Report: Joao Chianca Is Not Here To F*ck Spiders - Stab Mag
551 Views
No arachnoids here. Photo by WSL/Heff

Report: Joao Chianca Is Not Here To F*ck Spiders

Watch the CT rookie’s standout performance on the rock this winter.

cinema // Mar 21, 2022
Words by Ethan Davis
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Joao Chianca went huge at Pipe this season. In his first CT heat ever he drew John, in his backyard, and nearly pipped him with a psycho no-grab backside tube ride that he threaded from deep reminiscent of Bruce Irons. “He’s a supreme tuberider,” warned Leandro Dora ahead of the contest. “And he charges too, so he’s got a good chance at places like Pipe, Chopes, and The Box, for example. If he can keep his cool and surf the way he usually surfs, he’ll surprise a lot of people.”

Chumbinho’s style is refreshingly unpredictable and raw — beautiful to watch in waves of power. “His surfing has a poetic savagery, a là Chris Davidson or Dane Reynolds,” explains Julio Adler, former pro and one of Brazil’s surf media greats. In his round 3 heat, Joao took down Jack Robbo, a fellow Stone rider whose name also belongs in the conversation for one of the best at Banzai. 

Joao’s win saw him advance into the round of 16 and meet up again with none other than… John Florence again. Joao fetched a 16.74 heat total to John’s 17.77 and subsequently fell out of the mix, but not before dropping a 9.87 for one of the best waves of the event – A screaming late drop to butt drag to hands-free stand-up cathedral that blew him into the channel right in front of the 2x World Champ. Joao would’ve won any other heat in that round bar Kelly’s last second GOAT magic he pulled in his heat against Barron Mamiya. 

Joao currently finds himself in #23, three spots outside the mid-year cutoff. Bells and Chumbo don’t scream a match made in heaven, but Chumbinho at the Box or North Point? Ooft. There could be sparks. Let’s hope he can scrape it over the mid-season line for some tube piggery at G-land and Teahupoo.

This clip is a collection of Joao out the front of the Volcom house during his time on the rock. “We tried to do it as raw as possible. Good surfing, no slow mo and old school rap on the tracks,” says filmmaker Bruno Zanin. To which we responded ‘Oath. Good recipe.’

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Watch: Dane Reynolds Quizzes The Reigning World Champ | StabMic Episode 02

Yago Dora on his title year, the Volcom x Dad split, EAST over SITD, CT…

Feb 19, 2026

What I Learned Shooting Stab in the Dark with Kelly Slater

These innocuous observations from 11 days working with the greatest surfer of all time. 

Feb 18, 2026

Why Aren’t There More European Freesurfers?

Charly Quivront's new film, 'Who Is Charly?,' helps explain it.

Feb 18, 2026

Ferrari Boyz: Mikey Wright’s Apocalypse-Proof Ram 3500 Mega Cab

A daily driver with a 9-ton towing capacity.

Feb 17, 2026

Kurt Van Dyke, Renowned Californian Surfer, Brutally Murdered in Costa Rica

The 66-year-old was discovered under his bed with multiple stab wounds and a knife nearby.

Feb 17, 2026

Rebuttal: Never Stop Watching Surf Movies 

Social media makes us anxious and depressed. Surf content does not.

Feb 16, 2026

How Italo Ferreira Bought His Way Into Nike, The Reality Of Fatherhood, And Embracing Global Scrutiny

The Stab Interview with the most sleep-deprived man in surfing.

Feb 13, 2026

Will A GOAT Bite On Gnaraloo’s $17 Million Price Tag?

World Champs and Hollywood circle a red-dirt kingdom that can never truly be owned.

Feb 13, 2026

Dane Reynolds On His Favorite Surfer, Storytelling Through Surf Media, And Releasing Former’s New Film

Our first official episode of StabMic is live. 

Feb 12, 2026

Watch: Episode 03 of Stab In The Dark X Starring Kelly Slater

The untold story behind the GOAT’s split from CI + a three-layer wax cake theory.

Feb 11, 2026

Why You Should Stop Watching Surf Videos*

Instagram reels and the twisted fantasy of the parasocial surfing life.

Feb 9, 2026

Breaking: Rogue Boat Plows Through Steamer Lane, Capsizes With Family Of Six Onboard

Stab writer Holden Trnka saves a kid, gives a first hand report.

Feb 8, 2026

Watch: How $13M And 70,000 Tons Of Granite Changed An Australian Surf Town Forever

A documentary on Midds Reef — the world's best artificial wave — by Rhys Jones.

Feb 7, 2026

Pipeline Was Really, Really Good Today

CT qualifications, countless nine point rides, Australian domination, and the journey of a local hero.

Feb 6, 2026

Why Chapter 11’s Doors Are Shut + Why Former’s Output Is About To Spike

Former drops teaser for upcoming feature, ‘Defect’, starring the entire frozen pea army.

Feb 5, 2026

Joyride: What’s In An Asymmetrical Surfboard?

An asymmetrical study of Lovelace's Zambal and Satellite models.

Feb 5, 2026

What Happens When The Best Surfer On Earth Leaves The Tour?

The second order effect of John John's departure.

Feb 4, 2026

Velvet Pipeline And Nine Point Faceplants

A CT qualification update from the North Shore.

Feb 3, 2026
Advertisement