW edition COTW that only has comments posted on COTW about how bad the COTW’s are” — stewie > Wiggolly’s Paddling Style

*

67

01. Must Watch: Mick Fanning Gets Philosophical (And Very Barrelled) In Ireland

“if i found mick fanning in bed with the missus, i’d tuck that legend in.” — norkies

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Why You Should Stop Watching Surf Videos*

Instagram reels and the twisted fantasy of the parasocial surfing life.

Feb 9, 2026

Breaking: Rogue Boat Plows Through Steamer Lane, Capsizes With Family Of Six Onboard

Stab writer Holden Trnka saves a kid, gives a first hand report.

Feb 8, 2026

Watch: How $13M And 70,000 Tons Of Granite Changed An Australian Surf Town Forever

A documentary on Midds Reef — the world's best artificial wave — by Rhys Jones.

Feb 7, 2026

Pipeline Was Really, Really Good Today

CT qualifications, countless nine point rides, Australian domination, and the journey of a local hero.

Feb 6, 2026

Why Chapter 11’s Doors Are Shut + Why Former’s Output Is About To Spike

Former drops teaser for upcoming feature, ‘Defect’, starring the entire frozen pea army.

Feb 5, 2026

Joyride: What’s In An Asymmetrical Surfboard?

An asymmetrical study of Lovelace's Zambal and Satellite models.

Feb 5, 2026

What Happens When The Best Surfer On Earth Leaves The Tour?

The second order effect of John John's departure.

Feb 4, 2026

Velvet Pipeline And Nine Point Faceplants

A CT qualification update from the North Shore.

Feb 3, 2026

“It’s Louder Than An Atomic Bomb. If You Were Anywhere Near It, Your Head Would Explode.”

The Southern Ocean is now open for international pillaging.

Feb 2, 2026

“They Don’t Call It The Challenger Series For Nothing”

Local excellence and universal beatdowns on Day Two of the Pipe Challenger.

Feb 1, 2026

How Billy Kemper Convinced The WSL (And The Mayor) To Have Locals In The Pipe Challenger

And more musings from the ground here on the North Shore.

Jan 31, 2026

Exclusive Interview: Why John Florence Put The CT On Indefinite Pause

"The tour has a cap. I want to find a space where everything grows bigger."

Jan 29, 2026

Is Firing Pipeline Too Much To Ask For?

The inaugural Pipeline Challenger event starts in 24 hours. And we're en route.

Jan 28, 2026

Watch: Episode 02 of Stab In The Dark X Starring Kelly Slater

Are we all ordering five fin setups now?

Jan 28, 2026

Breaking: John John Florence Will NOT Be Surfing On The 2026 Championship Tour

Is this it?

Jan 27, 2026

Why William Aliotti Picked Up The Bong

Europe's premier freesurfer on leaving Volcom after 15 years and joining Billabong.

Jan 26, 2026

Here’s Why We Included A Wildcard In Stab In The Dark X 

The Mann among men.

Jan 23, 2026

Watch: Only The Best Waves From EAST With Mikey February

11 minutes of star-studded velvet.

Jan 23, 2026
Advertisement