Filipe Toledo May Or May Not Be The Ultimate Surfer - Stab Mag

Filipe Toledo May Or May Not Be The Ultimate Surfer

Episode 7 is a wrap, find out who’s advancing to tomorrow’s finale.

news // Sep 15, 2021
Words by The Ultimate Surf Fan
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Of all the dazzling and sculpted Ultimate Surfer contestants, Zeke Lau stands out the most.

He looks like a Varsity quarterback taking over JV scrimmage. Zeke’s turns are sharper, his runs are cleaner, and even his level of focus seems more mature. 

This makes sense, considering he was actually on the CT from 2017-2019. Throughout his career on Tour, he competed in 34 events and won 27 heats. Nobody else on the men’s side of the cast has more than a heat’s worth of major league experience. 

And don’t forget that Lau competed in the 2019 Fresh Water Pro, which gives him a major advantage over his Ultimate Surfing counterparts. The guy has been here before; he knows how to read the tides, which peak to sit on, and which sets he can pass on. Dolphins etc.

I know it’s not over yet, but I strongly believe that Zeke Lau is going to win this thing.

Oi vey, Episode 7. Can’t wait to have my Tuesday nights back.

It’s quiet, only 6 people left.

Jesse man sexy pants asks over the loud speaker, “What do football and surfing have in common?”

He has prepared a combine, but for surfing. Our contestants will have a 40-yard splash, duck diving obstacles along the way. Then, they’ll have to squeeze into a wetsuit on a floating platform and paddle back to shore — a full suit during the summer in Lemoore, what a treat.

The winners get 2 extra waves, 2nd place gets 1 extra wave, last place gets the cry. In this world, the cry is always free.

The men, who are all from Hawaii and don’t neoprene often, are off. Koa and Zeke are neck and neck; Kai is taking his time. The fellas start suiting up. Koa makes it back to shore first, then Zeke, then Kai. 

Big problem, though. Koa’s wetsuit isn’t fully on. One of his feet is only halfway down the leg sleeve part, uh oh. 


Zeke wins, Kai gets 2nd. Koa has a long talk with his little piggies. Cry remains free.

The ladies are up now. Malia is out for blood and bumps Brianna on the way into the water. They’re colliding, scrapping, and touching elbows. Drama? Yes, yes, this is drama.

Tia puts on her suit remarkably fast, finishing first. Malia follows behind shortly after, then Brianna.

Tia and Zeke win two extra waves, as well as electric skateboards. Very cool!

Ti and Bri talk about Malia’s poking of the bear. They’re not scared.

Kelly vision is back. The second time he’s been on the TV today, nice.

Best maneuver challenge. Airs, rotations, rodeos; bring something spicy.

A surfer appears to be flying down the line of a sudden Surf Ranch wave.

Filipe Toledo! Malia refers to him as a surf god. His hair is black, and he’s going to help our surfers practice.

Nobody lands an air, so Filipe reviews the footage. Widen your stance, step it up, go for it, be patient, be generally better at surfing because one of you is going to win a wildcard to compete against me on the CT, etc.

My leg, which is folded underneath my relatively new Macbook (I have a crypto portfolio), starts cramping. It cuts to a commercial, and I drink water for the first since the morning.

Semi-final wave challenge time.

Joel is ready for some biiiiiiiig lofty punts.

Brianna is up first, does a top turn blow tail thingy and gets a 7.33.

Malia is up next and fumbles a backside air. The second wave includes big float attempt, but she can’t hang on. Two 4’s won’t do her no good.

Tia now has 3 chances. First wave, she does a big vertical snap for an 8.93. She only needed one. Tia will see the final episode of the Ultimate Surfer. Malia and Brianna will go to the surf off.

Koa is next with only one attempt. Frontside air reverse, sticks it for a 7.00.

Kai is up next, but falls before the air section on his first run. He goes for a kerrupt flip on his second chance but fails.

Zeke has 3 chances. Throw tail reverse on the first attempt is no good. His second wave includes an alley-oop, but he can’t hang on. Last chance, last wave. One moment. Right here, right now, right after this commercial.

We’re back, and Zeke sticks a fat (phat) frontside alley-oop with a clean clean landing. 9.63

Another secret bonus for the winners, according to Jesse. Zeke and Tia get to give an extra wave to a surfer of their choice for the surf off. Tia and Brianna hug immediately.  Zeke gives the bonus to Koa because Kai is just too unpredictable.

Malia goes first and falls about halfway through her run.

Brianna blows her first attempt, but connects the dots on her second chance. Not looking good for queen Malia.

Kai is up next with a collection of snaps, a deep pit, and a roundhouse cutty to finish. Well done, Mr. Barger.

Koa falls during an air attempt on his first wave. Run #2, however, comes with multiple hacks, 2 barrels, and a low-flying backhand reverse.

Brianna advances to the final, as well as Koa.

Zeke isn’t going to lose, he says so.

Kai and Malia go home.

This will be longest 7 days of my life.

See you next week.


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

How An Encounter In Texas Led To Noah Beschen Signing With A Swiss Watch Brand

The Stab Interview with the 23-year-old who Jordy considers the world's best free surfer.

Jul 12, 2024

Bruce Irons, Koa Rothman, Peter And John Mel Sign With Bodybuilding x Surf Brand

Darc Sport plants their black flag in Oahu and Santa Cruz to stake claim in…

Jul 12, 2024

The Best Surfing I’ve Ever Seen: Erik Knutson

Dave Rastovich + John Florence catch a sketchy little plane to a funky little farmhouse.

Jul 12, 2024

A Legendary Grom From Nias Joins The Audible World, Thanks To Surfers

‘Boy’ is a staple of the local surf community — who's been gifted a new…

Jul 11, 2024

To Train or Not To Train?

Exploring the exercise habits of Kelly, Andy, Mick, John and everyone in between.

Jul 10, 2024

Former World Junior Champion Suspended From Competition For Drug Test Refusal

Vasco Ribeiro remains ineligible to compete until 2026.

Jul 10, 2024

Reminder: This Could Be Jordy’s Year

Watch the current world #7 massacre right-hand point breaks in new O'Neill film 'Plus27'

Jul 10, 2024

Before Constructing His Surf-Party Empire, Tai Buddha Was Too Broke To Rent A Motorbike

Tales from rock bottom, memories of Mikala Jones, and philosophies on success from an exceptionally…

Jul 10, 2024

Long Read: The Life Of Mikala Jones

A tribute to one of the most respected and beloved surfers of our time.

Jul 9, 2024

All Three Stab High Japan Winners Were Riding The Same Surfboard Brand

And two of them were on a technology you’ve never heard of.

Jul 9, 2024

Tahiti’s About To Hawk Tuah On Some Olympians

Teetering on tow-only, will the next swell to hit Teahupo'o sink athletes' hopes of getting…

Jul 9, 2024

“It’s The Best Board That Goes Straight In The Whole World”

Jason Stevenson and Tai Buddha offer their solution to the board thickness + big tube…

Jul 9, 2024

Ian Gouveia Wins CS Event On Tatiana Weston-Webb’s Board, As Signed By Kelly Slater and Occy

And you will not believe the air they deemed incomplete.

Jul 8, 2024

Empty Set: Does Shark Deterrence Technology Work?

A poignant audience question — answered by leading researchers and the CEO of Sharkbanz.

Jul 7, 2024

Zen And The Art Of Air-Dropping Aerodynamically

Kai Lenny on the effect of F1 cars, airplane wings, and Taco Bell on big-wave…

Jul 6, 2024

Shane Dorian On Coaching The US Olympic Surf Team, Stepping Away From Big Waves, Parenting & More

“Nazare is the perfect wave to fly into from Munich, hop on a jetski and…

Jul 5, 2024

Meet The Man Who Slept In His Car For A Month And Logged 108 Sessions At URBNSURF Melbourne

Four back surgeries and full-time job be damned. 

Jul 5, 2024

How Much Is Surfing Worth?

Around $3 billion a year in Australia, according to new study.

Jul 5, 2024