“First Person To Punt Over The Rainbow Gets $5K”

The rain beat the tarmac like ceremonious drums when we landed on the North Shore. It was wet. So wet that our Airbnb’s resident rooster lost his motivation to crow. The Sun Bum team, however, were a more adaptable species, and their evolution had little to do with forcing shit sessions.

While the island stormed, Mason Ho planted fruit trees. Caity Simmers cooked pepperoncini pastas. Timo filmed his filmer. Zoe scaled artificial rocks. Vaihiti hunted for the perfect hibiscus. Your author hunted for the perfect Cabernet. At night, we played a game called, “Anxiety,”  which revealed archetypes like: Who is most likely to attend a religious service drunk? Or who is most likely to hook up with their significant other’s sibling?

We laughed. One person cried. And just when I was beginning to enjoy purgatory, the sun reclaimed her effervescence, and Mason Ho called the Bum Rush Masters on.

Before the impromptu event started, Mason and Vaihiti did their diligence as judges and scouted the lineup. Inspired by their surf, Mason blew the criteria wide open: “We want to see barrels, airs, turns, style and huge wipeouts. If you do all these things, you will win the Bum Rush.”

The end points of a rainbow set the contest boundaries, and with the sirens of a police raid, the hour-long session began. Our favourite moments include:

• “Paddle around those guys like I’m out there,” Coco says in earnest encouragement. 
• “This is the most beautiful day of the year,” Vaihiti said after the Superglow rainbow occurrence. 
• Michael Ho re-writes criteria halfway through the event. Production dares not interfere. 
• Baby Bear’s redemption arc.  
• Ladybird bribery [almost] sways judges. 
• The sketchiest chair up the beach since Sebastain Zietz won the Triple Crown

In the end, a twisted love story stole the show.

The $5K was given to 21-year-old Makana Franzman, who did a full revolution over a human-made section. A few weeks later, the Rocky Point native’s sticky feet sent Kade Matson to an early death in the Newcastle challenger series.