Stab Magazine | 5 Things I’ll Probably Impulse Buy

Watch: The Electric Acid Surfboard Test, Starring Shaun Manners


5 Things I’ll Probably Impulse Buy

The next time I’m near a computer and have had too much to drink.

style // Jun 7, 2017
Words by Kevin Jansen
Reading Time: 3 minutes

1. Sea Sick Surf Shark Repellent Booties €65 or $73.14 USD
Sometimes you go down the online rabbit hole and end up uncovering things you weren’t aware of. Like, I just found out they surf in Holland. They even have surf shops. I don’t think they have sharks in Holland. At least not any that you need to worry about. But, that didn’t stop Dutch surf shop, Sea Sick Surf, from making possibly the most useful piece of shark repellent equipment on the market to date.


Deer Decoy

The best pets you don’t have to feed.

2. Flambeau Boss Buck Deer Decoy $159.99
For some time I’ve wanted to go on a surf trip to Canada. Ever since I saw Raph Bruhwiler’s Innersection part in which he gets barreled then goes hunting and shoots a deer. Because of that, now I’m stuck with the idea that a Canada surf trip is incomplete without a hunt. This is my first attempt at piecing together my kit for hunting. Even if I never go on that trip I’ll have a pet deer.


Screen Shot 2017 06 06 at 13.04.44 PM

Good for seal impressions in Southern California.

3. DaFin Fins $65.95
I think I would enjoy surfing more if I became one with the sea. And try to have a spiritual experience that Dave Rastovich would be proud of. Bodysurfing will probably help with that, I guess. And sometimes you just need a reason to go to the beach and float around in the ocean.


Kodak Waterproof Camera

An easy way to keep your nudes off the internet.

4. Kodak Water Proof Disposable Camera $9.99
Remember how much fun you used to have trading off with friends trying to get the best photos possible of each other’s surfing? There was nowhere online to post it. It only existed to the people you knew in real life. Which at 12 years old is not many. It’s a stark contrast to the overly edited, crisp photos that flood the internet now. These photos are full of flaws and the camera’s cheap, kind of like my life.


Still Filthy DVD

Where’d Sterling Spencer go?

5. Still Filthy Surf Movie $29.95
Do you ever drink then get emotional about something you remember? That’s what happened when I pulled my Still Filthy DVD from the shelf a few beers past gone. It’s the first surf movie I owned as a kid (I’m not that old). Andy Irons and Shane Dorian had parts that made me come to terms with the fact that I would never have a career as a pro surfer. There is one turn during Andy’s part where he does a roundhouse and as he cuts back the board slides sideways before catching and hitting the white water. Part of me didn’t want to watch the movie again for fear of my childhood memory being crushed if that turn isn’t everything I remembered.

p.s. I did. And, it was (the turn is at 2:40).


BONUS: R Kelly Pee In Your Wetsuit Stickers $priceless
I’m not sure if you can buy these, but it’s worth sending The Surf Cult a direct message and asking for some. I did, they sent them. Plus, don’t you want people to know that you’re in tune with surfing and the dark side of pop culture?


Surf Cult Sticker

“Your legs in the air, my hands all off up in your cookie jar.” – R. Kelly


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