A $1200 Board Bag That’s Totally Worth It

Status symbols baffle me. Choosing to celebrate your affluence by purchasing something that puts you in league with every other John that’s earned, borrowed, stolen or inherited their capital is insecurity to the point of sickness. Everyone that’s bought a Range Rover post 2010, I’m looking at you (and don’t even get me started on the desperate fools currently leasing one). But we’re not here to talk about Range Rovers, we’re here to talk about something just as pretentious: Louis Vuitton luggage.

Now I’d usually put LV luggage in the same bracket as Ranges: crass new money. But this isn’t regular LV luggage, this is board bags. Two to be exact, both extremely limited-edition, one decorated with Louis Vuitton’s signature Monogram Canvas and the other in the multicolour Monogram. 

Like Burberry, Louis Vuitton has been adopted by those for whom it was not intended, and counterfeits are everywhere. The trademark Monogram pattern’s been around since 1888, but once clutches draped in it became the must-have accessory to every two-buck reality TV star in the noughties, owning LV luggage became a grotesque statement. Perhaps now enough time has passed to give Louis another chance, particularly if he’s going to be keeping your prized craft from harm.

The two cases for sale are in the San Diego region, but the host is willing to ship. There’s some big calls in the blurb including, “Probably the ONLY two LV Surfboard Bags like this in the world, since fake surfboard bags were never produced.” You’d be bold to wager against there being a knock-off board bag stall set up in some obscure third world market, but a quick burn around eBay, Grailed etc. reveals that LV board bags are rare enough. The author goes on to claim that, “everybody loves them,” which seems a little desperate, and states that, “I think these could be worth almost anything.” By which he obviously means $1200 a piece, as that’s the price listed. We can’t vouch for the authenticity of these two cases in the slightest, but we can endorse the fabulous practicality of the single craft slip. Also, one thing that we can absolutely guarantee, is that dragging one of these through the airport will make you look and feel awesome, and turn heads as you stroll past the plebs to priority.

Is it fake? Is it not fake? Is it an ironic statement as to the misalignment of surfing and high-fashion? All questions running through the heads of those nervously waiting in line. Owning something rare, casting intrigue over all around you? Now there’s a worthwhile cause for burning cash.

Get bidding.