Snaketales Is Back And Everyone’s In It

Jake Paterson is much to blame for pro surfers getting unsolicited interactions in the wild, with fans addressing them as if they’d had previous history together.

A former CTer himself, Snake — a coach, confidant, mentor, sunscreen caddy, and documentarian — has AAA access to the tour and its orbit in a way many within the WSL don’t.

There was a time when the mythology of the tour arrived in print, two months after event winners were crowned. Whether it was a small behind-the-scenes snippet in the shape of a photograph and accompanying caption, a rumour, or bit of gossip tucked into the comp report, these gave top surfers a smidge of mortality and relatability.

Having Snaketales is now the closest thing to being part of the entourage.

Thanks to his personable approach, guards stay down and actual personalities come to the fore. It’s reassuring that no matter how much they try to professionalise it, this world of ours is still made up of forever children in their wetsuits.

A Brief Table of Contents:

• Al Cleland Jr.’s Parking Lot School of Economics, and how the tour has aged him
• What Steph is riding (in and out of the water)
• Why Kanoa Igarashi stretches a new legrope before baptising it
• Stephanie Gilmore reveals the truth behind the 88, at last
• Unheard details from Ramzi Boukhiam’s corrective surgery following his injury at Bells last year
• Doug Silva can’t be a real person
• Some (very limited) filming at the WSL Awards. Draw your own conclusions
• Erin Brooks explains the 17 on her back
• Kanoa dissects Kelly at Trestles in Kelly Slater in Black and White and goes full betonline.ag with Snake (with Kelly ending up as the bookie). Not the only betting content in this episode
• A rare DH-shaped prone board that goes
• All the female world champs in one place
• A cameo from a Greg Webber EAST-worthy quad for Harry “88” Henderson
• Easter eggs, for everyone
• Kanoa on the mythology of his own 50
• Live, unedited commentary during his pupil’s waves
• Al Cleland Jr. meets his doppelgänger
• A good chunk of freesurfing around the comp
• Plenty more

Prime surf entertainment.