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Close READER POLL 2017
We promise this won't (really) hurt.

Wanna win a new surfboard? We have a custom Chilli ‘Black Vulture’ to gift (plus all the trim you’d expect from a premium dealer). To be in the running, just answer a few questions for us. It won’t take long.

Balaram Stack Debates Sports And Drinks Sake With Porn Star Mia Khalifa

Ok but what the actual fuck has been going on recently? Ever since Morgan hyperlinked Paris Hilton's sex tape to my otherwise family-friendly walking story, on-camera sex has become deeply embedded in the surfing world. First there was Pornhub, who randomly posted a picture of Dusty Payne as their XXXtreme Sports Sponsorship ambassador. Next Rory informed us, almost graphically, of the "surfer boy" porn that exists mere clicks away. Then, just two hours ago, Balaram Stack posted a clip to his Instagram where he sat, in a fully-fledged TV studio, next to ex(?)-porn star Mia Khalifa.  

Let's just skip the part where we all pretend not to know her, yeah?

So it turns out that Mia co-stars on Complex's sports talk-show, The Out Of Bounds Show. The show consists of Mia, ex-NBAer Gilbert Arenas, and two other dudes talking shit about hockey, basketball, and football in fairly haphazard manner. It's basically a shitty version of every ESPN show featuring a girl whose boobs you've definitely seen. Today, Balaram was a guest on the program.

I just got off the phone with Balaram who explained the situation thusly:

Stab: How did all of this come about?
Balaram Stack: The show just kinda fell into my lap. I've got a cousin who works in PR, he's kinda in that world, and he just threw my name out there and they were like "Yeah, sure". I didn't even know Mia was gonna be there, but I met her and we did the show together, then we went out to lunch together and had some sake. She paid. It was pretty chill.

Is... that it?
Yeah, nothing crazy happened, but it was fun.

It seemed like there was a little something between you two on the show, were you getting that vibe?
Yeah I mean, of course I'm gonna think that, but she's pretty flirtatious to begin with. I don't know, we'll see.

You get her number?
Yup.

Oh how they flirt!

Balaram, who normally carries bucket-loads of confidence both in and out of the water, seemed a little sheepish throughout the show. He did have a few moments of brilliance though, like the time he thought Kelly Slater was "40 or 41" (he's 73), but mostly with the following exchange (7:07 in the main clip):

Balaram: I grew up playing hockey until I was like 14, and I was always a Rangers fan growing up. And I don't think that'll ever change.

Mia: Give me a week.

Balaram: A week? And what, you'll get me to be a Caps [note: Bal is referring to the Washington Capitals, a hockey team who rivals the New York Rangers] fan?

Mia: Maybe.

Balaram: Tsss I don't think there's any hope in that... you can try if you want. I'm open to--

Gilbert: She's got her tricks [laughs].

It is much, much better in the actual clip so I recommend you give it a watch. 

 

 

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