Stab Magazine | The Palos Verdes Dramas Are Not About Localism

Live Now — Episode 3 Of Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico

1020 Views

The Palos Verdes Dramas Are Not About Localism

Rory’s Rumblings: “Although kicking your board into someone’s back is easy to do.”

news // Dec 16, 2017
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Make no mistake, you are not welcome on the Palos Verdes Peninsula. 

Which is barely a problem, really. The drive is a hassle, the good waves rarely break. The culture is all spoiled-white-child-living-off-his-trust-fund-while-pretending-to-be-a-success. There’s very little reason to head up the hill, unless you’re one of the countless plebs who earns their living serving PV’s idle class. 

Still, it sticks in one’s craw, Lunada Bay’s insistence on exclusivity, a stone’s throw from LAX’s portal to the rest of the civilized world. The spoiled man-children want it both ways. Alone at home, free to travel as they wish.

There’s no better example than Alan “Jahlian” Johnston. A failed pro turned pseudo-artist trash picker, who glues garbage to itself, plays the enlightened vagabond on camera, retreats home to act the asshole.

Johnston was arrested last year for harassing Diana Milena Reed, a kookish SoCal actress. He was charged with a misdemeanor, the case was dismissed. Transcripts of the incident are public record

https://www.youtube.com/embed/v78kpAw7Z1o

I’m sure many will say it isn’t so bad. Someone being a jerk shouldn’t be a crime. But try leaving Lunada, heading up the hill, and treating a resident the same way. See how LAPD responds.

It’s all done in the name of preserving the “sanctity” of their little town. Keep it clean, keep it quiet. Keep out the outsiders. (Nothing worse than middle-income trash littering the lineup.)

It’s an ironic argument if you look hard enough. (And robbing local shops hardly keeps your community pure.) 

Minor status can keep your name out the paper, but public record process of elimination sheds light on transgressions. (Especially when multiple family members are joining you in court.)

Which isn’t to say things aren’t getting better. Michael Papayans, a defendant in the ongoing civil suit, earned a record for an assault at a Dodgers game. Not good look when you’re hoping to prove you don’t have a history of harassing strangers. 

The fort is gone. Pure schadenfreude, the loss of that little clubhouse. It doesn’t change our world for the better, but it’s always nice to see assholes stripped of something they love. 

Ditto with the civil suits and the unprosecuted crimes.

Yesterday, once again, the Los Angeles Prosecutor’s office declined to pursue a case against some PV residents

The 28-year-old surfer allegedly tried to spear a nonlocal in the face with her board on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, when outsiders surf the bay under the watch of police and demand access for all.

Palos Verdes Estates police presented their investigation to prosecutors earlier this year, but last week they decided not to charge the woman with misdemeanor battery due to lack of sufficient evidence.

According to the charge evaluation sheet, there was “not sufficient evidence to establish an intentional touching as opposed to an accidental touching or bumping with surfboard.”

Intentional drop-ins, endangering outsiders. Women who understandably want a spot to themselves. Apparently it’s hard to compete for waves when you are fairly inept at surfing. 

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vLg0wK3WYZU

It’s no surprise the case won’t move forward. How do you prove a drop-in intends to harm? Do we really want to set that precedent? It’s already enough that lawyers are so damn expensive. Defending yourself from an accusation is, in itself, a fairly decent punishment.

Though I wonder, is it enough? Should we maybe take note of these names, learn to assign faces to transgressions? Keep an eye out in the water, whether we’re in Hawaii, or Mexico, or the rest of the South Bay?

Maybe it’s best if we play by their rules. Feel free to burn Papayans and Johnston and Sang Lee and Brant Blakeman and the entire Ferrara clan. They have their own pie, we shouldn’t feel obligated to share a slice of our own.

It seems only fair to return tit for tat. The Palos Verdes story is not about localism. It is not about enforcing lineup etiquette, or pecking order. It is not about a small community coming into conflict with a massive influx of new faces. It’s about a longstanding tradition wherein a group of privileged white people demand a sanctuary while denying others the same courtesy.

Sit on them, back paddle them. Look them in the eye. Smile. Go.

If they feel like returning the favor, so what? Kicking your board into someone’s back is easy to do and, as we’ve now seen, there’s really no way to prove it was intentional.

(If you’re interested in reading court documents pertaining to the ongoing civil suit head here.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Matty McG Skydives Into CT Heat, But Jordy’s Still The Main Event

A full day of heats at J-Bay, and only one shark warning.

Jul 12, 2025

Correction: J-Bay All Foreplay, No Climax

Slim pickings on Day 1 of the Corona Cero Open J-Bay 2025.

Jul 11, 2025

What Do Hollywood, Surf Lessons, Michael Jackson And Traction Pads Have In Common?

A Stab Interview with Teva Dexter, the man behind surfing's hardest new hardware brand —…

Jul 10, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 3

"The tribe has spoken," Dane Reynolds pronounced, and a surfer's torch was snuffed.

Jul 10, 2025

How Josh Ku Nearly Died Trying To Cross From Ulus to G Land by Hydrofoil

“If someone finds me dead at least they can find my phone and know what…

Jul 10, 2025

Expect No Kiss, All Climax At The “World’s Most Perfect Pointbreak”

A Corona Cero Open J-Bay 2025 preview.

Jul 9, 2025

SEOTY: Liam O’Brien stars in ‘Friction of Perception’

"Hopefully I don’t come across like too much of a peanut."

Jul 8, 2025

10 Shapers To Watch In The Next 10 Years — Part One

“It’s like a drug empire, man. Cut the head off the snakes, and more will…

Jul 7, 2025

Mason Ho Joins Ritual Vision, Releases Remix Of Greatest Hits

Dion Agius riffs on the eyewear brand’s U.S. expansion, Ritualistic Tendencies, and the new stars…

Jul 7, 2025

Is It Time For A New Judging Format?

We have a modest proposal — a WSL head judge disagrees.

Jul 7, 2025

Luke Thompson Turns Last Year’s Priority Disaster Into Ballito Gold

+ earns himself a wildcard into Jbay.

Jul 7, 2025

Fiji Has Its First Professional Surfer, And He’s Unbelievable

16-year-old James Kusitino’s incomprehensible tube lounging leads to a deal with Former.

Jul 6, 2025

Laird Hamilton on The Limitations of Being a Purist, Invention vs. Ownership + Why He Never Had a Sticker Deal 

Untold stories from his How Surfers Get Paid interview.

Jul 4, 2025

When Surfer’s Eye Is Actually Cancer

Erin Campbell's brutal journey from surf camp dreams to chemo drops, cryotherapy, and surgical horror.

Jul 3, 2025

Surfing’s 2025 Q2 Report

An assessment of surfing's vital signs throughout the second quarter of 2025.

Jul 2, 2025

What Actually Happened to Occy’s Mad Max Plunger Pool In Yeppoon?

Surf Lakes’ brass talks: internet hecklers, the unplugging of the plunger, and the Tom Curren…

Jul 2, 2025

Poor Goofy Foots 

Data shows that the world is stacked against goofs — they even make 15% less money than…

Jul 1, 2025

Britain’s First Wavepool Has Closed — What Really Happened?

Bankruptcy, social media hackings, debts unpaid — and yet, reopening looms.

Jul 1, 2025
Advertisement