Did Steph Gilmore Just Put A Picklefork In The Hopes Of A CT Comeback?

“All my life I’ve surfed with one major purpose — to go fast, with fierceness and with style. That was my purpose.”

Steph Gilmore won eight world titles by following this formula, and now she’s unshackled. Lazer Breathing Dragons is her first dive into what will likely be many post-tour Search expeditions, following her recent eight-year, multi-million dollar signing with the visionaries behind the exploratory concept. Now, for 14-and-a-half minutes, she indulges in tropical debauchery with Tom Curren and Mason Ho.

The film opens with shades of Apocalypse Now — a boat cutting through a tropical river in Southeast Asia, a scruffy crew on a mission handed down by office men at a desk, oblivious to what’s unfolding on the ground. Rip Curl pulling the strings from a boardroom, worlds away.

Look closer, and the parallels to the Heart of Darkness-inspired film start stacking up — if you squint hard enough. And for the hell of it, let’s squint, shall we? 

Among the boys, Steph stands out — the most powerful, stylish, and in command. She’s the captain of the ship, the Willard of this crew.

Mason’s the unhinged photojournalist — rambling incoherently, curious about everything, bound by nothing. He’s chaos wrapped in charm, and, in the end, the film’s most entertaining character. 

Sir Tom Curren is Marlon Brando’s Colonel Kurtz — once a decorated soldier in the ranks of pro surfing, now a rogue. A defector who tried to cut himself loose from the cause, but somehow, the more he drifts from the system, the more his legend grows.

“I’d love to come surf,” says a head-scarfed Tom Curren, channelling the strange evolution of a fashion trend now embraced by today’s youth. The headscarf — once condemned in the west as a symbol of oppression, now casually flaunted as a fashion accessory by those far removed from its cultural roots.

Interesting times, no doubt, but as always, Tom Curren finds himself accidentally on trend. He pauses, then adds, “But I’ve got to sell soup.” 

The sight of Tom Curren, a defected surf icon now slinging soup to make ends meet in rural Indonesia, feels absurd — until you remember the minds behind this film: the psychedelic-brained duo of Nick Pollet and Vaughan Blakey. Naturally, the film takes its expected dive into the mystical, strange tales, and endearingly awkward surfer-acting. It’s a return to form for the pair after their last project received a few subtle jabs of criticism.

Lazer Breathing Dragons, on the other hand, needs no hard sell — it features three of surfing’s most iconic figures: Steph, Mason, and Curren. What is left to want? 

“I don’t know what’s next for me, and I don’t know what’s next for my surfing,” Steph admits. The future might be uncertain, but the film feels like a homecoming for Steph. Like Captain Willard, her official mission is complete.