Stab Magazine | Bruce On The Loose, Guns and Roses x Andy Irons, And Why Foiling Is Becoming A Problem
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Bruce On The Loose, Guns and Roses x Andy Irons, And Why Foiling Is Becoming A Problem

Gossip Girl: dispatch from a most bustling North Shore.

news // Dec 4, 2018
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s amazing the things you hear if you keep your head down in line at the Sharks Cove food trucks, waiting for an acai bowl and coxina at Off The Wall, or your bulletproof coffee with collagen and almond butter at Sunrise Shack. 

With the entire surf world holed up somewhere along Kam Highway, we’ve been busy, busy, and so have our phones, buzzing with flurries of text each afternoon giving up the goods. 

When his name was called out on Thursday afternoon’s Eddie Ceremony, former event winner Bruce Irons was nowhere to be found at Waimea Beach Park. 

After a run-in with Newport Beach police left Bruce fighting charges—driving while under the influence of drugs, possession of a controlled substance without a prescription, and driving without a valid driver’s license”—he was caught by a TMZ camera heading to Hawaii from California for the ceremony. While he was able to catch his flight this time, it seems Bruce couldn’t find his way for the afternoon’s picturesque proceedings. 

However, Saturday afternoon, with a solid Northeast pulse fading with the day, Bruce took his place at the front of the Pipe pecking order, sitting out the back with his longtime confidantes and brothers-in-arms, Derek Ho and Gavin Beschen, the three of them snagging beauties and getting blown out of backlit pits with the sky on fire with a most glorious sunset behind them. Click in to the edit above for a taste of the evening. 

Foiling Is Ruining Everything

After watching a handful of the more seasoned Sunset surfers rolling up the windows, and taking bumps in a most awkward manner, Strider Wasilewski connected the dots between the bobbles, noting that many of the surfers looking out of sorts had been spending their downtime between swells foiling some of the less shredable reefs. 

“There were twenty five guys foiling out here yesterday,” Strider guffawed to Kaipo Juaquias. “Twenty five of them out at Backyards.” 

Strider noted how back-footed the approach of many surfers who’ve pledged #loyaltothefoil was hindering their performances at Sunset. 

True? 

A healthy slice of the 2018/19 Eddie invitees. Photo by Sam Moody.

The Eddie Ain’t Going Nowhere This Week

The last twenty four hours, our phones have buzzed non-stop, Mainlanders trying to get the inside line from the Island, as to whether Wednesday’s potentially XXL swell will see the Eddie run. 

Yeah, nah. 

According to sources within the Big Wave Brotherhood, Wednesday’s swell’s not going to cut mustard, the period to short, the size not quite there, and with downgrading likely. 

 

Caio Ibelli’s a swetheart, but his rail game is mean as hell.

Caio’s Done Being The Nice Guy

After news broke that surfers had unanimously voted for Caio Ibelli to get the nod for one of the two injury wildcards he, Kelly Slater and John Florence are all vying for, we got word that the WSL was still planning on giving KS and John the spots, posing the question to surfers at the meeting:”should wildcards be awarded to the surfers with more competitive legacy or injury gravity.

Caio reportedly met with WSL Ceo Sophie Goldschmidt, to discuss what their plans were first-hand. According to sources close to both the WSL and Caio, there was discussion around whether Caio would settle for a half-dozen wildcards into select events. Caio was less than impressed with the offer, and voiced that during the meeting. Known for being an all around fun loving, genuinely well-liked cat, Caio was quick to clarify that when it came to the job he’s worked his ass off to get and now, hopefully, keep, the gloves were off. 

“I’m done being the nice guy,” Caio told Stab before a lackluster session yesterday at Rocky Point. “I worked really hard and I love competing, but I don’t want to be a part of it if they’re just going to do whatever they want.”

We’ve not gotten word from the WSL as to whether a decision has been made officially. 

 

Axl Rose ain’t ever done Hawaii? Photo from Ultimate Classic Rock.

Guns and Fucking Roses, Man!

If there is one subject this season as widely small-talked about as, say How long you staying? Which house you in? You gotten any waves?—it’s most certainly been: You’re going to Guns and Roses, right? 

Turns out Axl and the boys have never played Hawaii, which is incredible, really—it’s hard to imagine the last thirty years passing without Axl’s mug landing in the Honolulu mugshots after a stadium rager and a visit to taste Chinatown’s most black market wares…

The show is the closing night of RVCA’s week-long #RVCALOHA residency, and a portion of the proceeds will go to benefit the Andy Irons Foundation. 

“[Guns and Roses] are giving the Andy Irons foundation $1.00 for every ticket sold,” Enich Harris tells Stab. “This is so huge for Lyndie and the AI Foundation.  What is crazy too is that December 8th just happens to be the 1st Day of Pipe Masters in honor of Andy Irons, and is Axel Iron’s Bday and Axel’s name was inspired by Axel Rose. All too crazy….”

“It is such an honor to partner with Guns N’ Roses for their first ever show in Hawaii,” Lyndie Irons said in a release. “As Andy sought solace through music, my goal with the Andy Irons Foundation is to offer hope and vital programs for young people struggling with mental illness, drug abuse, and learning disabilities. I am truly grateful for such an amazing experience with one of Andy’s all-time favorite bands.”

RVCA’s got all sorts of festivities planned between now and then. Don’t worry, we’ll bring ya back everything ya missed. 

XOXO

Gossip Girl

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