Stab Magazine | California Governor Singles Out Orange County For Beach Closures And Increased Precautionary Orders

Live Now — Episode 3 Of Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico

121 Views

California Governor Singles Out Orange County For Beach Closures And Increased Precautionary Orders

And we thought San Diego was angry? Wait ’til they feel the burn from behind the Orange Curtain!

news // May 1, 2020
Words by Stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It was widely believed that during today’s lunchtime presser, California Governor Gavin Newsom would bring the hammer down on beaches and state parks from Oregon to Mexico. 

A law enforcement bulletin was leaked to an investigative reporters yesterday, which pointed to State-wide beach closures after the weekend’s unprecedented crowding under stay at home and self-isolation orders. While those in Orange County and the rest of Southern California freaked out or made attempts at reasonable arguments (names that a telephoto long lens with its barrel pointed at any beach is going to look crowded). 

Meanwhile, Northern California wasn’t having it, as Humboldt County sheriff William Honsai  o eloquently expresed to ABC 7 today. 

“As Sheriff, I am the protector of constitutional rights in Humboldt County, and if an order is issued that I believe violates our constitutional rights, I will not enforce it.”

“The governor is a smart man,” Honsal continued. “I hope he follows sound advice. It is not okay to punish Northern California for Southern California’s mistake, and I hope he hears that loud and clear.”

And maybe he did. During today’s press conference Newsom surprised Californians with what he called “some clarifications.”

“We’re going to do a hard close in that part of the state, the Orange County area.”

And so there you have it. You thought San Diego was an angry little surf town? Wait ’til the Gov’s office feels the burn from behind the Orange Curtain. 

You can watch Gov. Newsom’s press briefing here. 

Oh, and speaking of “O.C. Life,” you can listen to the monumentally underrated D.I.’s Ancient Artifacts, here, including perhaps the greatest Orange County anti-anthem ever written. 

Wanna be a member wanna be a name
Wanna be a local face and play the social games
Dancing through a time warp in your dinosaur trends
The limits of your mind is where the County line ends
Listen to the media and accepting as a fact
Following its orders ‘cause you don’t know how to act
Travel in a straight line ‘cause you don’t know another way
They’ll get you in the end, you’ll have your hell to pay

‘Cause O.C. life is not the life for me
Stupid little chicks and egotistic boys
O.C. life is not the life so free
Pressure’s on my back and artificial joys – for you girls and boys

Wanna be remembered, wanna have some fame
Fighting to stay ahead – it’s all a part of the game
Combat authority but don’t get out of line
They’ll put you in the slammer
You’ll be doing some time
“714” tattooed on my head
I find myself labeled, I’m a victim instead
Abide by the rules, I don’t see the way
I’d rather be dead than have the price that they pay

‘Cause O.C. life is not the life for me
Stupid little girls and egotistic fags
O.C. life is not the life so free
Pressure’s on my back
And artificial joys for you girls and boys

Put the plastic right in the machine!

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Is It Time For A New Judging Format?

We have a modest proposal — a WSL head judge disagrees.

Jul 7, 2025

Luke Thompson Turns Last Year’s Priority Disaster Into Ballito Gold

+ earns himself a wildcard into Jbay.

Jul 7, 2025

Fiji Has Its First Professional Surfer, And He’s Unbelievable

16-year-old James Kusitino’s incomprehensible tube lounging leads to a deal with Former.

Jul 6, 2025

Laird Hamilton on The Limitations of Being a Purist, Invention vs. Ownership + Why He Never Had a Sticker Deal 

Untold stories from his How Surfers Get Paid interview.

Jul 4, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 3

"The tribe has spoken," Dane Reynolds pronounced, and a surfer's torch was snuffed.

Jul 3, 2025

When Surfer’s Eye Is Actually Cancer

Erin Campbell's brutal journey from surf camp dreams to chemo drops, cryotherapy, and surgical horror.

Jul 3, 2025

Surfing’s 2025 Q2 Report

An assessment of surfing's vital signs throughout the second quarter of 2025.

Jul 2, 2025

What Actually Happened to Occy’s Mad Max Plunger Pool In Yeppoon?

Surf Lakes’ brass talks: internet hecklers, the unplugging of the plunger, and the Tom Curren…

Jul 2, 2025

Poor Goofy Foots 

Data shows that the world is stacked against goofs — they even make 15% less money than…

Jul 1, 2025

Britain’s First Wavepool Has Closed — What Really Happened?

Bankruptcy, social media hackings, debts unpaid — and yet, reopening looms.

Jul 1, 2025

Watch: Was Matt Meola’s Air Actually Better Than Hughie’s?

Watch the full Swatch Nines highlight reel and decide.

Jun 30, 2025

Houshmand Bludgeons Field To Win Second CT — Molly Picklum Tastes Blood, Snatches World #1 In Brazil

You can't argue with big surfing — that's Saquarema wrapped.

Jun 29, 2025

37 Years Old And World #1 — What’s Changed For Jordy Smith?

On rediscovering decades old surfboard templates, having a personality on the CT, and why this…

Jun 27, 2025

Tom Lowe Stars in ‘Let Me Live’

The wild, improbable ascent of Britain’s best big-wave surfer.

Jun 27, 2025

Saq Wrap: Italo Celebrates Mid-Heat, Griff Drops A Freestyle, Jordy + Yago Continue BBQing 20-YOs

Top seeds sow ruin, Final 5 starts to crystallize.

Jun 27, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 2

Our seven surviving surfers confront an oddly large California beach break.

Jun 26, 2025

SEOTY: The ‘Once-In-A-Decade’ Caribbean Swell That Kelly Slater Passed On

Michael Dunphy stars in Jimmicane's 'Blue Veil'

Jun 25, 2025

Who Owns Bingin? Legal Fight To Stop Demolition Begins

Eviction notices served for all businesses built on state land.

Jun 25, 2025
Advertisement