Stab Magazine | Laird Hamilton Is A Fan Of Fertile Eggs

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Laird Hamilton Is A Fan Of Fertile Eggs

“Just poke a hole in them and suck them out of the shell”

news // May 9, 2018
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Everyone knows that healthy eating is the only path to success in this highly competitive world of surfing. Kelly, John John, Freestone and Alana have all turned to veganism in order to save the world of ethical dilemmas and improve their nutrition in the process.

While others like Mikey Wright and Kolohe Andino have dropped the schooner and shot glasses in order to clear their minds and clear more water through their turns. 

As it turns out however, all of these professional athletes are wasting their precious time and money!

Unsurprisingly, big wave surfer come dietitian, Laird Hamilton, has recently revealed the secrets to being the best version of yourself in and out of the water. We’ve seen Laird’s dietary recommendations before, but none yet have involved eating the unborn. 

The first step to nutritional wonderland is eating simple old eggs.

But not just the standard protein sack from a chicken’s menstrual cycle, Laird instead recommends the fertilised version! And he’s kindly revealed all to the New York Post.

“Fertile eggs [eggs inseminated by a rooster, found in organic-food stores] are particularly good because they’re pH balanced and they’re just better for you. I usually eat a couple of them raw — just poke a hole in them and suck them out of the shell.”

As any young and desperate university student knows though, eggs and bread (and avocado if you never want to buy a house) aren’t enough to get you through the working day – or a day filled with breath training, hydrofoiling and whatever else Laird gets up to.

You typically need a side of something else, and nuts and meat evidently tick all of the additional boxes.

“I like to say, “I don’t have a sweet tooth; I have a fat tooth,” so nuts hit the spot.”

And Laird is also quite partial to a little bit of “organ meat”, none of that plebeian stuff that normal folk like you and I would buy.

“If I can get a good liver from the most wild [animal] you can get your hands on, that’s great. I love any kind of game that’s been caught in the wild.”

This isn’t Laird’s first tango with the female menstrual cycle either; previously, the man who tamed the wave of the century at Teahupoo has claimed that women’s periods are responsible for attracting sharks. Ovulation cycles in the surf might be a no-no according to Laird, but when it comes to those of poultry, they’re all the rage! 

Perhaps with a simple straw and fertilised egg you too could be handling Chopes like this. 

If you want to learn the ways of the foilboarding, big wave surfing savant that is Laird Hamilton. Then the first key to your success is probably adopting his nutritional ways, so that you can be the best organism possible. It involves not eating anything that’s been developed in the last 10’000 years and ensuring you avoid the three devils of gustation.

“White sugar, white flour and milk.”

Fortunately for willing learners like yourself and I, Laird has released a cookbook entitled “Fuel Up With Laird Hamilton”. You can check it out here. And make sure you have your credit card handy, because Xmas is never too far away to ring up a few of these badboys for your family and friends too.  

Disclaimer: While it’s easy to try and detract from Laird due to his eccentric image and bold suggestions, there’s no doubting the man is a god – of sorts.


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