Stab Magazine | These Idiots Broke A $10,000 Surfboard Just To See What Was Inside
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These Idiots Broke A $10,000 Surfboard Just To See What Was Inside

Spoiler: it was foam. 

cinema // Feb 10, 2019
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

In 2018, Elon Musk’s brainchild, Tesla – the electric car manufacturer, spaceship-maker, and most impressive non-profiting business of the 21st century – decided to release a small batch of surfboards.

One-hundred to be exact. 

And despite all the incredible minds and 3D-printing tools at Tesla’s disposal, they made the decision of contacting an expert surfboard shaper to design and manufacture the crafts.

Of all the big names in the foam world – and we can’t imagine a single one of them would have turned down this offer – Tesla landed on …Lost’s Matthew ‘Mayhem’ Biolos to do the honors.

So Mayhem shaped 100 boards (for what we’d hope was a tidy sum) and presumably sent them back to Tesla to do whatever new-age, spacey stuff they wanted to do with them before putting them on the market.

 

600725 tesla surfboard

The next time your mate says his board is, “Like a rocket ship,” just tell him, “Nah.”

 

Then the boards went up for purchase, and like that they were gone. 

$1,500 a pop is egregious in the surf world, but if in terms of its memorabilia value the Tesla board was ridiculously low-balled, leading to its instantaneous sell-out. 

Buyers should be feeling quite good about that purchase, too, as the Tesla board is now selling for $10,000 on Ebay. Talk about an investment – that’s nearly 10x in less than a year!

And, much to 99 of the original purchasers’ joy, the value of their investment has again increased, thanks to the idiots in the video above who broke one in half just to see what was inside. 

To be fair, the main culprit didn’t have a momentary lapse in judgment leading to this unfortunate result – being the creator of Youtube Channel What’s Inside?, which boasts 6.5 million subscribers, it’s actually his job to snap, saw, and sever things in two.  

For this video, What’s Inside? paid $4,500 for the Tesla board, meaning that in order to turn a profit, they have to be making more (and probably substantially more) than that from endorsements and Youtube ad revenue. 

Just nine hours after its publication, the Tesla video has 190k views, which gives you an idea of What’s Inside?‘s reach. 

But that still doesn’t make him not an idiot, as the board-breaking revealed not a revoutionary space compounf or secret battery source, but rather *gasp* EPS foam wrapped in carbon fiber, paint, and a 4 oz. layer of fiberglass. 

A prototypical surfboard, if you will, all of which leads to one inevitable truth: Mayhem is a fucking genius, perhaps on par with Elon Musk. 

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