Stab Magazine | California Governor Singles Out Orange County For Beach Closures And Increased Precautionary Orders

Season finale of How Surfers Get Paid drops Thursday, 5pm PT


California Governor Singles Out Orange County For Beach Closures And Increased Precautionary Orders

And we thought San Diego was angry? Wait ’til they feel the burn from behind the Orange Curtain!

news // May 1, 2020
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It was widely believed that during today’s lunchtime presser, California Governor Gavin Newsom would bring the hammer down on beaches and state parks from Oregon to Mexico. 

A law enforcement bulletin was leaked to an investigative reporters yesterday, which pointed to State-wide beach closures after the weekend’s unprecedented crowding under stay at home and self-isolation orders. While those in Orange County and the rest of Southern California freaked out or made attempts at reasonable arguments (names that a telephoto long lens with its barrel pointed at any beach is going to look crowded). 

Meanwhile, Northern California wasn’t having it, as Humboldt County sheriff William Honsai  o eloquently expresed to ABC 7 today. 

“As Sheriff, I am the protector of constitutional rights in Humboldt County, and if an order is issued that I believe violates our constitutional rights, I will not enforce it.”

“The governor is a smart man,” Honsal continued. “I hope he follows sound advice. It is not okay to punish Northern California for Southern California’s mistake, and I hope he hears that loud and clear.”

And maybe he did. During today’s press conference Newsom surprised Californians with what he called “some clarifications.”

“We’re going to do a hard close in that part of the state, the Orange County area.”

And so there you have it. You thought San Diego was an angry little surf town? Wait ’til the Gov’s office feels the burn from behind the Orange Curtain. 

You can watch Gov. Newsom’s press briefing here. 

Oh, and speaking of “O.C. Life,” you can listen to the monumentally underrated D.I.’s Ancient Artifacts, here, including perhaps the greatest Orange County anti-anthem ever written. 

Wanna be a member wanna be a name
Wanna be a local face and play the social games
Dancing through a time warp in your dinosaur trends
The limits of your mind is where the County line ends
Listen to the media and accepting as a fact
Following its orders ‘cause you don’t know how to act
Travel in a straight line ‘cause you don’t know another way
They’ll get you in the end, you’ll have your hell to pay

‘Cause O.C. life is not the life for me
Stupid little chicks and egotistic boys
O.C. life is not the life so free
Pressure’s on my back and artificial joys – for you girls and boys

Wanna be remembered, wanna have some fame
Fighting to stay ahead – it’s all a part of the game
Combat authority but don’t get out of line
They’ll put you in the slammer
You’ll be doing some time
“714” tattooed on my head
I find myself labeled, I’m a victim instead
Abide by the rules, I don’t see the way
I’d rather be dead than have the price that they pay

‘Cause O.C. life is not the life for me
Stupid little girls and egotistic fags
O.C. life is not the life so free
Pressure’s on my back
And artificial joys for you girls and boys

Put the plastic right in the machine!


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent


Caity Simmers — Extreme Competitive Surf Vlogger

Cool is chemical.

Mar 23, 2023

Globe Pulls Out Of The Apparel Game

…and, Taj Burrow and Dion Agius are now looking for new main sponsors.

Mar 22, 2023

Owen Wright Announces Retirement From Competitive And Heavy-Water Surfing

But will surf final CT event at Bells.

Mar 22, 2023


Fancy An Ale, Some Good Music, And A Bunch Of Tubes?

Ballet's minimalist full-length will satiate your needs.

Mar 22, 2023

João Chianca Spent Seven Years On The QS Without A Sponsor

And look where he is now.

Mar 22, 2023

Take Stab’s 2023 Audience Survey, Win A 3-Board Quiver

Stab towels and Premium subscriptions also up or grabs.

Mar 21, 2023

Jessi Miley Dyer On The New Challenger Series Schedule And More

Did you know that you could miss the mid-year cut and still theoretically win the…

Mar 20, 2023


Don’t Miss The Last Wave Of The First 2023 SEOTY Entry

Jacob Willcox's ‘Into Dust’ just set the bar.

Mar 20, 2023

Warren Smith on New Welcome Rivers Range and Buying Jaguars on Facebook Marketplace  

Now available in the Antipodes...

Mar 20, 2023


Wavegarden Spills How The Sausage Is Made

BTS of their global air wave rollout ft. Yago Dora, Dion Agius, Reef Heazlewood and…

Mar 18, 2023

Minds, Machines, And The Magic Of Hands

How modern shapers split their time between designing files and hand-finishing boards.

Mar 18, 2023


Are Hectic Lefts The Final Finless Frontier?

William Aliotti is on the right-foot-forward fringes.

Mar 17, 2023

Watch: Luke + Eddie

A mostly unknown, on-duty lifeguard won the most prestigious big-wave event in history. How Luke…

Mar 17, 2023


A Pipe Master, Ryan Burch, And Some Pickle Forks On The Eastern Seaboard

This one ticks a lot of boxes

Mar 16, 2023

Brazil Has A Talent Problem

And three other things we learned from the Rip Curl Pro Portugal.

Mar 16, 2023


Mick Fanning On A Unicorn, Bags Of Dicks, And A Shocking Script Read By Surfing’s Biggest Stars

Vaughan Blakey and Nick Pollet on their outrageous film, 'The Greatest Surf Movie In The…

Mar 15, 2023

Italo Ferreira Caught 63 Waves In An Hour

And other stats from our Stab in the Dark production.

Mar 15, 2023


Can A Freesurfer Go The Other Way? A Dakoda Walters Case Study

The 57-kilo Aussie has taken a Stab High approach to traditional contest surfing.

Mar 15, 2023