Stab Magazine | Different Month But Groundhog Day Continues

Live Now — Episode 3 Of Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico

74 Views

Different Month But Groundhog Day Continues

And it happens again. Stop five of ten on the 2010 ASP world tour, the Billabong Pro Tahiti, witnessed six to eight foot blue barrels for the trials before turning lake for the first seven days of the waiting period. It’s a frustrating and familiar anomaly for organisers (they moved the event from. May to August/September – the month that local fisherman and surf forecasters insist has the most swell – to get around it). And one that’ s seen tour pros further develop their ability to procrastinate. Here’s how they’ve spent the few days at Lake Teahupoo: The Hobgoods, Bobby Martinez, the Gudauskas brothers and the rest of the crew staying in the waterfront manor of Mama and Papa Teva’s have been checking out waterfalls, lagoons and pools, beating the shit out of a boxing bag, swimming with reef sharks, fishing, snorkelling, and playing hackeysack. Ace Buchan, Mick Fanning, Matty Wilko, Jay ‘Bottle’ Thompson and Bede Durbidge have been playing UFC on Playstation3 and running ping pong tournaments. Others have resorted to playing scrabble, jogging, and cracking coconuts. Facebook has taken a predictable hammering. Statistics confirm thousands of photos have been stalked, more than 279 anonymous women have been added as friends and surfers are spending an average of three to five minutes on the profile pics of “attractive” females.* Most have been attempting to surf in the small but sometimes-fun conditions, and Kelly, Dane and Jeremy even scored some pretty solid rights at a secret reef. A medium-size south swell is predicted for the next few days.  * That statistic is, like, totes bogus. Facebook don’t reveal sheeeat, holmes. You know dat.

news // Feb 22, 2016
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

And it happens again. Stop five of ten on the 2010 ASP world tour, the Billabong Pro Tahiti, witnessed six to eight foot blue barrels for the trials before turning lake for the first seven days of the waiting period. It’s a frustrating and familiar anomaly for organisers (they moved the event from.

May to August/September – the month that local fisherman and surf forecasters insist has the most swell – to get around it). And one that’ s seen tour pros further develop their ability to procrastinate. Here’s how they’ve spent the few days at Lake Teahupoo:

The Hobgoods, Bobby Martinez, the Gudauskas brothers and the rest of the crew staying in the waterfront manor of Mama and Papa Teva’s have been checking out waterfalls, lagoons and pools, beating the shit out of a boxing bag, swimming with reef sharks, fishing, snorkelling, and playing hackeysack. Ace Buchan, Mick Fanning, Matty Wilko, Jay ‘Bottle’ Thompson and Bede Durbidge have been playing UFC on Playstation3 and running ping pong tournaments. Others have resorted to playing scrabble, jogging, and cracking coconuts. Facebook has taken a predictable hammering. Statistics confirm thousands of photos have been stalked, more than 279 anonymous women have been added as friends and surfers are spending an average of three to five minutes on the profile pics of “attractive” females.*

Most have been attempting to surf in the small but sometimes-fun conditions, and Kelly, Dane and Jeremy even scored some pretty solid rights at a secret reef. A medium-size south swell is predicted for the next few days. 

* That statistic is, like, totes bogus. Facebook don’t reveal sheeeat, holmes. You know dat.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

10 Shapers To Watch In The Next 10 Years — Part One

“It’s like a drug empire, man. Cut the head off the snakes, and more will…

Jul 7, 2025

Mason Ho Joins Ritual Vision, Releases Remix Of Greatest Hits

Dion Agius riffs on the eyewear brand’s U.S. expansion, Ritualistic Tendencies, and the new stars…

Jul 7, 2025

Is It Time For A New Judging Format?

We have a modest proposal — a WSL head judge disagrees.

Jul 7, 2025

Luke Thompson Turns Last Year’s Priority Disaster Into Ballito Gold

+ earns himself a wildcard into Jbay.

Jul 7, 2025

Fiji Has Its First Professional Surfer, And He’s Unbelievable

16-year-old James Kusitino’s incomprehensible tube lounging leads to a deal with Former.

Jul 6, 2025

Laird Hamilton on The Limitations of Being a Purist, Invention vs. Ownership + Why He Never Had a Sticker Deal 

Untold stories from his How Surfers Get Paid interview.

Jul 4, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 3

"The tribe has spoken," Dane Reynolds pronounced, and a surfer's torch was snuffed.

Jul 3, 2025

When Surfer’s Eye Is Actually Cancer

Erin Campbell's brutal journey from surf camp dreams to chemo drops, cryotherapy, and surgical horror.

Jul 3, 2025

Surfing’s 2025 Q2 Report

An assessment of surfing's vital signs throughout the second quarter of 2025.

Jul 2, 2025

What Actually Happened to Occy’s Mad Max Plunger Pool In Yeppoon?

Surf Lakes’ brass talks: internet hecklers, the unplugging of the plunger, and the Tom Curren…

Jul 2, 2025

Poor Goofy Foots 

Data shows that the world is stacked against goofs — they even make 15% less money than…

Jul 1, 2025

Britain’s First Wavepool Has Closed — What Really Happened?

Bankruptcy, social media hackings, debts unpaid — and yet, reopening looms.

Jul 1, 2025

Watch: Was Matt Meola’s Air Actually Better Than Hughie’s?

Watch the full Swatch Nines highlight reel and decide.

Jun 30, 2025

Houshmand Bludgeons Field To Win Second CT — Molly Picklum Tastes Blood, Snatches World #1 In Brazil

You can't argue with big surfing — that's Saquarema wrapped.

Jun 29, 2025

37 Years Old And World #1 — What’s Changed For Jordy Smith?

On rediscovering decades old surfboard templates, having a personality on the CT, and why this…

Jun 27, 2025

Tom Lowe Stars in ‘Let Me Live’

The wild, improbable ascent of Britain’s best big-wave surfer.

Jun 27, 2025

Saq Wrap: Italo Celebrates Mid-Heat, Griff Drops A Freestyle, Jordy + Yago Continue BBQing 20-YOs

Top seeds sow ruin, Final 5 starts to crystallize.

Jun 27, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 2

Our seven surviving surfers confront an oddly large California beach break.

Jun 26, 2025
Advertisement