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Close READER POLL 2017
We promise this won't (really) hurt.

Wanna win a new surfboard? We have a custom Chilli ‘Black Vulture’ to gift (plus all the trim you’d expect from a premium dealer). To be in the running, just answer a few questions for us. It won’t take long.

Probably: The 2017 Kelly Slater Wave Pool Specialty Event!

Introducing today’s substantiated canard: The long-anticipated, WSL-sanctioned wave pool event is pending for August 2017. Presumably in Lemoore, since the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch slated for Florida is just paperwork and proposal at the moment. When this airy piece of information was pushed across Stab's desk we started weaving together clues from the past months. And curves of the puzzle are aligning.

Here’s what we know: Josh Kerr, a jibber who famously won an airshow championship back when airshows where a thing, brought an idea to the WSL. Essentially it was, uh, the return of the airshow, except under the WSL umbrella. This would eliminate the Cape Fear “surf the event and potentially get kicked off tour” drama. This, in turn, triggered the notion of running a speciality WSL-sanctioned competition in Kelly’s pool. The event is to contain a better wave, around 20 surfers invited, and a weekend-long festival with a major media sponsor, live music, accommodation, somewhere for the kids to “get experienced” et al.

This falls in line with the beloved ex-CEO of the WSL, Paul Speaker’s public letter of resignation that stated: “The Kelly Slater Wave Company offers a tremendous and unprecedented opportunity for the League to dramatically shift the landscape of high-performance surfing around the world with guaranteed conditions, total fairness for the competitors, greatly enhanced live viewing and major television coverage at a scheduled time.”

We also know that Kelly’s wave 2.0 is in full effect; they’re building out a left for it, creating sections for carves and airs, and culling the one good wave every 10-15 minutes dilemma – essentially evolving the once stagnant water into its contestable prophecy.

In a PSA released by Kelly Slater a few weeks back, he gave an update on the Surf Ranch: “A few months ago we did what obsessive people do: We took something great and took it apart to create something even better. This will mean more waves, more sections and the goofy footers might be pretty excited too.”

We dialled Dave Prodan, VP of communications and fire chief for the WSL who said: “The idea behind the tech is to evolve and potentially run events there in the future as well.”

In a recent article in Florida’s Sun Sentinel, one of the bullet points presented by the representatives of the Surf Ranch Florida claimed the project would “lure thousands of spectators for surfing competitions presented by the World Surf League, a governing body for professional surfers." But that's the TBD future of Florida, and we're discussing the eventuality of Lemoore.

“We’re still a little way off of seeing that,” continued Dave in regards to the August event. “We don’t have anything of that nature for 2017,” he assured. However, this possible event is in the classified sector. If it is set for August, there are two open weekends between Tahiti (waiting period ends Aug 22) and Trestles (waiting period begins Sep 6). Conveniently during the time the ladies and gentlemen on tour relocate to Southern California – a five-hour drive from the Surf Ranch in Lemoore. Something that, in the world of rumour and theory, is sound.

“Also, I can’t say officially,” continued Kelly in his PSA. “But there are some exciting projects on the horizon and I look forward to sharing more with you as the year unfolds.”

Regarding the purist-unnerving artificial prospect, we'll all be tuning in for the genesis of a new normal when the time comes.

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