Supertubos Accused Of Violence While Angry Emojis Return To Professional Surfing

Contrary to popular belief, the tubes were not in fact super this morning.

They were difficult. Some would go so far as to call them violent — namely Conner Coffin in a post-heat interview. The opening day of the 2018 Meo Rip Curl Pro Portugal presented by the WSL brought to you by Jeep featured overhead waves and offshore-ish winds. It was almost good.

While there were a few gems to be lucked into, the ocean was mostly grumpy, which meant the WSL finally gave locals worldwide something they could relate to.

Speaking of which, today marked the broadcast’s triumphant return to Facebook live. And by triumphant, I mean glitchy. And by glitchy, I mean the stream completely collapsed for a chunk of Round 1, Heat 9. Cue the barrage of angry emojis that have become symbolic of surfing in 2018.

You weren’t sure if you were watching because you thought something interesting could happen at some point or if you liked imagining that you could beat a CT surfer in a heat (eight surfers posted heat totals of less than 5 points in Round 1).

Or maybe you weren’t watching at all. At any rate, here are some highlights.

World Title fever was the star of the day. While Julian and Gabriel won convincingly in Round 1, Filipe fell to Hermes. Unlike herpes, though, Round 1 losses don’t last forever and so Filipe redeemed himself in Round 2 when he refused to let Sammy Pupo break out.

There are six wildcard/injury replacement surfers in this event. Five of them lost in Round 2 today. The only survivor? Ryan Callinan, who won his Round 1 heat. This puts him a mere three heats wins away from officially getting complained about by the CT surfers whom he is continuously beating.

The highest scoring heat of the day featured Conner Coffin vs Griffin Colapinto and I guess Joan Duru was out there too. Griff got an 8.00. Conner got a 7.33 and backed it up. Joan got unlucky.

Kanoa Igarashi put up the highest heat total of the day — 14.77 points. He speaks like 17 languages but it’s starting to seem like he’s learning the language of success on the CT. And by that I mean he’s just fucking surfing better.  

Jesse Mendes’ jersey disappeared during the event, which has been a pretty common occurrence this year. He won the heat, though.

In the stoutest heat of all time, Wilian Cardoso beat Keanu Asing in Round 2. I wonder if there was a mutual understanding in the water — like a there can only be one short, stocky fella here at a time so one of us has gotta go type thing.

And that was pretty much all you need to see.

The forecast looks pretty good for the next few days. Here’s to hoping for less violence and more barrels, or vice versa.

MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal Round 1 Results:
Heat 1: Ryan Callinan (AUS) 9.53, Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 9.00, Owen Wright (AUS) 6.50 
Heat 2: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 9.73, Yago Dora (BRA) 5.57, Keanu Asing (HAW) 4.54
Heat 3: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 10.94, Frederico Morais (PRT) 6.20, Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 4.43
Heat 4: Julian Wilson (AUS) 14.50, Connor O’Leary (AUS) 12.00, Vasco Ribeiro (PRT) 9.47
Heat 5: Tomas Hermes (BRA) 10.50, Filipe Toledo (BRA) 9.56, Miguel Blanco (PRT) 4.17
Heat 6: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 13.17, Samuel Pupo (BRA) 6.03, Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 4.77
Heat 7: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 9.10, Miguel Pupo (BRA) 8.30, Wade Carmichael (AUS) 5.80
Heat 8: Conner Coffin (USA) 12.16, Griffin Colapinto (USA) 10.17, Joan Duru (FRA) 3.17
Heat 9: Ian Gouveia (BRA) 11.50, Kolohe Andino (USA) 5.76, Jeremy Flores (FRA) 1.80
Heat 10: Jesse Mendes (BRA) 8.83, Willian Cardoso (BRA) 7.03, Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 2.54
Heat 11: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 14.77, Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 6.77, Adriano de Souza (BRA) 6.17
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (PYF) 10.47, Michael February (ZAF) 6.73, Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 1.67

MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal Round 2 Results:
Heat 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 12.67 def. Samuel Pupo (BRA) 5.03
Heat 2: Owen Wright (AUS) 9.33 def. Miguel Blanco (PRT) 7.73
Heat 3: Wade Carmichael (AUS) 8.03 def. Vasco Ribeiro (PRT) 7.90
Heat 4: Kolohe Andino (USA) 12.33 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 9.73
Heat 5: Willian Cardoso (BRA) 14.50 def. Keanu Asing (HAW) 9.67
Heat 6: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 13.00 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 10.10

MEO Rip Curl Pro Portugal Remaining Round 2 Matchups:
Heat 7: Adriano De Souza (BRA) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 8: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) vs. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 
Heat 9: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Michael February (ZAF) 
Heat 10: Griffin Colapinto (USA) vs. Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 
Heat 11: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS) 
Heat 12: Yago Dora (BRA) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)