Would you rip of a pinky-nail to surf this point with just two friends? Photo: Google Earth
Revealing The World's Best Surf Setups... From Space!
An Instagram account you must follow.
Have you ever used Google Earth to locate potentially epic, possibly untapped surf spots around the world?
As someone who has sunk his very finite time and resources into Earth's digital bounty, let me tell you: Google Surfing is riveting but almost always ends in despair.
Because here's the thing: almost everywhere you look in the world, there are incredible waves to be found – secluded points, triangular reefs, and sand-spilling rivermouths etc. – but no matter how many of these setups you discover from your virtual spacecraft, it remains wildly unlikely that you will ever work up the gumption and/or funds to put your theories to the test.
Because life is short and money is short and when you have a free week and only a couple thou to spend, you'd probably prefer to chase a spot you know is gonna be fun, rather than visiting some crude corner of Africa where a very particular wave that needs a very particular swell may or may not be breaking.
With the help of clever internet commenters (like some of you below!) and Google Earth, I have been able to locate Naxto's zippery runner, Alex Gray's cerulean slab, and thanks to an obscure European blog post, I've even discovered the precise whereabouts of Mick's highly coveted Snake.
I'll admit that the endorphins released by these discoveries provide a wonderful high, but after that brief euphoria I'm left feeling lower than ever before, like a gal whose fairytale kiss was cut short by an erection to the thigh.
Alas, if you are feeling particularly frisky and wish to subject yourself to this particular form of penance, there's an Instagram account that might expedite your wounding process.
@Satellite_setups is a fledgling IG account – birthed less than a week ago, in fact – that does all the scrolly grunt-work so that you may bask in the world's corduroy glory.
As most of us probably would, @satellite_setups reveals only the locations of places that he/she/it never wishes to visit, such as the Gulf of Aqaba or the Hudson Bay, while keeping locations of the best setups close to his/her/its chest.
So if you're anything like me, and Instagram has more or less numbed you to the land, water, and even drone angles of the world's best waves, perhaps these grainy satellite visions will help re-stimulate your surf erection before ultimately deepening your depression.
It's a dragon that, as surfers, we all must chase from time to time.