Stab Magazine | Florida Man Busted In Jetboard Scam

Playing (Mostly) Exclusively On Stab Premium: Facing Monsters, Featuring Kerby & Cortney Brown


Florida Man Busted In Jetboard Scam

Crime and jetboards don’t pay.

news // Nov 18, 2019
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

No two words in journalism illicit more excitement than a headline that starts with “Florida man.” Whatever comes next, you know it is going to be batshit crazy. A few favorites from 2019:

Florida Man Accused of Intentionally Pressure Washing Neighbor

Florida Man Rescues Grandma Floating Away on Ice Throne

Florida Man Learns Hard Way He Stole Laxatives, Not Opioids

Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza

And the winner…

Florida Man Claiming People Were “Eating His Brains” Leads Police on Insane Golf Course Chase

Clearly, weird shit happens in Florida. Duh. And this week, a classic surf scam makes its way onto the list of Florida man’s greatest hits. The United States Securities and Exchange Commission has filed charges against a Florida man for hustling investors out of $350,000 who thought they were getting into the booming, highly lucrative “jetboard” business.

The SEC complaint alleges that “Roberto J. Clark, Jr. of Palm Bay, Florida and his company KRM Services, LLC raised hundreds of thousands of dollars from retail investors by falsely telling them the money would be used to develop and market motorized surfboards.

“Clark showed investors a forged contract for surfboard orders from a major cruise line, made misrepresentations about purported orders from water sports vendors in Florida, and marketed the investment in his company using baseless revenue projections,” continue the allegations.

Oh, but that’s not all. Old Roberto was living high on the hog thanks to all the dough from his would-be mechanized shred sticks. Allegedly, homeboy was blowing the cash on fancy suits, spiffy cars, front row tickets to sporting events, and of course, strip clubs…because every good Florida con involves a strip club in some way, shape or form.

As a result of the SEC’s actions, poor Roberto’s in a heap of trouble. Besides the financial penalties, he’s also facing criminal charges.

Moral of the story, never trust a dude in Florida trying to sell you a jetboard…but we didn’t have to tell you that.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

‘Desensitised’ Chronicles Kipp Caddy’s Journey To The ‘Wave Of A Lifetime’ In Mind Melting 8K 

“I think crew get a bit too beaten up on the whole tow vs paddle…

Jul 24, 2024

Long Read: How Surfing The World’s Most Dangerous Slabs Saved Kerby Brown’s Life

"There is big wave surfing, and then there is what Kerby does." - Kai Lenny

Jul 24, 2024

Who Nathan Florence Is Betting On For Olympic Gold

Become a better better with our 2023 SSOTY.

Jul 23, 2024

Kai McKenzie Attacked By Shark In Port Macquarie

The young freesurfer sustained a life-threatening injury to his right leg.

Jul 23, 2024

Op-ed: PSA From The Photog World — Know Your Fucking Limits

Nate Lawrence, Chris Bryan, Dom Mosqueira, Morgan Maassen and more chime in on the recent…

Jul 22, 2024

Unlocked: Oxbow’s Children Of Teahupo’o

10,000 miles from Paris, here's a portrait of surfing's 'Olympic Village.'

Jul 22, 2024

Dimitri Poulos Is Reinvigorated After Losing His Taurine-Caffeine Sponsor

Now the 21-year-old ‘comp guy’ from Ventura threatens a Dane-esque pivot to freesurfing.

Jul 22, 2024

Empty Set: When Is It Ok To Bail Your Board?

The Florences and Mark Healey dissect the razor-thin line between cowardice and common sense

Jul 21, 2024

A (Non) Objective Look At The Best Backside Barrel Riders In History

Who has the best pigdog in the pen?

Jul 21, 2024

The Stab Interview With Jordy Smith

"If I won a gold medal, yeah, I'd probably kick out. I'd have one up…

Jul 19, 2024

How Does A Board Brand Licensing Model Work?

The Lost Stub 3.0 Joyride.

Jul 18, 2024

Challenger Series Losers Win Consolation Prizes At Namibian Desert Casino

"Some crew were saying it was a 3/10, but for me, it was 10/10. The…

Jul 18, 2024

How Teahupo’o Slungshot A Surf-Mat Toting Photographer Into An Induced Coma

Byron Mcloughlin tells the tale of his secondary drowning.

Jul 18, 2024

On Making A Living As A Gen-Z Surf Photographer And Surviving Hyper-Rare Cancer

This 21-year-old protégé of Ryan Miller and Morgan Maassen is back and #opentowork.

Jul 17, 2024

In This Instalment Of MTV Cribs… Ethan Ewing

A character-revealing profile on the Olympian and World #5 + a complimentary Fiji preview

Jul 17, 2024

Jake Marshall Made It To 4th In The World And His Best Friend Is To Blame

From combatants, to housemates, to secretive CT surfer/shaper.

Jul 16, 2024

2024’s Electric Acid Surfboard Test Star Is…

Massively overqualified. 

Jul 16, 2024

Kelly Slater, Sierra Kerr + Erin Brooks Awarded Role Of Cats In Penultimate CT Pigeon Parade

A deadly lineup of wildcards just got invited to Fiji, the last event to determine…

Jul 16, 2024