No One Turns A Surfboard Like This

A few months back, you may have witnessed the most elegant violence ever inflicted on the Bells Bowl. It lasted about thirty minutes, give or take.

But in it: something awful and perfect. Ethan Ewing doing turns on a surfboard. 

“The bar has been set, Leroy,” said Snake Patterson, as Leo Fioravanti waltzed up the Bells stairs.
“Best surfing ever done at the Bowl — that’s what I’m hearing,” said Vaughan Blakey.

Then, gone. Eliminated in the very next heat. Dusted with two 17ths to follow. The spell broke.

Where go, best rail surfing the eyes can see?

Go right here, in the clip above. 

It’s hard to picture anyone moving more precisely, while also dishing out this much damage. A thousand-year-old ninja disguised as the Fabio of Stradbroke Island. Above, EE infiltrates Snapper Rocks, the whole heist captured and cut by Dan Scott. 

If the lord ever laid a hand on you, you’ll feel it here. If not, this might be the closest you’ll get.