Kelly Slater, Darren Handley, Britt Merrick And More Walk Into An Overwhelmingly Crowded Surf Shop…

All photos by Ryan Heywood.

At the door: entropy. Human matter wedged in place, leaking out into the car park. 

Inside: heat. Damp breath. Skin on skin. No movement without setting off a full-body shudder across the crowd. Necks crane for air. Some climb their friends like furniture. Others resign themselves to forty-five minutes of intimate eye contact with a stranger’s scapula.

What drives people to gather like this?
Mass pychosis?
New-world prophecy?

No. Just a surfboard shaper meet-and-greet — and a few pros from the local comp. Anyone claiming surf fandom’s gone limp has clearly never been north of the Tweed. 

The shapers were in town for the Bon Soy Pro Gold Coast, possibly fitting a Stab In The Dark side-project into the cracks between. The night unfolded with a revolving door of guests — surfers, shapers, and a few surprises — like Darren Handley, Marcio from SharpEye, Jason Stevenson, Jack Robinson, Brisa Hennessy, Kanoa Igarashi, Julian Wilson, Isabella Nichols, Joao Chianca, Lakey Peterson, Britt Merrick, Daniel ‘Tomo’ Thomson, and, improbably, Kelly Slater. All of them were prodded, poked, and interrogated by Stace Galbraith, who appeared to be just as mystified as the crowd.

Slater, planted in the centre, surrounded by a forest of phones, transformed into a cryptic seer. He took the mic, looked the crowd dead in the eye, and announced that his boards were “ready,” he was “locked in,” and just waiting on a swell for a certain project — whatever that means. We have no idea. Couldn’t guess if we tried.  Must be something he’s working on later this year, but honestly, that’s just a stab in the dark.

Kirra Surf is a retail anomaly. A warehouse masquerading as a shop. To pack it full enough to induce hallucinations inside while spawning a street rave outside — that’s a damn good effort.